


Working the Stage

by stylesoftheshire



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Stripper/Exotic Dancer, M/M, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-09
Updated: 2013-09-02
Packaged: 2017-12-04 19:26:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 64,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/714183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stylesoftheshire/pseuds/stylesoftheshire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry never thought that he would fall for a stripper.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this was one of the first things I ever started writing and I'm really only putting it on here just in case tumblr goes tits up or something

Harry couldn’t believe he’d let Niall drag him in here. His eyes scanned the place sceptically, dim lighting only illuminating the poles that stood in the middle of the round tables dotted around the room where men and women twirled and grinded seductively. He felt dirty just being there.

He turned to see his best friend hopping up and down in excitement. Harry hadn’t gotten laid in a fair few months himself, but he knew that going to a strip joint wasn’t the answer, especially with their ‘look, don’t touch’ policy. If anything, he was sure that this little trip would only make the Niall even more hard-up.

‘I’m going to get a drink!,’ Harry shouted over the music, barely registering with his friend who was already making his way over to where a leggy brunette was hanging upside down from the pole nearest to them. He rolled his eyes and weaved his way through the tables and topless servers to the bar at the other end of the club and ordered a beer.

‘You sure you don’t want something a bit stronger, mate? You look a bit uncomfortable there,’ the bartender said, laughing as Harry shifted edgily on the barstool. He couldn’t help but smile as he had another look up at the drinks’ board.

‘You got me there. Give me a vodka shot to get me started, I have a feeling my friend’s going to want to stay here for a while,’ he replied, pointing his thumb over his shoulder to where Niall was gazing up in awe at the woman untying her bikini.

‘Coming right up, mate,’ the bartender smiled, his name badge reading ‘Liam’ flashing as he turned to the bottles.

After downing his first he ordered two simultaneously, necking them quickly. As the burning sensation in his throat spread and calmed to a warmth starting in his fingertips, Harry finally relaxed. Realising he was the only guy who wasn’t sat gawking at a stripper, he turned back to the bartender who was absent-mindedly wiping glasses with a bored look on his face.

‘So… how long have you worked here?’

Liam looked at him in surprise – clearly not many people who came here were eager to strike up conversation with the bartender. Harry chuckled. ‘Sorry, this place isn’t really my cup of tea. I’m here for moral support really.’ He threw another glance over to Niall. ‘Though I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s forgotten I exist,’ he added, signalling for another shot.

Liam laughed. ‘Fair enough, mate.’ He placed Harry’s fourth shot in front of him before continuing. ‘I’ve only been here for a few months actually. I used to be a pub manager but things went down the toilet when the recession hit and I had to pick up work wherever I could. When I saw an advert for a bartender in a strip joint, I thought I’d hit gold.’ He cast a lethargic look around the dimly lit room. ‘Turns out the novelty actually does wear off. After a few weeks it’s just another poorly paid job surrounded by people far too attractive for your self-esteem, be it the men or women.’

Harry smirked. ‘I have kind of the opposite problem in my job. I work in a bakery so I’m constantly surrounded by food that I can’t eat. It’s hell.’

‘Oh, you poor thing!’ Liam replied sarcastically, before his eyes were drawn to the door swinging open. ‘Ah, the star of the show has decided to turn up.’

Harry swivelled in his seat, his gaze instantly falling on the man who was now strutting toward them. He wore skin tight red jeans that clung to his thighs, groin and arse teasingly as he walked. He wore a simple grey t-shirt but it was form fitting and showed off his lithe figure, complemented by the suspenders that pulled over his shoulders.

But it was his face that caught Harry’s attention the most. As he walked into the light from nearby tables, his profile was almost tauntingly feminine, but his chiselled jaw was speckled with light stubble that assured his sense of masculinity. Harry’s tipsy mind itched to run his hands through the mussed up brown hair arranged in a ‘just-shagged’ look as the man drew nearer. When he was close enough, Harry could make out the twinkle in the bright blue eyes as he waved to the bartender.

He had never seen such a beautiful man in all his life.

‘Hey, Liam babe! Sorry I’m late, got a bit caught up,’ the stranger apologised, though the giggle that tagged along at the end made Harry think he was less than sincere.

Tearing his eyes away before he was caught staring, Harry looked up at Liam who had a mixed look of admonishment and amusement on his features as he attempted to stare down the other man.

‘Just go get ready, Lou. Paul seems to think that it’s fine to blame me when you’re late just because we’re friends and that’s not the kind of association that’ll get me promoted.’ Liam’s serious tone lilted up at the edges as his friend pouted at him.

‘Well, I’m sorry, Liam. It’s not my fault I have a buzzing social life,’ he replied, before turning to leave. It was then that he realised he wasn’t alone at the bar. His forehead furrowed in curiosity before smoothing out into a charming smile that made Harry’s mind go blank for a second.

‘Well, hello there, gorgeous,’ he winked, instantly making Harry’s face flush. ‘Introduce me to your friend, Liam,’ he said, not taking his eyes off of Harry.

Liam eyed him warily before answering. ‘I actually don’t know his name. He came in with that little blonde guy over there with Eleanor, but he’d rather drink than get up close and personal with you lot it seems.’

Harry gave a small smile, feeling slightly uncomfortable under the intense gaze of the Adonis in front of him. The vodka in his system gave him the confidence he needed though and he stretched out an arm to the other guy.

‘I’m Harry. Harry Styles,’ he said, his words slurring only slightly.

The light behind the other man’s eyes brightened as he grasped his hand in his own, giving Harry only a moment to marvel at the soft skin before he chuckled.

‘Well Harry-Harry Styles, I’m Louis Tomlinson and if you hang around a bit longer, you’ll be able to see a lot more of me.’ He winked saucily, before releasing his hand and waltzing over to the door at the back and vanishing.

Slightly flustered, Harry turned back to face Liam, hoping he would take his blush as an effect of the booze. However, it seemed that the bartender was familiar with the effect Louis had on other people.

‘Bit of a flirt that one, be careful. He’s a lovely guy of course, just a bit of a social butterfly if you get what I mean.’ Catching the perplexed look on Harry’s face he added, ‘I’m not warning you off him or anything. He was the first one to make me feel welcome here, even if it was just ‘cause he wanted to get in my pants. Just… be careful. He’s friendly toward everyone. It’s part of the job, being sociable and all.’

Harry nodded, trying to ignore the deflating feeling in his stomach.

‘Excuse me for a minute,’ Liam said, throwing his dishcloth down before moving to the other side of the bar. Before Harry could ask what he was doing, he heard his voice booming over the tannoy.

‘And now, please turn your attention to the main stage. Put your hands together for the one, the only… Louis Luscious!’

Harry turned his head so fast, his neck cracked almost painfully.

Now clad in a pair of red hotpants and a white and blue striped t-shirt, Louis stood centre stage his leg hitched up seductively around a metal pole, showing off the faultless curve of his arse.

Harry was gobsmacked. No wonder he got a special announcement – this guy was breathtaking. As the music started, he could’ve sworn Louis winked cheekily in his direction, but he didn’t have long to ponder on it as the lycra clad hips started swaying teasingly behind the pole. Tanned muscular arms wound around the steel, biceps tensing enticingly as he pulled himself up so the pole sat between his bare thighs. In his mildly drunken haze, Harry couldn’t help but be jealous of the inanimate object that was pressed up against the groin he had been admiring earlier.

Totally enchanted by the way the man worked the stage, Harry didn’t realise his mouth was hanging open until Liam’s hand reached over the bar to shut it for him. He dragged his eyes away from the stage and smiled sheepishly up at the barman as though he were a naughty schoolboy.

Liam folded his arms in humour and shook his head. ‘Honestly. It’s a good job that kind of gaping is allowed in here, Mr. This-Place-Isn’t-My-Cup-Of-Tea,’ he teased.

Harry couldn’t help but laugh at that. ‘Well that was before I knew they’d be offering up that,’ he said, looking over at where Louis was now squatting and grinding on the stage, his hotpants pulled impossibly tight. Turning his attention back to Liam with great effort, he shrugged apologetically. ‘My bad.’

Liam picked up his dishcloth again and began wiping down the bar. ‘Well, if you’re enjoying that, you’ll like what’s coming next.’

Harry’s eyes widened and he twisted to face the stage again just in time as Louis pulled his t-shirt slowly over his head, tossing it into the crowd as he ran his other hand through his hair.

This time Harry felt his jaw drop. There wasn’t a single flaw on this man. His body was perfectly bronzed, lean but soft, the gentle definitions of his abs accentuated as he undulated against the pole. Harry’s jeans tightened involuntarily and he turned away before he had a bigger problem on his hands.

‘I’m going to need another shot, barkeep.’


	2. Chapter 2

Harry hung around the bar for roughly 20 minutes after Louis’s set had finished, but it appeared the tease had somewhere better to be. With a reluctant goodbye to Liam, he grabbed an unwilling Niall and caught them a taxi back to his flat.

As his friend rambled on about how perfect every woman in the club was, Harry’s mind stayed firmly on the man in the red hotpants. He tried to listen to Niall’s description of ‘the jubbliest boobs he had ever seen’, but he just couldn’t shake Louis from his head and it bothered him. It wasn’t the fact that he was male – Harry had always known he swung both ways and if anything, the slight effeminacy of Louis’s features drew him in deeper. It was more Liam’s warning that made him wary. He knew it wouldn’t be a good idea to become too invested in someone who took their clothes off for a living, but the vodka and testosterone in his bloodstream seemed ignorant of this.

He sighed out loud, making Niall stop mid-sentence and turn to look at him on the sofa.

‘What’s the matter with you? If you’re about to complain, then it’s your own fault for just sitting chatting to the bloody barman all night.’

Harry shook his head, vision blurring slightly as he did.

‘He was a good lad actually,’ he said, rolling his eyes when Niall waggled his eyebrows. ‘Not like that, you twat. And besides, I did interact with one of the strippers. His name was Louis,’ he said, the name rolling off his tongue as a dreamy look passed over his face.

Niall smirked – it hadn’t gone unnoticed.

‘Oh, I see. Taken a shine to the headline act. Fine taste, Haz.’

‘Oh, shut up,’ he huffed, standing up and swaying a little. ‘And let yourself out while you’re at it.’

‘That’s a nice way to treat your best friend,’ Niall grumbled. ‘Kicking me out without even a goodbye.’

Harry nudged him out of his way as he climbed the stairs to his room. Niall didn’t need to know that it was because he was going to have an alcohol-induced, guilt-free wank over a man he barely knew.

-

It took all of about two days for Harry’s resolve to crack.

Working in a bakery had its perks, but now all the free time only meant his mind would wander to the gyrating hips of a certain male stripper and getting horny around a load of phallic shaped pastries left him only one choice.

Rationalising with himself that Wednesday was called ‘humpday’ for a reason, 11pm found Harry outside Paul’s Unisex Strip Club. It was later than he had arrived with Niall, hoping that he’d be able to walk in just in time for Louis’s show. Sure enough, as he reached the door he could hear Liam’s voice on the loudspeaker calling for attention to the stage.

Taking a deep breath he stepped inside, hoping his anxiety didn’t show through the bravado he was attempting to exude. Unfortunately, the opening of the door seemed to catch the attention of nearly everyone in the club, including Louis who paused momentarily in his grinding, recognition flickering across his face.

Harry gulped at the sight of him, now frozen in a seductive thrust with lycra that left nothing to the imagination. Clearing his throat awkwardly, he scooted toward the bar, relief washing over him as Louis turned his focus back to his movements.

When Liam saw Harry coming he gave a genial wave and poured him a vodka shot ready, making Harry smile at the familiarity as he sat down in the same barstool he had occupied just two nights ago.

‘I wondered if I’d be seeing you back here again,’ Liam beamed, clearly glad that he’d have some company.

‘What can I say, I came back for the conversation,’ Harry replied cheekily, though his eyes had already turned to where Louis was now skilfully hanging upside down from the pole, the muscles in his thighs pulled taut. ‘Jesus,’ he muttered, downing the shot.

Liam chortled knowingly, placing another shot in front of him. ‘Yeah, I’m definitely the reason you came back.’

Harry blushed but kept his eyes trained on Louis, enraptured by his erotic fluidity. He could have sworn Louis caught his eye more than just a few times, but he tried to keep the fluttering in his stomach under control – it was just part of his job.

His eyes were glued to Louis’ bum as he bent to collect the money thrown on stage by eager patrons, and only turned back to Liam after he had disappeared behind the curtain.

‘Where does he go when he’s finished?’ he asked, trying to keep his tone casual but the gruffness in his voice giving away his true state.

‘Hell knows with Louis. He might leave out the back or get sucked off in the toilets for all I know,’ Liam said, his tone light if not slightly disapproving.

Harry hoped he wasn’t being entirely serious, but he couldn’t come up with a comment that wouldn’t make him sound disappointed. Instead, he strained a laugh and made a big show of stretching and yawning. ‘Well, I’d better be off.’

‘Oh, I see how it is. As soon as the show’s over you’re up and gone,’ Liam said, smirking. ‘You were barely here for half an hour!’

Harry smiled a little, the situation being slightly reminiscent of kicking Niall out on the Monday, but he couldn’t deny the reason he came here.

‘A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do, Liam,’ he replied wryly, pulling on his coat.

‘Aww, come on,’ Liam whined, drawing his thick eyebrows together. ‘Do you have any idea how rarely I get to say something other than ‘do you want ice with that?’ or ‘welcome Louis and his big cock to the stage’?’

That was an image hard to shake from Harry’s mind – literally. He cleared his throat and adjusted his trousers subtly.

‘Sorry, mate. Got work tomorrow and those buns won’t ice themselves.’

‘Oh, I bet,’ Liam said cheekily. ‘Well, I can imagine I’ll be seeing you in next to no time.’

Harry just waved as he walked off, turning up his collar before stepping out into the cold night.

Of course, Liam was right.

-

‘Where did you go the other night?’

Harry choked on his orange juice. It wasn’t that he was totally ashamed of visiting the strip club again, he just didn’t want to face Niall’s mocking over what was clearly a hunt for something for the wank bank.

‘I just went out for a drink,’ he replied, hoping he wouldn’t be pressed for details.

Luckily, breakfast was one of Niall’s favourite times of day, so he wasn’t keen to waste time talking. He gave a noncommittal shrug and crammed another piece of toast into his mouth.

Harry sighed in relief and finished his eggs before taking his plate over to the sink to wash up.

‘Why do you insist on coming over for breakfast when you know I have work in the morning, you pesky leprechaun?’ he asked, as his friend dumped his own plate on the pile, before reaching for a packet of crisps.

‘Because mealtime is family time, Harry! And seeing as my family aren’t here, you’re the closest thing I’ve got,’ Niall grinned, but Harry picked up on the slight dejection.

Harry knew it was sometimes still hard on Niall living so far away from home, having moved over from Ireland a few years ago for a job offer. He was well paid and had settled in comfortably, but loneliness often had him meandering from his own flat down the hall to Harry’s, where he would impose his boisterous yet infectious personality upon him.

Harry pulled his best friend into a one armed hug and placed a platonic kiss in his fluffy blonde hair.

‘I do love you, Nialler. I’ll see you after work and we can go get a pint, yeah?’ he offered, smiling as his friend’s eyes lit up.

‘Or we could go back to that strip club!’ he said eagerly. ‘I swear one of those girls is into me!’

Harry felt momentarily flustered at the mention of the place but quickly regained himself.

‘It’s all part of their job, mate,’ he said, echoing the barman’s words, but feeling bad when Niall’s puppy-face fell. ‘But yeah, we can go there later if it’s what your heart truly desires, you little pervert,’ he added, elbowing him playfully.

Niall beamed at him, seeming to fizz with excitement.

‘Yeah, buddy! You might even get another look at that Hughie guy if you’re lucky.’

‘It’s Lou-,’ he started, but stopped himself. The encroaching day of kneading bread and impatient customers was tiring just to think about, and he didn’t have the energy for any of Niall’s jibes. ‘Yeah, maybe. I’ll meet you back here at 9 so we can have a few beers before heading out, alright?’

Niall nodded emphatically and let himself be shuffled out the door, his rendition of Rebecca Black’s ‘Friday’ following Harry as he set off in the other direction down the hall.

He couldn’t shake the feeling that things would get interesting tonight.


	3. Chapter 3

Harry had to pull himself together – he had been in the bathroom of the club for about ten minutes now and Niall would be getting worried. He snorted at the thought, the more likely situation being that Niall was too busy perving on a half-naked woman right now. But still, he needed to gain control.

He looked up from the sink to the cracked mirror in front of him. His reflection was slightly hazy from whatever residue clung there as well as the alcohol that was in his bloodstream. It wasn’t just vodka that was pumping around his system though.

He and Niall had arrived at the strip club much later than they had intended after getting caught up in beer and FIFA, and had stepped in just as the peripheral lights were dimming. Even though he had missed Liam’s announcement Harry knew what was coming next, tripping over his own feet to get to the bar so he wouldn’t miss the start of the show. Niall had stared after him in amusement before making a beeline for the brunette he had spent Monday pining over, already pulling out the fivers from his pocket.

Harry’s foggy brain didn’t have time to twig the increased proportion of women in the crowd or the change in music before what happened next. He nearly toppled off of his stool in shock as the spotlight turned on to reveal that instead of his leg being wrapped around the pole, Louis’s thigh was pressed up against the groin of a mixed-race man wearing equally skin tight black hotpants. 

And both of them were topless. 

There was no denying that the new addition was attractive – gorgeous, even – his dark features making him appear naturally brooding as he smouldered against Louis. He had two tattoos high on his chest and one that sat teasingly low in the dip between his hip bone and abs, drawing attention instantly.

Harry gawped as Louis pressed his lips softly to the other man’s cheek, before they both gyrated in time with the music until they were side on to the audience. A strange mix of unrighteous jealousy and lust bubbled in Harry’s stomach as he watched Louis’s tanned chest press up against the tattooed skin that undulated against him in return. Their groins met tauntingly before pushing off of each other again, hands gripping hips for leverage. 

He wasn’t sure how long he watched for, but he soon found himself where he was now, in the bathroom. He regretted the pre-drinking now as the alcohol fought in his body to make a man out of him, either by knocking the dark guy to the ground or by grabbing the nearest stranger and screwing them until he no longer pulsed with desire.

He thumped his fist down on the sink in an attempt to release some tension, but the pain only aggravated him further. Harry was beyond frustrated in more than one manner of the word. Sexual frustration was the first and foremost, but it was clinging to the edges of the second which was directed toward himself – how could he feel so possessive over someone he had barely said three words to? Sure, Louis had perhaps flirted with him a little bit, and the thought made him glow, but Liam had warned him about his behaviour. 

Harry wasn’t special, he was just another punter.

He closed his eyes and tried to hammer this thought into his mind, but it only succeeded in drilling Louis further in – and what Harry would give to be drilling Louis – so much so that he didn’t notice the bathroom door open and close behind him.

‘Well, hello there.’

He whirled around so fast he nearly threw himself off balance, as he came face to face with the man who had driven him in here in the first place – still topless. Lowered inhibitions had his eyes immediately drawn to where the waistband of his boxers was visible above his jogging bottoms, pulled taut against the golden flesh. His eyes wandered upward, tracing the light trail of hair to where it disappeared amongst the subtle definition of his stomach, before reappearing in a light spattering on his chest. He swallowed dryly as he found the collarbones that were almost begging to be kissed until he finally let his gaze fall upon Louis’s face. There was a smirk playing on his lips and a mischievous glint in his eyes as he stared steadily back at Harry. 

‘Harry, right?’ he said, his tone ripe with amusement.

It was as if the rasp in his voice was made to speak his name and Harry couldn’t help his insides from leaping. He could feel his cheeks flame even more at the thought of Louis actually remembering who he was and his mind became a mess of fluff and fuzz.

‘H-harry?’ he repeated stupidly, immediately feeling like punching himself in the face.

A look of confusion coloured Louis’s features momentarily.

‘You are Harry, aren’t you? You came in here on Monday night. And Wednesday night come to think of it. Becoming a bit of a regular, aren’t you?’ Louis grinned playfully, taking a step closer to the sinks.

Harry couldn’t keep a single coherent thought in his head long enough to string together a sentence and instead just nodded, his eyes dropping back down to the bare torso as it approached him.

‘Cat got your tongue, Curly?’

At the nickname, Harry spluttered back into life.

‘Curly?’ 

Louis let out a laugh that was far too melodic for a man, but then again that seemed to be the general consensus with him. 

‘How could I forget such spectacular hair?’ Louis replied, stepping even closer to ruffle the unruly locks that lay messily on Harry’s head. It was such a small action and yet he tingled all over, starting at his scalp and travelling down his spine before coiling very tightly in his lower stomach.

He smiled weakly in return, unsure whether he wanted this exchange to end immediately or draw out for as long as possible.

‘So did you enjoy tonight’s show?’ Louis asked conversationally, not moving back from the close proximity he had attained. His breath was warm and sweet-smelling as it swept over Harry’s face, intoxicating him.

‘Urr, yeah. Really good,’ Harry managed, battling the distraction of having such tempting exposed flesh so painfully within reach.

‘Oh really? If that’s so, then why did I see you scuttle out of the room barely five minutes in?’ Louis asked. His tone was still light, but a hint of something else was lurking in his expression that Harry couldn’t quite put his finger on.

He felt momentarily flattered that his absence hadn’t been overlooked, but now he was faced with one of the more awkward questions of his life. He was clueless as to how to respond, but luckily this was when the alcohol decided to rear its ugly head and make itself useful. 

‘I guess I prefer it when you’re working solo.’

The truth fell out of his mouth before he could stop it and his eyes widened at his own words. By the look on Louis’s face he was surprised as well, but smugly so. A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth as he took another step forward, leaving barely an inch of space between them. His voice dropped to a whisper as he leant forward to brush his lips lightly against Harry’s ear.

‘And why’s that, Harry?’

The shudder that ran through Harry’s body was involuntary and uncontrollable. He was sure Louis must have felt it and if he did then there was no way he could miss the heartbeat thudding violently against his ribcage. He was suddenly more aware of his body than he had ever been before, particularly conscious of the twisting above his groin.

His tongue felt too big for his mouth as he tried to form words, but before a sound could leave his lips Louis had moved that impossible bit closer so that his bare torso brushed against the skin of Harry’s arm. It was such a simple touch and yet it felt like his whole body had been set alight. He couldn’t gauge Louis’s reaction to the contact as his face was still hovering beside his own, out of sight, so he gathered whatever remaining wits he had left to reply.

‘Some might say I’m the jealous type,’ he croaked, unable to contain the desire from his voice.

The low chuckle reverberated through Harry’s whole body as hot breath danced over the skin of his neck making him go weak at the knees like a teenage girl. The sparkling blue of Louis’s eyes found his again when he pulled away, and Harry almost fell forward from the loss of contact and the eyes drawing him in. Louis ran a hand through his feathery hair before looking him up and down contemplatively and appreciatively, his stare resting on the bulge that Harry could feel growing under the intense gaze. 

Harry felt insecure under such close scrutiny, but all thoughts of covering himself fled his mind when he felt the burning of Louis’ skin through the thin fabric of his t-shirt again. The tightening in his groin became unbearable as it was met with the pressure of Louis’s toned thigh pressed against it, his legs slotting between his own. There wasn’t a chance in hell that the hardness threatening to burst free went unnoticed. The touch released the low moan that had been harbouring in his throat right into Louis’s ear, the stubble of his cheek grazing deliciously against the soft skin of Harry’s. When he felt lips close around his earlobe he thought he was going to explode, but maybe that would be quite a way to die. His breathing was coming quick and shallow when a tongue slowly slid up around the shell of his ear, curling seductively before retreating.

‘You definitely have no reason to be jealous of Zayn. But then again, jealousy makes you even sexier,’ Louis whispered hoarsely. 

Before Harry could reply, the warmth was lost and Louis was making his way back to the door, leaving him shellshocked. It was clear that the stripper was still the one in control of whatever it was that lingered between them.

‘You should come tomorrow night, I do something a little special on Saturdays,’ Louis called over his shoulder, reaching for the handle. He hesitated slightly before adding, ‘You had better be there.’ 

With a wink, he whipped from the room, leaving the air very still in his place yet humming slightly from the sexual tension that remained.

If Harry wasn’t still buzzing from the encounter and in shock from the abrupt departure, he would have laughed. There was no way he was going to miss anymore of Louis’s shows after experiencing his movements first hand, no matter how slight they had been.

It was a puzzling sensation to have his body set on fire with a scorching heat from the simple touches that simultaneously froze him in place, unable to move.

It was this conundrum that allowed for the bizarre possibility that he would still be here in the morning, though the throbbing in his boxers would soon enough motivate him to stir.

Yes, he was definitely going to be there.


	4. Chapter 4

Louis had been at this job for nearly two years now and nerves had never been an issue – until now. He wasn’t due on stage for another hour, but for the first time in his life he was actually ready to go. In the meantime, he waited in the small room that connected the back of the stage to the back exit and bar. He was aware that he could kill time by going out for a drink, but he knew that there was a chance that the object of his anxiety would be sat out there too, as much as he hated to admit it. 

A door behind him swung open suddenly and Liam staggered through with a crate of empty glass bottles. He nearly dropped it in surprise when he saw Louis stood there.

‘What the hell are you doing here?’ he asked incredulously.

‘In case you had forgotten, I do work here, babe,’ Louis replied cheekily, taking the crate out of his friend’s arms and putting it by the back door. 

Liam scrutinised him through narrowed eyes for a moment. 

‘You know what I mean, Lou. You don’t start for another hour and from past experience you’re rarely more than just on time.’

‘Well, I don’t know why you’re complaining then. There’s a first for everything,’ he replied coolly. ‘And quite frankly, I don’t appreciate you staring at me like that when I’m wearing so little.’ 

He smirked as Liam began to splutter, his eyes widening from their analytical stare.

‘W-what?! I wasn’t like – I wasn’t perving on you, Louis! You know I don’t think – I mean you’re an attractive lad – w-wait I don’t mean that in a gay way – not that there’s a-anything wrong with being gay – I-I was just – ‘ 

‘Relax! I was just kidding. Honestly, Liam, lighten up!’ Louis laughed, smacking his friend on the back.

Liam shot him a glare before making his way back out. 

‘You’re such a tosser, Lou,’ he grumbled. ‘I gotta get back to work anyway, those drinks won’t pour themselves.’

Louis stopped mid-snort, his expression now questioning.

‘Oh, yeah? Are there many people at the bar?’ he asked, trying to keep his tone casual. 

Liam turned and squinted at him suspiciously before opening the door.

‘Why do you ask?’ he replied, though he was pretty sure he had a good idea why.

‘Just wondering,’ Louis said, leaning against the wall in a would-be nonchalant fashion, if it weren’t for the way his hands had started twitching. 

Liam didn’t miss the edginess in his friend’s voice and he chuckled. 

‘See you later, mate,’ he smiled, walking out and ignoring Louis’s protests. Just before he was out of earshot he called back over his shoulder, ‘It’s just that Harry guy again!’

He didn’t look back to see the grin that broke out across his friend’s face.

 _Harry was here_.

Sure, Louis had always been a flirt, but even he didn’t make a habit of sucking on people’s earlobes when he barely knew them, at least not when sober. 

There was just something about Harry that stuck. 

When he walked into the toilets the night before he had no idea Harry would still be in there and he very nearly walked right back out again. What stopped him was the glimpse he caught of Harry’s reflection and it instilled within him the same slutty confidence that made him so good at his job. 

The look in the man’s eyes was wild, like someone who had been chained and starved for a year with a slab of meat just out of reach, and the way the green eyes had explored his body so hungrily made him feel like he was the steak Harry was after. 

It had driven him forward until he could feel every shiver that went down Harry’s spine as he pressed himself against him, savouring the effect he had on someone he barely knew. It was different to the effect he had on the crowd.

He himself wasn’t immune to what was going on – the cool brush of Harry’s arm on his exposed stomach had been so simple and yet he had to bite back a whimper. It was ridiculous. He thanked his lucky stars that his profession had taught him to control how his feelings may be displayed ‘outwardly’, and he was even gladder that Harry had no such training. 

Having a solid erection pressed against his thigh was one of Louis’s biggest turn ons, though he guessed it would be anyone’s especially if it belonged to someone as aesthetically intriguing as Harry. He couldn’t regret sucking on his earlobe after that and he had a feeling it wasn’t the most forward thing he would do concerning the guy, especially with the knowledge that dancing with Zayn had made him jealous.

Louis snorted to himself at the thought of Harry being jealous of Zayn. Sure, Zayn was hot, but they had been best friends since they were kids. They had moved in together after their A-levels, neither having enough money to go to university but enough to leave their families to seek out their own fortune. People may scorn and say that stripping for a living wasn’t something worth leaving home for, but it hadn’t been a choice. Both were strapped for cash and a trip to drown their joint sorrows wound up being in a club that had vacancies – just not the traditional waiting vacancies. After a while, it was no different to any other job and even seemed more fun than most. 

The transition had been a bit strange at first, going from playing FIFA with his best friend to grinding against him for money, but the bond between them was so strong that their friendship didn’t falter. It was something that shocked everyone else, those who seemed to think that two attractive gay men couldn’t hump and grope each other on stage without wanting to jump each other’s bones once they got back to the flat they shared. But how could they when they were pretty much brothers?

When Zayn came to Louis about six months ago telling him that he had saved enough money to drop his shifts down to once a week and take an English course, Louis was so proud. It had always been Zayn’s dream to become an English teacher and now he was actually doing something about it. Louis wished he could risk pursuing the dreams he had when he was young, but the money he earned in tips was too good to give up and the fear of rejection hung over him. At least when he wasn’t moving forward, it meant he was wholly involved in living each moment as it was – he was still happy. He even worked a few hours at the local pub in the daytime, partly for his mother who didn’t want his sole income dependent on getting naked, and partly just so he could meet new people. 

All in all, Louis led a decent life. And now that Harry had stumbled into the picture, he had a feeling it was going to get a lot better.

-

Harry had excavated his usual seat at the bar to sit amongst the crowd at one of the tables, jostling his knees impatiently. He had positioned himself in the second row so he could get a good view without being totally exposed in case he enjoyed the show too much. When Liam’s voice sounded over the loudspeaker, he shuffled forward in his seat, eager to see what was ‘a little special’ about Saturday nights. 

When the spotlight came on, Louis was stood to the side of a simple wooden chair, figure hidden by a trench coat, cut low to show his bare chest. The beat dropped and the light flicked on and off in time, darkness veiling him for a couple of seconds, with each flash of light revealing him in a different pose and with one more button undone. It was a tease. 

By the time there was only one more button to go, Harry was sure he might have to just run up on stage and tear the thing off of him. One more beat of darkness and then Louis was turned away from the crowd, peering over his shoulder seductively before letting the coat fall, soon followed by Harry’s jaw.

The coat pooled around Louis’ feet but no one was paying attention to that, everyone going wild to see him clad in just his Lycra red hotpants, clinging tight to his voluptuous arse with a stretch of elastic material pulling up and over his strong shoulders. The music was starting and Harry’s heart was racing along with it, watching in awe as Louis swayed his hips and spun around, showing his soft abs framed by the black suspenders.

As the music picked up, Louis began straddling and dancing over the chair, throwing his toned leg onto the seat before thrusting in time with the music, running his own hands all over himself. Harry’s new vantage point gave him an excellent view of everything in front of him, from the bulge that was continuously being driven in his direction to the gentle definition of the hipbones beneath the stretch of the suspenders. 

He tore his gaze away to find the face of the man gyrating in front of him and their eyes caught immediately, making Harry shaky in his perched position at the edge of his seat. The shimmering blue glinted slyly as the lips that had been pouting alluringly pulled upward in a smile aimed right at Harry, making butterflies go mad in his gut. He attempted a smile back, but Louis’s focus had already returned to his dancing as he stepped out in front of the chair making the crowd behind Harry go wild.

It was only then that he realised no one had sat at the tables in front of him, leaving him thoroughly exposed. Louis seemed to have noticed too, his eyes purposely scanning the empty front row before looking pointedly at Harry who tactically shifted his hands to cover his lap just in case.

As the tempo slowed, Louis reached up to caress his own collarbones with his fingertips, tracing along until he was pulling down the suspenders with a sway of his hips, letting them hang loosely from the waistband of his hotpants, grazing his thighs. Harry felt like he was in a trance, locked in by the slow undulations of the naturally bronze body in front of him. 

He nearly swallowed his own tongue when Louis’s hand slid down his body teasingly, stopping in front of his groin where he groped himself before suddenly pulling forward. In one swift movement, the hotpants were ripped off and the burning at the bottom of Harry’s stomach set his whole body alight. 

There, stood not 3 metres from him, was Louis in a black thong.

-

Louis didn’t miss the twitch of Harry’s leg when he removed his shorts, nor did he miss him leaning in closer. He had no idea why he had been nervous about this – this was _fun_.

Now came the best part.

He watched Harry’s eyes trace his every movement as he pulled the string of his thong slowly down his hip before pinging it back. He cast a look around the entire room to make sure he had gotten everyone’s attention before stepping down from the stage. If he wasn’t such a professional he would have laughed at the look of panic that crossed Harry’s face, but he maintained the ‘smoulder’ and began to prowl amongst the audience, purposely avoiding the one he wanted most. He could feel the green eyes burning into him wherever he went and put an extra swing into his step to really show off his assets. 

In this part of the show, he would pick on either someone who was celebrating a birthday or someone who looked particularly uncomfortable. He knew that tonight it would be the latter and he didn’t need to scope the crowd to choose who he was going to tease. He nearly choked on his spit when he saw that Harry’s gaze had dropped to his own lap to not very subtly rearrange himself, but Louis composed himself enough to take the opportunity.

When he next looked up, Louis was standing right in front of him, crotch at eye level. Harry’s pupils were blown and he released a very audible gasp that went straight to Louis’s groin – another instance he was thankful for his sense of control, even if it was very strained at the moment. The music quietened a bit, giving Louis his cue to introduce himself to the ‘stranger’.

‘Hey, gorgeous. Come here often?’ he asked in a pantomime whisper.

He watched Harry’s adam’s apple bob as he swallowed thickly before answering. 

‘Only recently,’ he mumbled, the throatiness of his voice making Louis’s hands tingle.

‘Oh, is that so? I wonder why that is,’ he replied mischievously before lunging for Harry’s hand and tugging him up. The shock of the situation seemed to have made Harry reasonably pliant as he stumbled unsteadily to his feet. 

The regulars in the crowd began whooping knowing what was coming next, but Harry’s face was now twisted in a colourful combination of confusion and embarrassment. Louis began pulling him forward toward the stage and his victim’s face paled as he realised what was about to happen.

‘L-louis, what the hell?’ he whispered urgently. 

Louis laughed as he dragged him up the steps. 

‘Just enjoy yourself, Curly,’ he said as he whirled the chair on the stage around so it was side on to the audience. With a quick shove Harry fell ungraciously onto the seat in a mess of bewildered limbs.

Louis took a moment to enjoy the suddenly sheepish guy sat in front of him blinking owlishly at the bright lights, before he signalled to Liam to turn the music back up. He winked at his friend who just stared at him in disbelief over his choice before adjusting the stereos.

As the music picked up again he ran his hand through Harry’s hair as he had done in the bathroom, keeping his eyes trained on the other man’s face. Green eyes became heavily lidded as he brought his hand down to stroke the shell of his ear before slipping down his strong neck. He felt a slight fluttering in his stomach when his fingertips traced the dip of Harry’s collarbones and he nearly forgot himself. He knew he shouldn’t be abusing his position by molesting someone who he had a crush on, but he couldn’t help it. 

Realising he was spending a bit too long on the tender ‘foreplay’ portion of the act, he moved forward until his legs were either side of the chair. Harry’s eyes shot up to meet his briefly before they dropped to roam greedily over the flesh in front of him and then lower to the bulge encased in the black material. Louis felt a slight twitch in his groin in response to the scrutiny but he reined himself in, knowing he needed to gather as much self-control for the next part. The whole point of this was for him to get Harry worked up, not the other way around.

With encouragement from the audience that he didn’t need, he slowly dropped his hips down until he was straddling Harry’s lap and began to grind gently on him, enough to build friction but not enough to cause any real damage. Harry’s lips parted in shock before clamping shut again, his teeth biting down on his lower lip to suppress the moan that Louis could almost taste. He could feel Harry harden against him through the thin material of his thong and he suddenly wished he wasn’t in a room full of people. 

Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea, considering the man beneath him being the greatest test to his will that he had ever encountered. 

He stood up slowly and turned around so that his bare arse was facing Harry and rolled his hips in time with the music, taking great pride in the sounds he heard behind him. He expertly shuffled back until he was hovering just over Harry’s lap and moved his body to the beat, dipping every now and then to feel the fabric of the trousers pulled tight across a bulge he fought hard not to think about. If he let his mind wander, it could compromise the lack of give in the pathetic piece of cloth that constituted his ‘underwear’. 

Assembling his faculties, he turned back around to face Harry. The poor guy looked like he was going to burst out of his trousers and pass out simultaneously. Louis gave a low chuckle and took pity on him motioning for Liam to fade out the music. While the crowd went fanatical in applause, he leant forward and let his lips graze the length of Harry’s ear teasingly as he had done the night before. He soaked up the groan that vibrated through the slender body before whispering to him. 

‘I’m glad you’re here.’


	5. Chapter 5

‘How did I know I’d find you in here?’

Harry wasn’t surprised that Louis had sought him out after the show, but now he was regretting not locking himself in one of the cubicles. He tried to make it seem like it was perfectly natural to be in a public toilet with a raging hard-on, but he couldn’t stop the flush rising when Louis purposefully rested his gaze on his crotch. 

This situation felt all too familiar and he was just as unprepared as the night before.

‘I guess you enjoyed the show then,’ Louis said when he finally looked him in the eye. 

There was no denying the smugness in his voice and Harry wasn’t sure how to respond – then again, his body was doing enough talking anyway.

He opened his mouth in the hope that some kind of witty retort would fall out, but Louis once again beat him to it, doing all the talking as usual.

‘Listen, I don’t know about you, but I don’t really fancy getting to know someone in a skanky toilet.’

Harry was distracted from the throbbing in his pants by the sudden fluttering in his stomach at Louis’s subtle suggestion. It was the same sensation he had at the start of his ‘private performance’ when Louis was caressing him almost affectionately, from the roots of his curls to the bottom of his neck. The passion inside him calmed to a warm buzz as a coy smile tugged at his lips. 

‘You want to get to know me?’ 

Louis‘s charming laugh rang around the room and Harry felt his face get hot again.

‘I thought I made that pretty clear last night, Curly,’ Louis said, his words lilting up at the edges as he beamed at him.

The pet name made Harry’s heart skip a beat and the smile shining at him dissipated his nerves. Louis’ genuine interest in him was thrilling – he wasn’t just a punter or someone to press up against. He didn’t doubt that there was some level of physical attraction and sexual tension between them, but Louis’ impish smile intrigued more than just his sex drive. He wanted to know more, especially after the way Louis had brushed his fingertips against his skin as though he were a china doll he was afraid of breaking. 

Then again… it could just be a ploy. Liam had warned him about Louis after all, but Harry never really thought of himself as the kind of guy who had people coming up with elaborate plans just to have sex with him. He really couldn’t decipher Louis’ angle because Harry just wasn’t anything special.

‘Why?’

Louis looked taken aback at his question and the smile slid off of his face, replaced by an uncertainty that Harry had never seen before. He seemed to shrink back as the confidence fell away from him and it only made Harry more curious – how much of Louis was a façade? 

‘If I’m honest, I don’t know,’ Louis shrugged with a half smile. ‘As cheesy as it sounds, there’s just something about you, Harry.’

Harry’s heart swelled at Louis’ shy words, unsure yet sincere. It was hard to imagine that the man stood timidly in front of him was the same one who had so boldly paraded around a room in just a thong twenty minutes ago.

‘Louis, I-‘

‘Ah, shit I knew it! Sorry, I’ve been such a twat. Fuck. I just thought maybe, but I suppose it’s just ‘cause of my job, shit I’m sorry. No worries. I mean I-‘  
‘Louis!’ Harry tried to interject, a little surprised by the sudden babbling, but Louis seemed to have gone off on one.

‘I mean, I know my job makes people feel like that and I just thought maybe – I mean you were nice. Sorry, I’ll leave you alo-‘.

‘Louis!’

Louis looked up startled, stopping mid-ramble and staring at him with wide eyes. Harry sighed in relief and took a step closer.

‘Louis, I was just going to say that I’d love to get to know you.’ He gently removed Louis’s hands from where they had been wringing through his feathery hair and dropped them at his sides, his own fingers tingling from the touch. 

Louis blinked at him, bewildered. ‘Really?’ 

He looked so nervous and Harry couldn’t help but feel that the tables had turned in the last few minutes.  
It was amusing in a bizarre way and he let out a short laugh, but quickly regained his composure when he saw a flash of hurt cross Louis’s face.

‘Sorry, it’s just… this is new for me,’ he said truthfully. 

‘What is? Getting hit on? I can hardly believe that,’ Louis replied, furrowing his brow. ‘I mean, look at you.’ To make his point, he let his eyes rove over Harry’s body as he moved forward.

Suddenly feeling self conscious, Harry wished he had chosen something a bit nicer to wear instead of just jeans and a t-shirt. He undeniably paled in comparison to Louis.

‘I-I-I mean, I’ve had people come on to me b-but no one… no one like you,’ he stuttered, trying not to lose his cool completely.

‘Someone like me? As in a stripper?’

‘No! No, no, I mean, well… someone as, well, someone as good as you. You’re too good,’ Harry replied lamely, dropping his gaze to his feet. 

Three beats of his heart passed before he heard movement across from him and another pair of shoes came into view. He looked up to see Louis standing very close to him, just as close as he had been the night before, watching him intently as though determined to prove something. 

It would have been déjà vu, but this time Harry was sober and instead of being blinded by lust, he was able to drink in every perfect detail of the guy in front of him. He could pick out every eyelash that brushed Louis’s cheeks as he blinked. He could see how the lighting distinguished the flecks of blue as he maintained silent and steady eye contact with him. He was so preoccupied with following every line and curve of Louis’s face that he didn’t notice the hand that was coming up to stroke his own.

He gasped as he felt the gentle hand trace his jaw delicately before drawing across his chin and tugging lightly on his bottom lip. He couldn’t stop his attention from falling to the perfectly parted mouth opposite him, exhaling sweetness and warmth over his senses. The beautiful face leant closer and his heart rate quickened. He let his eyes fall shut, half expecting to feel lips on his, but instead came tender brushes across the soft skin of his closed eyelids. The hand continued to caress the entire canvas of his face softly, his eyes only fluttering open when it fell away. The harsh lighting of the bathroom was a brutal contrast to what he had just experienced.

And Louis hadn’t moved away from him.

‘Tell me again why this is new to you,’ he whispered.

Harry’s mind was foggy, but he eventually remembered the conversation that had led to this.

‘Because you’re too good for me,’ he mumbled, still mesmerised by the man facing him.

‘But tell me how you feel right now.’

Harry paused, slightly confused, but he answered truthfully.

‘Amazing.’

‘Exactly,’ Louis breathed.  
-  
Harry stared into his drink as he sat alone at the strange bar. After the intimacy of the bathroom, he felt quite lonely, especially as Louis had simply pulled away from him after their last somewhat cryptic conversation. He shifted on his stool and tapped impatiently on the side of his bottle.

‘Miss me?’

The voice behind him made him jump as the familiar figure slid onto the seat beside him.

‘You were only in the bathroom,’ Harry replied cautiously, though the warmth that rushed from his fingers to his toes was a pretty clear indication.

‘Ha, didn’t deny it though!’ Louis exclaimed, wiggling his eyebrows comically before ordering himself a drink.

Harry was finding it hard to keep up with Louis’s personality – one minute he would be overwhelmingly sexy and the next he would be so soothing and considerate, but before he could mellow into him he would be a buzzing ball of energy bouncing off of the walls. But he loved it. He could get totally lost in this guy and he barely knew him.

‘So, Curly, tell me about yourself,’ Louis said playing with the straw that sat in his drink.

Harry’s mind went blank. ‘Not much to tell. Why don’t you start?’

Louis cocked his head to one side and pulled his lips together, fixing him with a disapproving look.  
‘Because you already know more about me than I know about you. In fact, all I know is your name and that you’re easily excitable!’

Harry choked on his mouthful of beer and was ready to protest, but stopped when he saw the rascally expression plastered on Louis’ elfin face. He rolled his eyes in mock disdain. 

‘You’re a twat, Lou.’ The abbreviation rolled off of his tongue before he could stop it. He hoped Louis wouldn’t mind but it seemed he didn’t even notice.

‘Right back at cha, babe,’ Louis quipped with a wink. ‘How about you tell me what you do?’

‘I work in a bakery,’ he replied, chuckling when he saw Louis’s eyes light up.

‘Really? Oh wow, you might just be the best friend I’ve ever made.’

‘Friend? If this is how you treat your friends then I should have abandoned Niall a long time ago,’ he replied, attempting a seductive wiggle where he sat in a mockery of how Louis had danced on him on stage.

Louis smirked. ‘Welcome to my world.’

They sat in comfortable silence for a few moments as they each sipped from their drinks.

‘So, h-‘ Louis began, but he stopped short when Harry burst into giggles. ‘What?’ he said, looking affronted.

‘Sorry, it’s just I knew you’d be the one to break the silence. It’s like you do all the talking with us.’

‘Ah, so there’s an ‘us’ is there?’ Louis said, raising an eyebrow and flipping the conversation once again.

A pink tinge stained Harry’s cheeks and he coughed awkwardly as Louis watched in amusement.

‘Relax, Curly! I’m just kidding. Tell me more about yourself first and then we can discuss if there is an ‘us’.’

Harry panicked slightly. What was he meant to tell him? He was pretty boring really and he didn’t want to push Louis away. Well, there had been some drama in his life, but it wasn’t something he liked to bring up.

Fortunately, Louis sensed his reluctance and gave him a cue. ‘Well, seeing as you’ve already mentioned him, why don’t you start with Niall?’

The tension left Harry’s shoulders. This he could do.

‘He moved over from Ireland to the flat just down the corridor from mine a few years ago and we’ve been best friends since. The first time I met him was on the day he arrived and he came knocking asking if I had any cereal for his milk,’ Harry reminisced. 

‘You mean milk for his cereal?’

‘You’d think, but no,’ Harry laughed. ‘That kind of defines our friendship now though – he’s always round my place eating me out of house and home, but that’s why I love him.’

‘Sounds like my kind of guy! I’d like to meet him one day.’

‘You want to meet my friends?’ Harry asked, surprised.

‘Of course I do. Why wouldn’t I? Unless you think I’m being too forward or something, but friends meet friends, right?’

It felt like his ribcage was going to burst. He had known this guy for less than a week and he was already interested in meeting the people in his life, something not even his past boyfriends wanted to do. Then again, he hadn’t had many at all.

‘And maybe further down the line I could meet your family,’ Louis continued sounding hopeful.

Shit.

That might be a problem.


	6. Chapter 6

‘No one meets my family.’

Louis was shocked by the unfamiliar cold edge to Harry’s voice and shrank back on his stool. Harry’s head was bowed and his curls hung over his face, masking his expression and whatever repulsion Louis dreaded to think lurked there. He mentally stumbled and tried to repair whatever damage he had caused.

‘I-I’m sorry, Harry. I didn’t mean to sound so forward, obviously you don’t have to introduce me to anyone. I was only joking really anyway, oh god, I hope I didn’t creep you out. I’m not a weirdo or anything I promise. Unless I offended you or something, shit, I’m so sorry. I just meant, I mean it doesn’t matter, but I’m sorry...’ He couldn’t have already dashed his chance of building a real relationship with someone, though maybe it was a good thing when the guy made him so nervous. 

When Harry still didn’t respond he turned back around to face the bar and tried to keep his emotions under control. It was one thing to be trained to manage himself ‘physically’, but Louis had always been one to wear his heart on his sleeve and it was his one true weakness. He felt utterly ridiculous when the lump began to rise in his throat – he barely knew this guy for Christ’s sake. He raked his hands roughly through his hair, trying to pull away the sudden desperation that was inching its way through his veins, speckled with mild confusion.

Louis was on the verge of leaving when the warmth returned to the air as a soft voice spoke.

‘I’m sorry, Lou.’

He turned to see beseeching eyes staring right back at him, vulnerability written all over the flawless face. Louis wanted nothing more than to wrap him up in his arms, but he was still somewhat bewildered by how the mood had flipped.

‘You have no reason to be sorry, I obviously stepped over the line somehow…’ He trailed off in the hope that Harry would provide an explanation.

‘It wasn’t what you said, I promise you that,’ Harry stated, before throwing back the rest of his beer. ‘I just have some… issues that I need to work through, I guess.’

‘Like commitment issues?’ 

‘No, no! I have no problem with being in a… a relationship,’ he said bashfully. 

Butterflies erupted in Louis’ stomach at the prospect, but they died down when he realised that Harry was staring down glumly at his empty beer bottle. Too scared to speak again, he waited until Harry broke the silence himself. When he did, his voice had dropped to a whisper and Louis almost didn’t catch it.

‘I haven’t seen my family in over three years.’ 

Louis’ eyes bugged in surprise. Despite the distance, he never went longer than a month or two without going home to spend time with his mum and sisters. His chest hurt just thinking about not seeing their faces for three whole years. 

‘Why?’

Harry sighed deeply and lifted his face to look him in the eye, unshed tears glistening over green, fragile and beautiful. He seemed so much younger than the first time Louis had met him and he almost wanted to look away, but he was being drawn in. Perfect lips parted and shamed words fell out hopelessly.

‘They hate me.’ 

If he didn’t sound so sad and defeated, Louis would have interjected to accuse him of over-exaggerating, but he couldn’t bring himself to say anything. He kept quiet, unsure if Harry was going to carry on with his story or not, but not wanting to rush him. 

When he didn’t speak again for a full minute, Louis tossed the dice and reached out to place a reassuring hand on the crook of his elbow. 

‘We don’t have to talk about this if you don’t want to, Harry,’ he said softly, trying to ignore his own maddening curiosity. 

Harry heaved another sigh. ‘No, it’s okay. It’s no big deal really. In fact, it’s mostly my fault. I probably should’ve gone back at some point to check on things, but I didn’t fancy being kicked out again.’

‘You’ve been kicked out?’ Louis asked incredulously. ‘But why?’

‘Because of who I am, I guess. My stepdad found out I was gay and the only thing stopping him from beating me to a pulp was the fact my mum was there. So instead, he told me to get the fuck out and when my mum didn’t fight for me, I left. Her and my sister were too scared to stand up to him so I don’t really blame them for not doing anything. I just blame myself for not getting them out of there too. He was a bastard.’ 

The protectiveness that surged over Louis left fire in its wake. The anger he felt toward this stepdad bubbled vehemently, but he was also baffled by how someone could just watch as someone forced their child out to fend for themselves. He swallowed both emotions with difficulty.

‘How old were you?’

Harry ran his long fingers through his unruly hair. ‘Eighteen.’

‘Oh, Harry. I’m so sorry.’ It seemed stupid to apologise, but he felt like someone should.

‘Don’t worry about it. I got on the first train and ended up here in London. I had to stay in a few hostels at first which was a bit rough, but luckily I found the bakery just when someone was dropping out and eventually got put into a more managerial role, still nothing much. Once I worked up enough hours, I managed to get myself a flat. Not long after that, Niall came knocking and life hasn’t been too bad ever since.’

Louis could tell he was trying to inject as much cheeriness as he could into the end, but you would have to be completely brain dead to miss the falsity. He shifted his stool closer and wrapped an arm around his shoulders, feeling them tremble slightly before relaxing. 

‘I haven’t even spoken to them over the phone ‘cause I had to leave my mobile behind and basically just start a whole new life. And for all I know, they don’t even want to talk to me. I left without even asking what my mum and sister thought about me being gay. I left without even hugging them or telling them that I love them and that I know it’s not their fault,’ he said brokenly. ‘I left without even hearing them tell me that they still love me.’ 

Louis could hear the thickness in his voice and shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He was bad enough at keeping his own emotions in check so he had no idea how he would handle things if Harry started crying. Harry felt the awkward movement at his side and seemed to realise how heavy the discussion had become, clearing his throat before wiping his hands roughly across his eyes.

‘Jesus, sorry. Enough of that for the day, yeah? I think it’s your turn to share.’

Louis eyed him carefully for a moment, assessing how likely he was to break down. When he saw that some of the light had returned to his eyes he removed his arm from around him and allowed his mind to wander as Harry ordered himself another beer. He was glad he had a happier story to tell.

‘Well, I moved down here after my A Levels with my best friend to get a taste of the independent lifestyle. Our parents weren’t totally happy with the idea, but they let us go and they still send us boxes of food every now and then,’ he said, laughing fondly as he thought of the large container of digestive biscuits and tomato soup he had received the other day. ‘It’s quite handy really. Turns out moving to London when you’re near to piss poor isn’t quite the good idea you initially think it is. We had each other though and I’m glad for it – he’s like my brother. He’s doing an English course now so he can become a teacher, but he still works with me once a week and-‘

He was cut off by a loud spluttering as Harry choked on his mouthful of beer.

‘Wait! Your best friend is Zayn? The guy you practically had sex on stage with is like your _brother_?’

Louis wasn’t surprised by Harry’s reaction, but he still burst out laughing at how openly he gaped at him. 

‘One and the same, Curly,’ he giggled.

Harry’s eyes stayed wide looking thoroughly gobsmacked.

‘So I guess that really is how you treat your friends,’ he muttered dumbfounded. ‘Isn’t that, like, weird?’

‘Nah, not anymore, we got used to it. We sort of had to seeing as we had no other way of getting money in our pockets. But like I said, he’s dropped his shifts down now so he can do this course. We get shit loads in tips and stuff so I could do the same really…’ He tapered off abruptly, praying that Harry wouldn’t question him.

Luck was not on his side.

‘Oh, yeah? What course do you want to do?’

The innocent interest in Harry’s voice almost had the words rolling off of his tongue, but he bit his lip to keep it in. He knew what Harry would say. He’d find it ridiculous that someone like Louis had such aspirations, that it was so far from what he was doing with himself now that there was no way he had the capability to follow it through.

‘Lou?’

Damn. He hated how sweetly the pet name sounded coming from Harry’s lips. 

He looked over to see green eyes watching him curiously and he instantly felt guilty for keeping something that seemed so trivial in comparison to what Harry had shared with him.

‘Promise not to laugh?’ he begged timidly.

Harry’s eyebrows knotted together before he nodded fervently, leaning in closer as Louis steeled himself.

‘Well, I guess if I got the chance, I’d want to be a uh… a drama teacher.’

Now that he said it, it felt a bit anticlimactic and by the expression on Harry’s face, he thought so too.

‘A drama teacher? Is that it?’

Louis felt slightly offended. ‘What do you mean by that?’

‘No, no, I didn’t mean it like that!’ he said, holding his hands up in defence. ‘Just, you seemed a bit hesitant so I thought you were going to say that you wanted to be an astronaut or something.’

‘Oh. Sorry,’ he murmured, eyes cast downward.

‘Hey, why are you so protective over this?’ Harry asked, shuffling even closer.

Louis breathed deeply, inhaling the masculine scent that was becoming familiar to him. A sense of calm drifted over him and he felt the trust settle between them.

‘I don’t know. I mean, look at what I’m doing now,’ he said gesturing at his body. ‘What school is going to want to hire me? Who’s even going to want to enrol me on a course? I’d probably just give up anyway,’ he said dejectedly.

‘Don’t think like that, Lou. As long as you get the qualifications, then they can’t say no to you! Personally, I think you’d be a brilliant teacher and kids would love you. You’d be great, babe.’

Louis’ head snapped up at the endearment and he suddenly felt lighter. A pink tinge appeared on Harry’s cheeks as he realised what he said, but he maintained the steady eye contact.

‘Thanks, Harry,’ Louis said quietly. ‘Well, maybe one day then.’

‘There’s a good lad,’ he smiled, rubbing his back soothingly not knowing that the touch was burning holes through his thin t-shirt.

‘I think it’s your turn now, Curly,’ Louis said, trying to distract himself.

‘Oh, yeah? Shoot,’ Harry challenged.

Louis’ face flashed mischievously before turning mortally serious as he looked him dead in the face.

‘What’s your favourite colour?’

-

The rest of the evening passed in an enjoyable blur, childhood stories mingled with silly facts about themselves flying between them until the bartender finally kicked them out. Louis insisted on walking Harry back to his flat, adamant that ‘a pretty boy like you could get hurt’. Harry had protested at first, but had to admit that it felt nice to have someone looking after him for the first time it what felt like ages. 

The light atmosphere grew thicker with every step toward his front door and soon the gaps in their conversation extended until they were walking in silence. Harry wasn’t sure what was expected of him, but he knew what he wanted to happen. If he could have things his way, Louis would shove him up against the wall and dry hump him until they were forced to take things inside to finish up properly. 

Once he was stood on his doormat with Louis just a step away, he pulled out his keys. He was just about to turn around to begin the goodbyes, when he felt a strong arm pull him back. His heart thudded rapidly at the thought of his fantasy coming true, but instead all he felt was a gentle kiss that left him breathless all the same.

‘I hope you weren’t expecting me to just follow you in there, Curly,’ Louis whispered huskily, his lips brushing against Harry’s.

‘N-no,’ he stuttered, fighting the urge to ram himself closer.

‘Good. I may look like a slut at times, but believe it or not I have self-respect,’ he admonished lightly, catching Harry’s lip between his teeth, eliciting a quiet moan. ‘Then again… I hate to disappoint.’

Before Harry registered what he had said, Louis forced him bodily up against his own doorframe, hands firmly gripping his narrow hips and kissing him hungrily. Harry’s body came alive with fierce energy and his hands sought greedily to grope the perfectly round arse that he had admired from day one. 

He pulled Louis in closer and their lower bodies connected with a loud moan, the defined flesh beneath their jeans hardening in record time. Louis’ mouth dropped to his neck, stubble abusing the sensitive skin there, making Harry’s cock throb. He pushed his groin forward desperate for friction, not disappointed when Louis started grinding against him in time with the hot breaths that panted against his neck. 

One hand released Louis’ arse to pull his flushed face back toward his own so he could taste him again, still maintaining the rhythm against the solid length that pressed into him. The pressure was already building in his groin and he knew that if they didn’t take this somewhere else, they would have a very messy situation on their hands. He pulled his mouth away to suggest moving things inside, but before he could speak a finger pressed itself to his lips.

‘Not tonight, Harry,’ Louis whispered, his voice breathy and raw. His pupils were blown lustfully as he looked him dead in the eye before carefully removing himself.

Harry watched in a daze as Louis artfully rearranged himself and placed a chaste kiss to his cheek that would have been innocent if it weren’t for what they had been doing not two minutes before. 

‘Maybe I’ll see you at the club next week,’ he winked before sauntering off, the sway of his hips less casual as he struggled to accommodate his erection in his tight jeans.

Harry was once again left stunned – Louis was like the bloody weather.

He waited a few minutes just in case Louis came running back down the corridor to have his way with him, but to no avail. He let out a shaky breath and let himself into his flat, allowing his wobbly legs to take him to the sofa before collapsing.

Fucking hell. 

That guy was such an agonising tease, but god it had felt so good to finally feel his mouth on him, even if it was a bit further north of where he had been imagining these past few nights.

Speaking of which…

He checked that the key was in the door, knowing that he had a habit of leaving it unlocked, and then unzipped his jeans and shimmied them down to his ankles. The outline of his hard cock was clear through his tight boxers and he palmed himself leisurely through the thin material before realising that Louis had left him in a state that definitely deserved something more than a half-arsed wank.

Too drained to move any more, he unbuttoned his underwear and pulled his heady length through the opening, moaning softly as it met the cool air of his living room. He knew he wouldn’t last long after their encounter and he didn’t bother trying to slow down, pumping himself firmly. He closed his eyes and imagined that it was Louis’ lithe fingers working on him and he groaned aloud, his fist speeding up on the hot flesh. He dropped his other hand down to roll his balls slowly until the coil in his stomach became too tight for him to bear and, with one last thrust up into his own hand, he spilled his load onto his t-shirt shamelessly.

Knowing but not caring that he would regret it in the morning, Harry swivelled onto his side and immediately fell into a deep sleep, dotted by vibrant dreams of a certain half naked man using him as a stripper pole.


	7. Chapter 7

‘Don’t drool, I only just polished.’

Louis snapped out of his daydream where he sat perched at the bar to see Liam watching him amusedly. He raised a hand to his mouth to see if he had actually lost control of any saliva, but it came away dry and he sent his friend a scathing look.

‘Shove off, Liam.’ 

Liam snorted at him before picking up a glass he had already polished three times that night. 

‘So who were you thinking about?’ he asked, laughing aloud when his friend’s eyes widened comically.

‘What makes you think it was a ‘who’ and not a ‘what’?’

‘Oh, I don’t know, Mr Defensive,’ Liam replied, in a mocking tone. ‘Maybe it’s something to do with the fact I saw you leave here Saturday night with Harry. Or maybe it’s because the first thing you asked me when you got here early _again_ , was if any of our regulars were in.’

Louis searched around for a response, coming up short.

‘Well, we do have regulars,’ he said feebly.

Liam raised a thick eyebrow.

‘The last time I checked, the only regulars we get are horny middle aged women and pervy old men and I doubt you’d be keen enough to ask if any of them were in. But now that you mention it, we do have a customer who has only very recently become a regular.’

Louis willed his cheeks not to flush, but he could feel the heat rising. He ducked his head down, knowing he wasn’t fooling anyone.

‘Oh come on, Lou, just admit you were thinking about that curly haired mystery man of yours.’

‘He’s not my mystery man,’ he replied defiantly, but the thoughts that had been floating around his head ever since he had left Harry at his door were already flooding back to him.

Liam sighed when his friend once again went into a dream-like stupor and headed out back to collect more bottles as Louis slumped forward in his seat languidly.

He recalled the way Harry had opened up to him, revealing that behind his deep voice sat the young boy reflected in his dimples. It was painfully evident that he had been forced to grow up much sooner than he deserved. Louis couldn’t let himself think about vulnerable Harry for too long though, else he’d want to go out and fight all his battles for him. 

Luckily, there were tonnes more images to be sorted through. There was the pink that stained his chest and cheeks when Louis had pushed him up against the wall and the feel of his slender body wanting it all as much as he did. There was the sensation of having the soft lips pressed hungrily and openly onto his, as large hands scoped down his back to pull him in by the arse, crushing their bodies together. 

The shiver that travelled down his spine shook him out of his daydream, only the noting that Liam was no longer standing in front of him. Checking the clock behind the bar, he realised he still had half an hour before he was due on stage. Perhaps turning up early hadn’t been such a good idea, but he was sure Harry would be here again. 

Unless he had been too confident about whatever he could feel between them and had just pissed Harry off by working him up only to walk off. Shit. This guy just kept making him doubt himself. He needed a second opinion.

He leant over the bar and shouted in the direction of the back room until a concerned face popped around the door. 

‘What’s the matter, Lou?’

Louis wasn’t sure how to phrase his answer. What was the matter? Was he concerned that he liked Harry more than Harry liked him? Or that he liked Harry too much after only having met him a week ago? Was he worried that Harry had only taken him on face value and deemed him an easy fuck? 

He shouldn’t be scared that someone he had met seven days ago was ignoring him now he had made it clear he wasn’t going to drop his pants so easily, but he was. 

Maybe he just needed to talk to Liam because his own brain was going haywire and his friend was considerably more level-headed. After all, it was only the first day of the week and his irrationality had him believing Harry wasn’t going to come see him ever again and for some reason that made sense. 

‘Lou?’

He hadn’t realised how long he had taken to answer the question, but he could see that there was more seriousness etched into Liam’s face as he leaned forward to get his attention.

‘Sorry, mate. It’s just…’ he sighed heavily. ‘What do you think of Harry?’

A smug smile appeared transiently on Liam’s face before he straightened up.

‘Well, I can’t say I know much about him seeing as I’ve only really spoken to the guy a couple of times.’

He would’ve left it there if it weren’t for Louis’ eyes almost pleading him for something, anything else. He furrowed his brow. Louis must be confused about something to need this kind of reassurance. In the few months he had worked here, he had quickly learned many things about the man who sat before him now, but there were three in particular. 

One, he was a terrible flirt, but after finding out that Liam was straight, he had revealed that underneath it all lay someone who was just very tactile and loving toward his friends. 

Two, he was like a ball of energy, especially in how it never remained in one form for long. One minute he would be ricocheting off of the walls in pointless excitement and the next he would turn into a fireball of lust, something he had witnessed on his last night out with Louis which ended in a front row seat to a very public groping and grinding session that left even Liam hot under the collar. He hated to think how Louis would be when he was angry or sad if he gave so much of himself to everything else. He definitely wasn’t one to hide his emotions.

And then there was number three. It was clear to anyone that to work here, you had to have some level of self-esteem, and it was obvious that Louis had enough to share. He knew he looked good and he knew what to do to emphasise this and yet he never appeared too full of himself. It was always just enough to exude a cockiness that was attractive to the right people. Despite this though, there were certain things that Liam knew instantly shook his confidence and had Louis seeking out comfort from others. For example, whenever he asks what Louis might do with the money he earns here, he would retreat into himself and only come out again once Liam has convinced him that he isn’t forcing him to get his life into gear. Another chink in the armour, it now appears, is Harry.

Giving the earnest face a sympathetic glance, Liam tried to come up with an evaluation of his friendliest customer.

‘Well, I know he’s decent enough to talk to the only person who works here who doesn’t get naked. I know that he likes vodka, or at least it’s the only thing he trusts to get him drunk enough to handle this place, which I guess is a good thing. And I don’t think he’s an axe murderer if that’s what you’re worrying about,’ he joked, but Louis’ face was still serious and thoughtful.

It was perplexing to see him so still.

‘Listen, mate, whatever it is you’re thinking about, just relax. I’m sure he likes you, I mean, he pretty much told me that you’re the reason he was here so often last week, despite what I said to him.’

He winced as the last few words slipped past his lips and he hoped Louis had fallen into another daydream. No such luck.

Louis was suddenly alert and Liam felt like a deer caught in headlights. He breathed deeply, knowing he hadn’t really done anything wrong. He just knew Louis would take his explanation and run with it to fulfil his own paranoid delusions.

‘What did you say to him, Liam?’ he asked, his voice low and steady.

‘I-I just said that you were, you know, a friendly guy and stuff and to not take what you do the wrong way. I didn’t tell him to stay away from you or anything, I just said that you k-kind of act that way around everyone,’ he admitted, trying to keep his voice even.

‘What else did you say?’

Liam tried to ignore the offhand comment he had made resurfacing, but Louis’ eyes were so piercing that he felt like if he didn’t tell, it would be dragged from him unwillingly.

‘I may have made a sort of joke about you getting sucked off in the toilets after shows,’ he muttered quietly, dropping his gaze to his shoes.

‘Oh.’

Liam looked up, surprised that there hadn’t been more of an explosion. But now… now he was subdued. And it was decidedly worse, like the calm before the storm.

He opened his mouth to apologise, but then the lightning struck.

‘What the fuck, Liam?! You know what you’ve done now? He probably thinks that I ‘act that way’ with any fucker who comes through here when I fancy a shag! Of course you didn’t fucking tell him to stay away from me, you gave him the fucking thumbs up to have a go too! Fuck, Liam! Telling him I get blowjobs in the toilets? Who the fuck says that? For all I know, that’s why he has now twice run to the bathroom during my shows. He probably thinks the earlier he gets there, the more likely he is to get some! For fuck’s sake Liam! And now after Saturday night when I dragged him up on the fucking stage and out for a drink and back to his place only to leave him hanging, he’s probably given up on me completely! Fuck, Liam, you know what you did? You made me think that for once someone wasn’t just interested in me because I’m a fucking stripper, only to have them abandon me once it proves that I’m not the slut you fucking made me out to be!’

Liam opened his eyes, having closed them to shield himself from Louis’ fury. It was a good thing the music was loud else they would have caused quite a scene. His friend was now stood seething in front of him, fists clenched upon the bar as he glared daggers at him. His breaths were low and ragged, having barely stopped to breathe during his rant and giving Liam no time to respond to any of the questions that had been thrown at him. 

Nor had it given him any time to question what the hell Louis was going on about. Sure he had said some things, but Louis was pissed out of proportion and Liam was sure that most of it was not aimed at him.

He tentatively reached out his hand and rested it on Louis’ shoulder, pleased that he wasn’t pushed aside.

‘Louis, why don’t you just tell me what’s going on?’ he asked softly.

The tension left Louis’ shoulders, Liam’s gentle tone and reassuring touch acting like a sedative, and his expression switched from fuming to apologetic as he sank back into his seat.

‘Sorry, Liam. I know you didn’t really say anything that bad. I mean, you could have not said anything, but I’m just so on edge about this guy.’  
Liam smiled, glad that the storm had been short albeit thunderous. 

‘So you say you went out for a drink?’ he encouraged.

Louis ran his hands through his hair and over his face wearily, clearly exhausted from overexerting himself needlessly.

‘Yeah, I mean after the show we got to chatting and he just seemed so nice and _interesting_. I don’t know what it is about him, but I can’t get the sod out of my head. So we had a few drinks in some bar neither of us had ever been in so all of it was new for us, but it still seemed comfortable, you know?’

Liam nodded even though he had never experienced such a thing with someone he had only just met. Maybe Louis had struck gold.

‘Well, we ended up talking about near enough everything for hours, literally hours, Liam. We talked about stupid things that happened to us when we were kids and what our favourite crisps flavours were. He told me things about his past that were so… so personal that I nearly wished it had been me instead. I told him some things I’ve never told anyone apart from people like Zayn and I felt like I could trust him because I felt like he trusted me. Not to mention he is gorgeous as fuck.’

Liam couldn’t disagree there and was glad to see that some of the light was returning to his friend’s face, but it darkened again as he moved on with his story.

‘I ended up walking him back to his flat and things got… heated. It was great, fuck, it was amazing, but guess what.’ 

Louis looked almost mischievous as he beckoned Liam closer.

‘Believe it or not, I don’t go around getting sucked off in toilets by strangers,’ he smirked darkly.

Liam couldn’t help the small laugh that pushed its way out of his throat, but Louis gained his attention once more as he continued.

‘Nor do I shag every guy you see me leaving here with. In fact, I can count on one hand how many people, guys and girls, I’ve had sex with and it has actually been a while since either. You may see me doing a bit of bump and grind with the odd guy on a Saturday night, but trust me, that’s as far as it goes until I get to know them properly. If my mother taught me one thing, it was to not give any of myself away to someone who I didn’t know deserved it. As incredible as Harry Styles seemed, even I wasn’t that naïve. And now I’m glad…’ The glint of self-righteousness faded from his eyes as he trailed off in a weak voice, reminiscent from before his violent outburst.

His friend looked distraught, but Liam still had no idea why. Did Harry hurt him? The thought made fear run through him like a sickness.

‘Louis, what did Harry do to you?’ 

Panic laced his careful words when he spoke and Louis looked up startled at what he was insinuating.

‘Christ, Liam, whatever you’re thinking, stop! Weren’t you listening earlier? I said I left him hanging.’

Liam thought back over their exchange, but got lost in the jumble of words and spittle where Louis had been raging at him blindly.

‘Sorry, mate. You got a bit incoherent for a bit,’ he admitted, patting him on the shoulder.

‘Oh. Sorry about that. You know how it is,’ Louis shrugged.

Liam was in fact sure he had no idea ‘how it is’.

‘So… you left him hanging? And then what?’ he urged.

Louis propped his head up on his hands. 

‘And then nothing. I mean, obviously the club isn’t open on Sundays, but I said that I might see him around next week which is now today and well… he’s not here,’ he finished lamely. 

Liam couldn’t stop himself from scoffing. All of this fuss because Harry hadn’t shown up on the very first day of the week?

‘Jesus Christ, Lou. You’re even more nuts that I thought you were,’ he said exasperatedly.

His somewhat judgemental tone didn’t rouse Louis from the dejection he had settled back into and he just looked up at him with saddened eyes.

‘I know it sounds stupid, Liam, but what if he thinks that there’s no point coming to see me knowing that I won’t jump into bed right away?’ he asked forlornly.

Liam wrapped a supportive arm around his shoulders, determined to knock some sense into his friend.

‘Listen, mate, it’s only Monday and you’re not even due on for another ten minutes – he might show up just in the nick of time. And you said he shared personal stuff with you? Why would someone do that if all they want is a shag? I know I said I didn’t get to know him that well, but he seems like a genuine guy, someone who wouldn’t trade their own secrets to get laid. Have more faith in the world and hold less stock in your own crazy reasoning. And if it turns out your delusional hunches are true, he’s not worth a jot of your time.’

Louis had no time to respond as he noticed the clock on the wall. Liam was right, he was on in ten minutes and he hadn’t even changed yet.

‘Shit, I need to get ready,’ he groaned, springing from his seat and vaulting over the bar as a shortcut to backstage.

Liam stared after him, wondering if any of what he said had sunk in, before turning back in defeat to polish the same glass again. He nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt the familiar pair of arms encircling his waist from behind.

‘Thank you, Liam,’ murmured a soft voice in his ear.

Before he could respond, the arms had disappeared and the door to behind the stage had slammed shut.

He could only hope that the thank you came with an understanding.

-

As Louis finished his set he lingered on the stage for longer than usual, canvassing the crowd for curly hair. His fruitless attempt forced Liam’s words of wisdom and logic out of his head, leaving behind disappointment, rejection and frustration. Harry wasn’t here because Louis didn’t fuck him and the thought of being used like that stung.  
Louis hated it, but the worst part was regretting not just following Harry into his flat in the first place, because at least then he might have been in his life a little longer.


	8. Chapter 8

‘How come you’re not at Paul’s tonight?’

Harry raised his eyebrow at Niall over the magazine he had been reading.

‘Why would I be at Paul’s?’

Niall rolled his eyes.

‘You _know_ why you’d be at Paul’s. I mean, you didn’t go last night because of your long shift and everything and given that you couldn’t go in Sunday, I would’ve thought you’d be having withdrawal symptoms by now.’

Harry lay down his magazine carefully and thought about it. Sure he was tired and everything, but usually that wouldn’t have stopped him, knowing that seeing Louis working would be just the tonic he’d need. But now things were different. They had reached a new level of intimacy on Saturday night and he didn’t want to seem too eager in case it ruined things.

‘I guess I just don’t feel the need to,’ he replied simply.

Niall just laughed and when Wednesday rolled around, Harry knew he was right to have done so.

It had started off as a late night stroll to pick up some milk, but it took ten minutes for Harry to realise that he’d walked straight past the corner shop. It took another five minutes for him to convince himself that he was walking to the supermarket instead and another five after that when he took the long way round. It was only when he was stood outside Paul’s Unisex Strip Club that he accepted his fate. He checked his phone for the time and his gut twisted when he realised he was about to walk in right in the middle of Louis’ set.

He tried to calm his nerves and regain the sense of calm and comfort that had developed during their late night chat, but the butterflies in his stomach were having none of it. Ignoring the odd looks from the bouncer, he ruffled his hair and steeled himself, determined to act casual yet interested, but not so much so that it was off-putting. There was only one way he knew he could handle it and that was by making a beeline for the bar again.

The music was slow and seductive, making it all the more obvious when he let the door fall shut behind him. His eyes caught with Louis’ and his fingers started to tingle, the grin on his face growing uncontrollably. He was just as perfect as he had been four days ago, if not more so. He lifted his hand to wave only for it to fall limply at his side at the look he got in return. It was anything but welcoming and the glaring blue intensified the feeling of dislike that was emanating from across the room. 

Harry was entirely bewildered and the butterflies in his stomach turned to stone. This wasn’t the kind of unpredictability he had come to expect from Louis, but maybe that was the point. 

Louis blanked him for the rest of the show, but his movements became less fluid and the passion that usually ignited his eyes as he worked was dying out rapidly. Harry watched, still rooted by the door, as the stripper struggled to the end, hoping that his chance to talk to him would come when the spotlight dimmed. 

But the look on Louis’ face as he stalked off stage settled like a rock in Harry’s stomach, severing the connection one-sidedly. His legs were lead and his face a mask as he turned back the way he came and stepped out into the cold night air. 

‘On your way already, lad?’ the bouncer’s voice boomed at him.

Harry looked up at the stars, suddenly feeling very small and very confused.

‘I don’t think I’m wanted in there anymore,’ he whispered. 

He felt like a child who had been given a brand new toy only to have it taken away right after he had named it. Or a teenage girl who had just written her life story in her diary only to have it stolen. He felt a little cheated and a little betrayed, but most of all he felt a little lost. 

-

‘For fuck’s sake, Niall,’ Harry muttered under his breath. His best friend wasn’t even in his flat and yet he was still causing nuisance. He slammed the empty cupboards shut, wondering how Niall had managed to leave nothing but a box of lasagne sheets and a mouldy orange without him even noticing. 

He pulled a beanie over his head and thrust his hands deep into his pockets to defend himself against the bitter cold that matched his mood. Despite having lived in London for nearly three years, there were still plenty of bistros and bars he had yet to visit and now that he had the day off of work, he decided that it was the time to experiment. 

He walked briskly past the strip club, determined not to give Louis another thought, but he had already wormed his way to the forefront of his mind again. Damn it.

Harry would not admit that someone he barely knew was having such a detrimental effect on him and the thought almost made him laugh, until he remembered that he didn’t only ‘barely know’ Louis anymore. Harry had been with several people in his life and he couldn’t recall ever feeling so at home with someone. He had never felt compelled to spill his secrets to anyone before and to have them reveal their own in return in full confidence. As cheesy as it sounded, he really felt like they had bonded. He thought the feeling was mutual when Louis pounced him in the hallway.

He snapped out of his reverie when he found himself outside a small family pub and bar. There weren’t many people inside and the colourful sign claimed to have the best all day breakfast around. His stomach rumbled in agreement and he slouched inside, greeted by the smell of homemade food.

He made his way to the bar leisurely, aware that no one was actually manning the tills. He tapped on the side impatiently, listening to the voices coming from the kitchens. His grim mood wasn’t helped by bad customer service. He peered over his shoulder to look for a decent place to sit while he waited.

‘It’s a wonder anyone comes here when the staff spend all their time fucking gossiping,’ he muttered absently.

‘Then why are you here?’

The tone was cold, but the rasp was still familiar and it suddenly felt like all of his blood was in his feet.

Very cautiously, he turned and was met with a pair of blue eyes that were so intense that he took a step backward. He allowed his gaze to roam over the man in front of him, the delicate features all the more delectable in the daylight, clean shaven and smooth. Louis didn’t say a word and simply stared him down. Harry didn’t think he’d ever felt his palms sweat so much.

‘Y-you work here?’ 

It was a stupid question considering the name badge pinned to the front of his tight black shirt, but he had to say something.

Louis raised his eyebrow at him and Harry would’ve thought he was amused if it weren’t for the stoic expression.

‘Yes, Harry, I do work here. Believe it or not, I don’t spend all my time getting naked.’

There was so much bite in his words that Harry involuntarily moved further away from the bar.

‘I never said you spent all your time naked, Lou,’ he defended.

‘Don’t call me that,’ Louis snapped.

‘What, ‘Lou’? That’s your name isn’t it?’

‘Not the way you say it,’ Louis countered, but it was clear his stony ruse was slipping. ‘Just tell me what you’re ordering.’

Harry was at the end of his tether now that the shock of seeing Louis had worn off.

‘I’ll tell you what I’m ordering if you tell me what the fuck is wrong with you,’ he stated bluntly, folding his arms over his chest. He hoped he looked more confident than he felt. 

‘You know damn well what’s wrong with me, Harry.’

‘No, I don’t! You blanked me yesterday and I have no idea why!’

‘Don’t play stupid with me, Styles. Go find yourself another fuck.’

‘And what the hell do you mean by that, Tomlinson?’ he sneered.

Louis slammed his dishcloth down on the bar, hissing through his teeth. ‘It means it’s tough shit that you decided to drop me when you found out I wasn’t going to fuck you.’

Harry stared vacantly for a few seconds, trying to comprehend what he was being accused of. Louis smirked triumphantly, but the victory didn’t reach his eyes and Harry suddenly understood. He moved forward warily until his arms could rest on the bar top again and he locked his gaze with Louis’.

‘I haven’t dropped you,’ he said softly.

Louis’ eyes flashed with hope before hardening again.

‘You don’t have to lie to me, Harry. Liam told me what he said to you about me being so ‘friendly’ with everyone.’

Harry tipped his head to the side curiously. He had actually forgotten that Liam had said anything to him at all in the aftermath of Saturday night. He swore he had gotten to know the real Louis and all other thoughts were disregarded because they didn’t matter anymore. Maybe it just wasn’t as special to Louis as it was to him.

‘Did that night in the bar not mean anything to you, Louis?’ he asked sadly.

The solemnity in his voice seemed to draw Louis out of his armour, his expression softening as it took in Harry’s now glum demeanour, his vulnerability.

‘Of course it did, Harry,’ he admitted. ‘I never feel like I, like I know someone so soon after meeting them. You told me things that I never expected you to and, I don’t know, it was like I’d known you my whole life. And I really wish I had so I could’ve been there for you.’

Harry’s heart leapt at his words and a fuzzy feeling of contentment spread from his chest to his fingers and toes.

‘If you knew me so well, you wouldn’t think I had ditched you because we didn’t have sex.’

A faint blush marred the tanned skin of Louis’ cheeks.

‘You didn’t come in on Tuesday. Or Monday,’ he said quietly. He hung his head down, looking slightly ashamed of himself. It snapped back up sharply when a loud laugh met his ears and he abruptly realised what an idiot he had been.

_Liam was always right._

-

‘What have you saved me as?’ Louis asked cheekily.

Harry smiled as he held up his phone so he could read the word ‘Lou’ above the number he had just entered. The answering grin was all teeth and stunning.

‘I’ve got you under ‘Curly’,’ Louis said shyly, looking at him through his eyelashes. 

Harry ran a hand through his namesake, trying to keep his heart from jumping right out of his ribcage. As soon as Louis’ shift had finished, he had demanded they exchange numbers so they wouldn’t have to endure the same bother and miscommunication that had led to both of them doubting themselves and each other. It was another step forward down the right path.

‘So, urm, what did you want to do?’ Harry asked nervously.

‘I don’t know about you, but I can’t really be arsed with doing anything extravagant. Zayn’s out for the day though so we could just go back to mine and hang out? Don’t get any ideas though,’ he winked, taking advantage of the easy atmosphere that engulfed them again.

‘You really think you’re so hot that I’d do anything to get you into bed, don’t you?’ Harry giggled. 

‘You know it!’ Louis said, standing up with a wiggle of his bum in Harry’s direction.

Harry chuckled again and slapped it playfully, before getting up off of his seat.

‘Oo, Harry!’ Louis exclaimed in a high-pitched feminine voice. He grabbed Harry’s hand and they leant against each other as they laughed like two teenage girls while they walked.

The journey back to the flat was short but sweet, their arms and hands always entwined in one way or another as they tripped over each other’s feet, too distracted by their companion and own amusement to care. When they stood outside of Louis’ door, they both felt the odd familiarity of the situation and burst into peals of giggles again. Louis pulled out his key and let them in, watching thoroughly entertained as the green eyes widened in disbelief.

Harry’s imagination was running wild as he stared into the flat.

Louis had a stripper pole in the middle of his living room.


	9. Chapter 9

‘Louis,’ Harry started slowly. ‘Is that a-‘

‘Yep,’ he replied, kicking his shoes off. ‘Isn’t it beautiful?’

Harry nodded, gulping loudly, reminding himself to keep calm. He didn’t want Louis to get the wrong idea about him again, but it was difficult when all he could see was the way the pole would slot between those toned thighs.

Louis laughed and led them over to the sofa, bringing Harry down to sit beside him by his wrist. He idly flicked through the music channels, fully aware of how uncomfortable Harry was.

Harry shifted stiffly beside him and Louis turned to watch him squirm, biting the inside of his cheek to stop from giggling. He watched his lips part several times like a goldfish before he nudged him in the ribs.

‘Something on your mind there, Curly?’ he asked cheekily.

Harry cleared his throat noisily, blushing, and turned his attention back to Louis. 

‘Why do you, urm… Why?’

‘It’s part of what I do for a living,’ Louis smirked, casually resting an arm along the back of the sofa behind Harry’s head. ‘I wouldn’t be such an icon if I didn’t practice now would I? Besides, sometimes Zayn and I use it to spice up our Friday night routine,’ he added, knowing full well how it would affect Harry.

Long fingers knotted together tensely and a nerve jumped in Harry’s jaw before he responded.

‘Oh? Does he come here often then?’

The false nonchalance that fringed his deep voice amused Louis no end.

‘He lives here, dumbarse. I did mention that earlier,’ he jibed.

‘Oh. I was probably distracted or something.’

Louis raised an eyebrow and quirked his lips up at one side, knocking his knee against Harry’s.

‘And what might you have been distracted by?’

Harry lifted his head and looked him boldly in the eye, plump lips upturning in a mischievous smile.

‘You.’

It was Louis’ turn to blush now. He let his hair fall into his eyes, feeling foolish by how easily Harry could make him nervous. However, he now knew exactly how to get back in control of the situation. 

He flicked his fringe out of his face and licked his lips deliberately, revelling in how Harry tracked the movements of his tongue.

‘You wanna see something?’

Harry looked up in time to catch the impish glint in his eye.

‘I think I’d regret it if I said no,’ he answered slowly.

‘Right answer,’ Louis winked before jumping up and unbuckling his jeans in a flourish.

‘Woah!’ Harry spluttered. ‘I thought you weren’t in this for sex?’ 

His own jeans became decidedly tighter as the denim slipped down Louis’ legs smoothly, revealing a pair of black boxers that were tight enough to remind Harry of the stripper’s usual work attire. He sat up a little straighter hopefully, his fingers flexing with the anticipation of sliding up and under the fabric to the warm skin beneath. 

He wasn’t sure how long he had been staring a hole into his boxers, but it must have been a while judging by the loud laugh and look of pure mirth that danced across Louis’ elfin features.

‘Jesus, Curly, have you forgotten that I’m not actually a slut?’

Harry blanched momentarily before recognising the light-heartedness in Louis’ voice and his cheeks tinged pink instead. Louis seemed oblivious to his embarrassment and started stretching his muscles agonisingly slowly and thoroughly. Harry swore he was doing it purposely and the discomfort in his own underwear wasn’t going anywhere.

‘This isn’t my way of getting you into bed,’ he continued. ‘It’s just easier to do what I’m about to do when I don’t have anything on my legs.’ 

Harry’s mind was completely blank, but when Louis started to sashay over to the pole, he knew he was screwed. 

‘Wait, are you abou-‘

‘About to give you a private performance? Why, yes, I believe I am,’ Louis replied coquettishly.

Before Harry could even begin to think of a way to brace himself, Louis had positioned himself with one leg wrapped around the metal. His eyes instantly found the bulge that was pushed to the left of the pole and the tickle of hair that was revealed by Louis’ shirt rucking up against it. 

Harry shuffled against the sofa so his jeans didn’t bunch quite so awkwardly around him, drawing Louis’ attention from where he had been watching the music channel for an appropriate cue.

Harry swallowed thickly and tried to arrange himself into a more laid-back position, spreading his legs and leaning back against the cushions behind him. It was only when Louis’ eyes drifted south that he realised he was exposing his semi through his jeans and he quickly opted to cross his legs instead. None of this disguised the hunger that was welling in his eyes.

‘Actually, I think I’ve changed my mind,’ Louis mused, disentwining himself from the pole. ‘Seeing as we’re the only two people here, I may as well make things more… intimate.’

Harry blinked dubiously. ‘What do you mean?’

Louis chuckled and sauntered back over to the sofa.

‘Remember Saturday night?’ he asked. 

He waited for Harry’s slow nod before he continued, moving closer as he did so. 

‘Well this might be a combination of what happened both before we went to the bar—‘ He dropped himself so his knees were either side of Harry’s thighs. ‘—and after we went to the bar.’

He hovered just above Harry’s groin until the comprehension dawned across his flushed features. His pillowed lips formed a silent ‘O’ of understanding and his pupils dilated as they gazed up at Louis poised just a little higher than where he wanted him.

‘I’m glad you catch my drift,’ Louis murmured, before twisting to fish for the remote so he could flick through for a decent song.

Harry’s eyes dropped to the legs that bracketed him, holding him in place but barely touching him. The underwear clung like a second skin to every contour that the muscle provided and Harry just wanted to touch…

‘Now remember the rules, Harry.’

His head shot up questioningly.

‘What rules?’

‘Look, but don’t touch.’ Louis winked and then leant forward to sigh into Harry’s ear, his words warm where they breathed over him. ‘Unless I ask you to.’

A shiver ran down Harry’s spine before it lurched forward into his groin, and he could feel all of his senses excavating his head to migrate down to join it. He could do nothing more than nod as want and disbelief took control. Something registered in the back of his mind that Ignition by R Kelly was now playing, but it didn’t seem to matter when he felt a delicate hand running through his hair in synchrony with the lyric.

‘I’ll try to be gentle with you,’ Louis whispered lowly before gyrating his hips sensually, occasionally brushing his groin against the thin material of Harry’s t-shirt eliciting a stifled moan from the willing body beneath him.

With every ‘bounce’, ‘toot’ and ‘beep’ he would dip himself lower to graze what had become a fully-fledged erection, reminding him of why he was glad he was now doing this without an audience. He maintained eye contact even when it felt like the thin green that rimmed the blown pupils was blazing right to his core. 

When he started to feel his own body reacting he didn’t bother to control it, knowing that it would turn Harry into even more of a quivering mess. He could feel Harry’s hands twitching where they rested by his knees and he could tell that he wanted to touch him just as badly as he wanted to be touched. It was time to turn things up a notch.

Sinking himself lower and shamelessly rolling his hips to the lyrics, he allowed his own hardness to collide with Harry’s, who responded with a deep groan that shot straight to Louis’ groin. He let his lips skim across Harry’s silky skin from his jaw up to his ear.

'Can you feel what you’re doing to me, Harry?’ 

Harry’s answer was involuntary as he bucked up toward him, pressing himself against the erection that was threatening to burst through the black boxers. Louis was beginning to realise that this may be where he would lose control again.

‘God, Lou,’ Harry moaned.

‘Calling me a god now?’ he quipped, despite the heat pooling in the pit of his stomach.

‘I’ll call you whatever you want if it means I can touch you,’ he answered huskily, letting his eyes fall shut as the heady pressure of Louis’ groin continued to bear down on him.

‘Just call me yours,’ Louis muttered, before pushing down and forward so he could crash his lips against the inviting mouth in front of him.

Harry’s lips parted in surprise, emitting a startled squeak, before returning the kiss in equal fervour. The hands that had been fidgeting restlessly at his sides jumped up immediately, spreading wide across the expanse of Louis’ thighs. 

Louis’ skin came alive under the touch, urging him to grind down harder until he felt like he could feel every stitch in Harry’s jeans. 

He felt an eager tongue swipe across his lower lip and granted access without a second thought, licking hotly into the mouth that still tasted faintly of hot chocolate. He swept his hands down Harry’s long torso and back up over his shoulders so he could thread his fingers roughly through the curly hair that had topped his dreams for a week. 

He felt rather than heard the moan that rumbled against his own chest before it emptied against his tongue, making him delve deeper so he could taste every little bit of Harry that was available to him. When Louis felt him retreat, he worried that he had been too forceful, but was quickly reassured when the swollen lips were soon replaced on the underside of his jaw.

They slid across and down his neck, devouring the sensitive skin where it met his shoulder before their venture was cut off by his shirt. Harry growled in frustration, and his hands abandoned their massage on Louis’ thighs to slide up his body and rip open the top buttons. 

Louis moaned and relinquished himself to the animalistic ministrations on his skin, teeth grazing across his collarbones before the delicate tongue lapped into the dips. He buried a whimper in Harry’s mop of curly hair and lifted himself a little off of his lap, waiting until he could feel the mewl of protest against his neck before grinding back down again, a large hand wrapped around his shoulder pulling him harder.

They worked themselves against each other desperately, until Harry pulled his mouth off of him and dropped his gaze to his bare chest and dragging it up until it met an equally thirsty blue stare. Harry’s eyes were wild with lust and begging for something more and it tempted Louis. 

It would have been so easy to let it all consume him, but he was a man of his word. As much as he wanted to throw Harry across his coffee table and fuck him into next week, he was still holding out until he knew for sure that this was what they both wanted.

He ground his hard cock against Harry’s one last time, savouring the feel of the other man against him and the tingle that chased from his groin to his head, leaving him dizzy. He then lifted himself so he lingered just out of touch, almost amused by the disappointment in Harry’s eyes if it weren’t for the emptiness he now felt from the loss of contact.

Harry’s eyebrows drew together in fleeting confusion before relaxing in acceptance, letting his hands fall to rest gently at Louis’ waist. He looked up at him through his lashes, his lips red and puffy and his face flushed adorably. Even though Louis’ heart began to slow down, the smile that dimpled Harry’s cheeks made it stutter instead and he didn’t have time to stop the grin that split his face.

He sank himself to sit comfortably on Harry’s thighs, careful to avoid where his erection was still evident. They stayed like that for a minute, both gathering their wits again, with Louis’ arms wrapped slackly around Harry’s neck and his fingers twisting gently in the loose curls at the nape. 

The zealous air that had engulfed them earlier was dissolving enjoyably into comfortable tranquillity. He watched Harry’s eyes roam over his face as though he was examining a Monet in an art gallery, feeling the blush creep up on him when he eyed the column of his throat. 

‘What are you thinking about there, Curly?’ he whispered softly.

Harry’s long fingers started rubbing small circles at the jut of his hips, sending ripples of contentment through him.

‘Just that you’re really talented at giving lap-dances,’ Harry hummed happily.

Louis chuckled lightly and brushed the curls away from in front of Harry’s face, stroking the supple skin as he went.

‘Well you’re the only one I would do this for,’ he smiled.

It was only after he kissed Harry goodbye at his door that he realised just how much he meant it, and it was stupid but it scared him.

Within his reach was something too precious to lose and, as early as it may be, he knew he wouldn’t be able to bear it if something happened to tear it apart.

He sat down heavily in the space on the sofa that Harry had left warm and tried to swallow down the rising panic in his chest that at any minute Harry might up and leave his life. 

He knew that he had a flair for overreacting though, something that Liam had pointed out to him before. It wasn’t like Harry was his boyfriend after all and so long as it stayed that way, Louis couldn’t lose what he never had. Hopefully.


	10. Chapter 10

Almost as soon as Louis made the executive decision to not label whatever he and Harry had as a relationship, he wished he hadn’t because it meant he couldn’t justify his anxiety. 

He had spent the rest of Thursday night staring at his phone, waiting for Harry to text him or for himself to grow the balls to text him first, only realising how pathetic he was being when he woke up on the sofa at 6am with his phone stuck to his cheek. 

He allowed himself the time to get a shower and a change of clothes, before he gave in to his needy side and sent a quick text that he hoped made him sound offhanded but friendly and also flirty. He certainly had no right to be desperate. 

After much unnecessary deliberation he settled on:

‘ _Hey, Curly, hope you had fun last night ;)_ ’

When his phone vibrated no less than five minutes later, his heart jumped up to lodge in his throat. Looking at his clock on his bedside table, he noted that it was only 7am and read the reply.

‘ **I might have done ;) I wasn’t the only one enjoying it though xx** ’

Louis felt the heat rising up his neck and cleared his throat awkwardly, still unsure as to why he felt so on edge. He’d be lying if he said he tried not to read too much into the two kisses tagged on at the end. 

‘ _You’re certainly right there ;) What’s got you up so early? xx_ ’

He jiggled his legs up and down, feeling unexplainably jittery as he passed his phone from one sweaty palm to another.

‘ **I’ve got work :( Fancy popping in to see me? xx** ’

A smile sprawled itself across his face as he imagined Harry with flour sprinkled adorably over his nose, his deft fingers working effortlessly through dough. It was tempting to say yes, especially as he had nothing better to do until his shift with Zayn later… 

And just like that he had an idea.

‘ _Wish I could, babe, but I’ve got things to do. Fancy coming by the club later though? xx_ ’

It took Harry a bit longer to reply this time and he worried that maybe he’d hurt his feelings, but relief washed over him when his phone buzzed cheerfully in his hand.

‘ **Don’t you perform with Zayn tonight? xx** ’

Louis chuckled to himself.

‘ _Yeah. So you wanna come along? xx _’__

It took Harry even longer to text back now, but Louis knew why, letting himself feel flattered by Harry’s blatant yet pointless jealousy of Zayn.

‘ **I don’t think I can make it tonight, sorry xx** ’

He laughed aloud at that one and quickly tapped out a response, effectively making the decision for him.

‘ _Don’t be a twat, Curly. If you’re not there, no more lap-dances for you ;) see you later xx_ ’

Louis threw his phone down onto his bed and managed to stay away from it for all of about 20 minutes, after he realised his room didn’t actually need as much tidying as he thought. Despite how cocky he tried to make himself out to be, there was still the niggling that Harry wouldn’t be persuaded. Fortunately, he wasn’t disappointed when he saw the notification flashing on his phone.

‘ **Fine xx** ’

Regardless of the brevity, Louis’ fingers and toes tingled with excitement. He had some planning with Zayn to do.

-

‘Come on, put your arse into it!’

‘I’m putting more than enough of my arse into it already, Lou!’

‘No, you’re not! Really give it to me back here.’

‘We’re one step away from penetration and that’s one area of our friendship I do not wish to explore.’

Louis flopped down onto the floor in a huff, folding his arms across his chest defiantly. 

‘You said you’d help me, Zayn!’ he pouted.

Zayn collapsed beside him onto the rug, splaying out on his back.

‘I said I’d help you get Harry worked up, I did not say I’d fuck you on stage.’

Louis snorted. ‘You wish.’

He lay back next to his best friend and they both stared at their ceiling for a few minutes.

‘Remember when we used to lie like this in the park when we were kids?’ Louis smiled fondly.

Zayn chuckled and flattened his hands against his bare stomach.

‘Yeah, the only difference is back then we’d talk about how cute Ryan Blackburn looked in French, not how much frottage we can do to make your boyfriend jizz in his pants.’

Louis poked him hard in the ribs. 

‘Oi, he’s not my boyfriend.’

‘Keep telling yourself that, babe,’ Zayn replied carelessly.

Louis rolled his eyes, unwilling to continue the conversation any further. Now was not the time to listen to the ‘voice of reason’, now was the time to devise a routine that would get Harry so hot and bothered that he wouldn’t know which way was up. 

Louis wasn’t sure what he hoped to get from the situation, but seeing how worked up his job got Harry gave Louis such a thrill and he wasn’t going to get anywhere when they were both lying on the floor aimlessly.

Louis hauled himself up determinedly and brushed non-existent lint off of his jogging bottoms and bare torso. He held out a hand for a reluctant Zayn to take and heaved him to his feet as well. Ignoring his moans of protest, he pulled him close so Zayn’s back was flush to his chest again, hands on his hips domineeringly. 

‘Right, now _really_ put your arse into it,’ he commanded, grinding himself against his best friend methodically. ‘Pretend I’m Ryan Blackburn.’

Zayn scoffed. ‘That’s hardly going to help.’

‘Why?’

He reached a practiced hand behind him to grasp at Louis’ neck.

‘He’s a priest now.’

-

After several gruelling hours of Louis directing increasingly slutty dance moves and Zayn complaining that he wasn’t a piece of meat, they both made their way to the strip club with varying degrees of enthusiasm. 

‘Alright, lads?’ Liam called cheerfully.

‘Ugh, don’t get me started, mate,’ Zayn said, slumping onto one of the bar stools.

Liam’s brow furrowed in concern, but Louis was quick to reassure him.

‘Don’t listen to him, he’s just too lazy to put any effort into his job anymore.’ 

Zayn sighed sulkily. 

‘Well, apologies for not wanting to spend the whole day before my night shift working my arse to the bone. Get me a shot of something, Liam?’

Liam raised a thick eyebrow at his friends before reaching behind him to pour a shot glass full of tequila.

‘Just the one, okay? Paul says I’m not supposed to serve you guys before a show.’

Zayn tipped back the drink and dragged a hand across his mouth.

‘Don’t worry, mate. I just need something to get me through this set,’ Zayn explained. ‘Might even turn you, Liam,’ he added with a wink.

Louis shoved his friend so he stumbled sideways off of his stool, neither of them noticing that Liam’s cheeks had turned pink and his fingers had slipped on the bottle he was holding.

Louis was already yanking Zayn back up straight, eager to get them ready and changed as soon as possible.

‘Enough of that, Zayn, don’t want to give away any surprises now do we?’ he said, pulling his friend after him as he made for the door. He turned back just before heading through and got Liam’s attention.

Liam looked up from where he had been shifting glasses around the counter distractedly. ‘What?’

Louis grinned and bit his lip.

‘When Harry gets here, make sure he gets himself a good seat.’

-

Harry could honestly admit that he didn’t want to be here. 

He had hoped he would be able to just sit at the bar and talk to Liam to avoid watching the object of his affections getting up close and personal with another good looking guy, but it seems Louis had accounted for that. 

As soon as he had reached the bar, Liam had held his hands up in defence and pointed toward the empty front row of tables instead. At first Harry was confused, but when Liam smirked the words ‘Louis’ orders’ he admitted defeat.

‘Can I at least have a drink first?’

Liam laughed and poured him a shot which he threw back eagerly. 

‘Will that be all, sir?’ Liam grinned.

Harry shook his hand through his curls and pushed himself away from the bar wearily.

‘I suppose so. Catch you later, yeah?’

Liam chuckled lightly. ‘Not if Louis catches you first, mate.’

Harry coughed awkwardly and grimaced, before weaving his way slowly to the table in the far left corner. It was still in the front row, but at least partially occluded by shadow. As much as he wanted to see Louis, he had hoped their next meeting wouldn’t be under these circumstances. 

He was tired from work and had jam stains on his shirt, accompanied by the overwhelming need to not see another man grinding up on someone he now classified as ‘his’. Those few muttered words from Louis yesterday before they kissed had been playing on his mind all through the night and were most of the reason why he was here, desperate not to disappoint. He could only hope that Louis wasn’t only saying it in the heat of the moment. It seemed in the last few days his priorities had shifted so that his own needs were pushed further down the ladder, with Louis occupying nearly all the other rungs.

‘It’s Friday, guys!’ Liam’s voice boomed over the loudspeaker. ‘And we all know what that means. Time to say hello to everyone’s favourite double act, Zouis!’

Harry couldn’t stop himself from leaning forward in his seat and rubbed his palms anxiously across the material covering his thighs. When the lights came up, he couldn’t help but feel that he had a front row seat to a live sex show.

Both were dressed in just their lycra hot pants again and Louis’ leg was hitched up around Zayn as it had been the first time Harry had seen their show. He was beginning to wonder if Louis could really be classed as a stripper when he seemed to start most of his shows in very little clothing to begin with. 

As the music started, Louis’ hand wove its way from Zayn’s waist, up his neck and into his hair, pulling his head back so that his neck was exposed and his mouth fell open. He leant forward to drag his bottom lip up Zayn’s throat and along his jaw line until he reached his ear. It looked like he whispered something, but Harry couldn’t catch what he was saying - if he was even saying anything at all - too distracted by Zayn’s hand that was coming up to entwine in Louis’ hair. 

Harry’s insides were bubbling with something too close to jealousy to ignore and he had a good mind to stand up and walk out of there, but something was keeping him in his seat and when Louis tore his lips away from Zayn’s collarbone to wink in his direction, he knew he had to stay.

The beat of the music picked up and Louis spun his partner around so that his chest was pressed inescapably close to Zayn’s back. There was one startling moment when Harry thought Louis was going to bend him over and fuck him on stage, but the look in Louis’ eye reassured him. It was mischievous but considerate and let him know that whatever he was doing to Zayn on stage, he wanted to do to Harry off stage. It was enough to calm his nerves, but it had the absolute opposite effect on what was going on in his trousers.

If it weren’t for the sly glances Louis kept throwing his way, Harry would have fully believed that they were in a world of their own. One of Louis’ arms had slid around to wrap against Zayn’s bare waist, his hand playing subtly but noticeably over the tattoo that lay on his hip, entrancing Harry with the movement of his fingers. Louis’ hand slipped a little lower, teasing at the waistband of Zayn’s shorts and there were shouts from the crowd begging for more, but Louis knew just how to keep his audience on its toes as he moved both of his hands to grasp at his friend’s hips tightly.

Zayn threw his head back in mock pleasure, looking entirely plausible to those in the crowd except for Harry who was close enough to see the slight smirk on his face. He pushed his arse back crudely into Louis’ groin, and one of Louis’ hands came up again to wind into his hair, bending him forward slightly. Harry couldn’t tear his eyes away from the bulge in Louis’ shorts, knowing he wasn’t hard but imagining that he would be – hopefully – if it were him up there instead of Zayn. He admired the way Louis’ hips melded to the slight curve of Zayn’s arse, and how he moved so fluidly despite being attached to another as he rutted against him.

The crowd hooted raucously when Louis’ hand left his hair to travel down his spine, pushing him forwards even more so that Zayn had to cock one of his legs, making his arse protrude suggestively on one side. People started calling out Zayn’s name, telling him to bend over more, but he merely turned his head to the side and bit his lip seductively, reaching behind him to grab Louis by the hips to pull him in closer. Louis turned to the crowd as though asking permission to go harder and was met by loud catcalls. It gave him the encouragement he didn’t need to gyrate more forcefully, throwing his head back and flicking the hair out of his face. 

He let his eyes flicker over to Harry in the corner and took in his state of discomfort before winking at him. Louis could tell by his squirming that it was the kind of discomfort he had been experiencing the night before, not the kind caused by the envy and more to do with restricting underwear. As much as Louis enjoyed making Harry jealous, he was glad that he could just enjoy the show for what it was – a preview.

The rhythm of the song quickened and Louis matched the pace, dragging his groin up and down his friend’s arse, pushing him forward exaggeratedly in a vulgar imitation of being fucked hard. Harry could hardly believe that this was allowed, but he was sure glad it was. Seeing the way that Louis took control over the movements, watching him snap his hips back and forth with such conviction, made his cock twitch within the confines of his chinos. When Louis wasn’t at work he was so spritely that he seemed to transform into a completely different person, turning dominant and fierce on stage. It excited Harry to no end. 

Just when he thought he wouldn’t be able to handle it anymore, Zayn straightened himself upright and spun to face Louis, making sure to crush their groins together as obviously as possible. They swayed their hips together, hands roaming up each others’ bare torsos as they undulated as one seamless machine, that had the crowd wolf whistling and cat calling.

The music slowed, but not to a complete stop, as Zayn and Louis pulled apart and stood side by side. The arms that hung next to each other slowly snaked across the front of each others’ defined stomachs, caressing gently in feather touches until their fingertips reached the other’s waistbands. The audience went wild as they tucked two of their fingers down the shorts and Harry could swear he felt his heart stop beating. The club fell silent as both the volume turned down and the crowd waited with bated breath. 

Louis and Zayn looked at each other, and Harry didn’t miss the mirth on their faces. If it weren’t for the setting, he would have thought that they were just two naughty schoolboys at the back of a maths lesson and it was in that moment that he realised he really did have nothing to be jealous of. 

He let out a breath of relief audible enough for Louis to hear, making him to cock his head curiously and give a sly smile, giving Harry the illusion that he had relaxed too soon. A final beat played and both Louis and Zayn jerked their hands forward, ripping the lycra off of each other to reveal matching thongs. Harry gasped, his eyes only on Louis as they both turned to the side cheekily, the perfect curve of Louis’ arse golden and pert. The audience exploded as they waved flirtatiously, but Harry couldn’t find his voice to contribute. 

The two friends then wrapped their arms around each other’s waists and turned around, strutting slowly to the back, cheeks dimpled and wobbling enticingly.

As the people around him got to their feet and bellowed for an encore, Harry remained seated with only one thought in his mind.

If Louis didn’t fuck him tonight, there would be hell to pay.


	11. Chapter 11

‘So what do you do, Harry?’

Harry snapped out of his daze when he realised he was being spoken to, having been too wrapped up in his own fantasies to be active in the conversation going on around him. 

Once Harry had finally managed to tame his erection so he could stumble from his seat, he had found Louis with an arm looped through Zayn’s at the bar talking to Liam. It was surprising that it didn’t bother him, but the way they were linked was more akin to two 6 year old girls than two men who might be fucking on the side. Nonetheless, Harry still felt awkward, not wanting to intrude on the tightly woven trio, especially when he had been irrationally jealous of one of them. 

Funnily enough, it was Zayn who spotted him as he hovered indecisively in the background. His dark eyes lit up in recognition and he nudged Louis in the side who had followed his line of sight to where Harry watched nervously. 

His nerves melted away when the small smile that was already gracing Louis’ face grew into a wide grin that showed all of his perfect white teeth. Louis slid his arm out from Zayn’s and reached forward to pull Harry into the loop, wrapping an arm around his small waist. His fingers slipped underneath the hem of Harry’s t-shirt to brush the skin gently, probably meaning for it to be an affectionate gesture, but Harry was still burning from the show and it only added to the fire in his veins. 

After a while, Louis had suggested they get a taxi back to the flat and the three of them had waved apologetically to a begrudging Liam who still had an hour left of his shift to bear.

The ride home had mostly consisted of Louis and Zayn discussing how they thought someone who went to their old school had been in the crowd, leaving Harry to stare out of the window to distract himself from what he would be doing to Louis if they were alone. 

It carried on for a good ten minutes once they had sat down in Louis and Zayn’s living room, but Harry couldn’t say he minded too much as he was fully involved in a being-fucked-against-a-wall-by-Louis situation that was going on inside his head. 

Once he realised Zayn was talking to him and how ridiculous he must have looked jumping at his own name, Harry blushed a deep red as though Zayn could actually see the compromising positions that were playing across his mind’s eye.

‘Jesus, Curly, what were you thinking about?’ Louis jibed playfully, his mouth quirking to one side like he already knew.

Zayn looked like he was biting back a laugh too, but held it in so as not to embarrass him for which Harry was thankful.

‘Nothing much. Just daydreaming,’ he mumbled, willing for his face to cool down.

‘I bet,’ Louis winked.

‘Alright, Lou, let the guy be,’ Zayn said, throwing a cushion at his friend’s head. ‘So?’

Harry smiled briefly, trying to ignore the way Louis’ eyes were still boring into his temple, and then jerked when he realised Zayn had asked him a question.

‘Urm, I work in a bakery.’

‘Ah, so that’s why Lou’s keeping you around.’

Harry drew his eyebrows together in confusion and Louis laughed lightly and leant over to whisper to him.

‘For your buns,’ he whispered, letting his lips graze his ear.

Harry shuddered as his warm breath tickled his skin and he had a good mind to tell him that he was the one with the buns around here, but he didn’t feel all too capable of speech when Louis was pressed right up close to him and his eyes were twinkling like he knew exactly what he was doing. 

He looked up from his lap to see Zayn watching them in amusement and could only hope that his new friend would distract him enough so he wouldn’t have to mount Louis in front of him. There must have been a silent plea in his eyes as Zayn took control of the conversation again.

‘So, what do you do for fun? Like when you’re not working or perving on Lou?’

Louis giggled obscenely at that and threw an arm along the back of the sofa, letting his hand dangle onto Harry’s shoulder, ducking under the collar of his t-shirt to stroke little circles above his collarbones. 

Focusing on the question and not the stirring in his lower stomach, Harry tried to figure out what he actually did do in his free time. Admittedly, even though working at the bakery meant that he could go an hour or more without a single ring of the bell, he still found that he had to work more often than not, leaving very little time to do much else.

‘I guess I just hang out with Niall and wait until my next shift rolls around,’ he shrugged, hoping Zayn – or Louis for that matter – wouldn’t find him pathetic.

‘Niall your boyfriend then?’ Zayn asked innocently, and even though the question was directed at Harry, his brown eyes were on Louis.

Harry snorted at the suggestion, but enjoyed the way Louis’ fingers had stopped moving on his skin and how his body had stiffened in response to the question. He could feel Louis watching him intently as though Harry hadn’t already made it clear that he and Niall were just friends, and he could see his own enjoyment reflected on Zayn’s face. After all the jealousy he had felt toward Louis’ best friend, he almost wanted to draw out whatever it was that was charging through Louis’ mind at that moment just as a bit of tit-for-tat, but he couldn’t lie.

‘No, he’s more like my brother who just happens to live next door. We were both fairly new to London when we met so we sort of clung to each other, I guess,’ he explained. ‘He’s a bit of a nuisance sometimes, but I think he’s just lonely. All of his family’s still in Ireland.’

He could feel Louis relax against him and the fingers that had dipped beneath the collar of his shirt slipped a little lower and resumed their movements.

Zayn smiled empathetically. They all knew what it was like to leave family behind, but he couldn’t imagine being separated by water.

‘Well, he can hang out with us anytime he likes. Us including you of course, mate,’ Zayn offered genuinely.

Harry felt a warm glow inside him that was completely separate from the heat Louis was causing.

‘Thanks, that means a lot,’ he smiled. ‘Neither of us really get the time to socialise with anyone other than each other.’

Louis’ hand drifted upward to squeeze his shoulder lovingly.

‘Good job you found us then, ay Curly?’ he murmured softly.

Harry turned to meet his eyes and felt a little dizzy from the affection he found there. He almost forgot how horny he was, until the hand on his shoulder vanished and relocated to his thigh radiating warmth that travelled right up to his groin. 

Oddly enough – again – it was Zayn who noticed how Harry squirmed, but he also took into account the way Louis’ hand squeezed and decided to do them both the favour that he thought should have been granted them days ago. 

‘Right, lads,’ he started, standing up and cracking his neck. ‘The night is still young, so I’m going to try and find me a man to take me home and have his way with me.’ And with that he scooted out of the door, leaving Harry and Louis alone with the palpable sexual tension that could be cut with a knife.

-

Louis had always though Harry was quite lanky – toned and defined, yes – but still fairly lanky. He would have thought of himself as being the stronger out of the two if he were ever asked to judge, mostly because he wasn’t a stranger to hauling himself up metal poles and suspending himself there through pure body strength. 

But now, as he found himself pinned to his own living room wall with neither the ability or desire to move, he realised he may have thought wrong. It had taken all of about one minute after Zayn had left and a few choice words on Louis’ part to withdraw this reaction from Harry.

‘He’s got the right idea,’ he had joked, gesturing at the door through which Zayn had disappeared. 

Almost as soon as the words had left his lips, he heard something close to a growl and found himself being pulled upright and slammed against the wall with Harry’s lean body pressed against him. It was a split second internal decision, wondering if they were ready for this and subsequently realising he should have just trusted Harry right from the off. The only thing holding him back was his fear of this one night blurring whatever lines he had been drawing, but when he felt Harry’s cock swelling against his thigh there was little room left to determine the boundaries.

‘I’ve had enough of your teasing, Lou,’ Harry whispered into his ear as though it wasn’t already obvious. 

It was a redundant statement to make and Louis didn’t even bother to make it clear that it had registered, instead allowing his hands to move from his sides to Harry’s waist and around to the small of his back before travelling downward to the backs of his thighs. Harry seemed to understand, moving his body away from Louis’, though it followed closely behind, until there was enough room behind them for Harry to jump into his arms and wrap his legs tightly around his waist. Louis’ well-trained arms handled Harry’s slender form, cradling from his thighs to his arse and pulling him in tightly so he could feel his erection against him. Harry whined when Louis didn’t move and nipped at his earlobe to kick him into staggering to his bedroom. 

Once they were in, he dropped Harry onto his bed and shut the door, turning back to face the room to find Harry already on his feet again, reaching to pull off his own t-shirt until Louis grabbed his wrist.

‘That’s my job, Haz,’ he murmured.

Harry raised an eyebrow at him. 

‘Since when did you call me that?’

Louis reached forward to pop the button on his jeans and pull down the zip, making Harry’s eyelids flutter.

‘Since I realised both your actual name and nickname have too many syllables for me to moan when I’m fucking you senseless,’ he breathed against his lips, absorbing the sounds that came from Harry’s throat in return.

‘And what makes you think I’m not going to be the one fucking you?’

Louis smirked as the words brushed over his mouth, tucking his hands down the back of Harry’s loosened jeans to massage the small curve of his arse. The muscles tensed in his grip as Harry groaned and thrust himself forward to try and match the friction on his groin, and Louis responded willingly, pulling him in closer and grinding his hard length against Harry’s, their clothes rubbing. 

‘Because your arse is begging to be fucked,’ he muttered huskily, groping harder to make his point. ‘But maybe another time.’

Harry moaned, letting his arms slide from Louis’ shoulders to squeeze at the generous flesh of Louis’ arse. ‘Thank god.’

Louis chuckled lowly. ‘But tonight is all about my dick in your tight arse. That alright with you?’

Harry’s hands tightened on him, pushing his hips forward more his stiff cock could be felt more obviously. ‘What do you think?’ 

Louis’ answer came in a forceful shove that had Harry sprawling across the bed, long limbs splayed and face a little dazed. Louis soon joined him, adjusting Harry’s body so it was straight enough for him to be able to yank his t-shirt over his head, afterwards doing the same with his jeans and spreading his legs. 

Harry could feel himself flush when he realised that this was the first time Louis was seeing him out of clothes, suddenly feeling somewhat inadequate after seeing Louis’ bare flesh so many times and knowing how he would compare. 

The silence echoed disappointment in his ears and he was a moment away from curling into a ball to hide his imperfections when he felt a gentle touch on his stomach. He looked down cautiously to see fingers tracing his gangly torso, but the awe on Louis’ elfin face as he crouched between his legs didn’t match up with Harry’s self-perceptions.

The teasing caresses strayed to his v-lines before Louis spoke up again, his breath tickling the hairs that led to where Harry strained against his boxers.

‘Christ, Harry. Maybe you should be the one on stage.’

Harry’s laugh sounded more like a bark, nervous and disbelieving, but Louis soon shut him up again replacing his fingers with his mouth. He gasped softly, his body over-sensitised and sending blood flooding to areas that were already over-supplied as light kisses peppered his lower stomach and the skin that lined his waistband. 

‘You’re fucking gorgeous, Haz,’ Louis muttered against his skin.

Harry didn’t know whether agreeing or disagreeing would move things along faster and instead settled for bucking his hips slightly, hoping it would draw attention to where it was needed.

‘So impatient,’ Louis tutted, even though his own clothes were feeling quite uncomfortable. ‘What do you want me to do to you?’

Harry’s long fingers buried themselves in the pillows at his head, two ideas flickering through his mind making him unsure as to which he wanted first – to see or to be touched. Louis sensed his confusion and dragged himself up so he hovered above Harry fully, their faces just inches from each other. He nudged their noses together in what would have been an innocent gesture if it weren’t for the fact their equally hard cocks were lined up against each other, touching just enough to trickle shivers up and down their spines.

‘What do you want, Harry?’ he repeated, grinding down gently.

Words got stuck in Harry’s throat as Louis pressed his lips to it, using his hands to speak for him as they shakily moved from under the pillows to twist at the hem of Louis’ t-shirt and loop through his belt loops. Louis smirked against his pulse and pushed himself off of him, shuffling backwards on the bed until his feet met the carpet. He stretched himself out leisurely, watching Harry’s eyes dart to where his shirt rode up, before chasing the rising hem to tug it over his head slowly, revealing himself inch by inch. 

He tossed it to the side dramatically, but all of Harry’s attention was on his body and he didn’t feel much like drawing this out either. He hooked both of his thumbs into the top of his jeans, his fingers dangling to frame the outline of his erection briefly before he shucked them off completely.

Harry sat up on the bed, his gaze wandering hungrily over Louis as he stood in just his boxers.

‘Y-your button…’ he stammered, nodding his head at Louis’ southern region.

Louis, confused, looked down at himself quickly and easily noticed that the button on his underwear had popped open, revealing some of the skin that tautly covered his cock. He made no move to do it up again, reasoning that there was no point, and instead just shrugged before crawling back onto the bed and settling between Harry’s legs.

He pushed Harry back gently, catching his lips with his own just as the curly hair hit the pillow. He ignored the desperate advances of Harry’s tongue, purposely keeping it clean and moderate, even if their joined bare chests were practically searing him. He allowed Harry’s tongue one more swipe against his lips before pulling away and trailing downward.  
He left kisses like promises on his neck, collarbone, chest and stomach, until he reached his goal and stuck the tip of his tongue under the waistband and slid it along the material until Harry was squirming. 

Harry’s mind was blank, only aware of the profile that nudged lightly against his hard cock through his boxers. ‘Lou,’ he whimpered, already trying too hard not to buck into the face at his groin. ‘ _Please_.’

The chuckle vibrated against him and he thought that maybe he would be driven mad, but there was a sudden rush of chilled air and a delirious sensation of freedom as Louis tore his boxers off of him and watched his cock bob free.

‘Wow, Haz,’ he murmured, sitting back on his heels. ‘You certainly hide _a lot_ with those clothes of yours.’

He reached behind him, fumbling slightly in the half-light that came from the lamppost outside, before his hands found purchase. Harry only just had time to register the clicks of a lid being flipped open and closed, before there was a cool wetness circling around his hole. He quivered under the touch and let out a breathy moan.

‘This what you want, babe?’ Louis managed, already getting lost in the sight of Harry’s legs spreading wider to expose himself to him. He prodded the tip of his finger past the ring of tight muscle, but paused when he felt Harry tense. ‘Haz?’

‘Yeah, d-definitely,’ Harry gasped. ‘It’s just it’s, urm…’

‘What is it?’ he asked concernedly. He wanted everything to be perfect for both of them tonight. When Harry’s pink face twist into something like shame, he began to rub small soothing circles into his hip with his dry hand. 

‘It’s just that, well, it’s b-been a while,’ Harry whispered, his cheeks colouring even darker.

Relief washed over Louis and he pressed a soft kiss to the inside of Harry’s thigh.

‘Me too, Haz. I’ll start slow.’ 

He carefully eased his finger back into Harry and waited for him to relax until he pulled out half-way and pushed in again. He looked up at Harry’s face where his eyes were screwed shut and his teeth bit his lip. It was hard to tell whether it was from pain or pleasure, but Louis took his silence as consent and moved his finger again. Harry was so tight around him that it was hard to concentrate, but he maintained a steady pace until a soft moan had him curl his finger inside him.

‘God, Lou. _More_.’

He didn’t waste any time hesitating, sliding a second finger in alongside the first, drinking in the groan that rumbled from Harry.

‘Does that feel good, Haz?’ he croaked, crooking his fingers.

‘So fucking good. Your fingers. Shit, Lou.’ 

His words came in between downward thrusts onto Louis’ hand, trying to get his fingers deeper inside where they scissored him open.

‘Fuck,’ Louis breathed, pushing in a third finger.

‘Lou!’ he gasped. ‘Just fuck me.’

The demand went straight to Louis’ groin where he had been subconsciously palming himself through his boxers. His hand moved to the waistband so he could shuck them off of himself and Harry’s eyes widened.

He had seen Louis’ cock through his clothes a countless number of times, but to see it bare and hard was something else altogether. The size was a little bit daunting, but the more he thought about it pounding inside him, the more he wanted it, _needed_ it. There was a rustle of a wrapper and a bitten back moan, and then he felt it pressing against his entrance.

‘You ready for me, Haz?’ Louis asked breathily.

Harry was about to nod when he had an idea.

‘No. Want to ride you.’

Louis barely had time to register it before he found himself face to face with Harry momentarily, his plump lips crashing into his for three stolen breaths until he was pushed away with the same force that had pinned him to his living room wall. His hard cock slapped almost painfully against his bare stomach as he fell onto the mattress, but it didn’t seem to matter when Harry sat atop his thighs, stroking himself purposefully. His voice was gravelly as he repeated Louis’ words.

‘Are you ready for me?’

Louis had no verbal answer and could only watch as Harry came forward and positioned himself over him. He had the presence of mind to hold his throbbing cock still, giving it a quick reassuring squeeze before Harry shoved it aside and sat himself down abruptly, surrounding Louis in a tight heat that was near unbearable.

‘Fuck, Haz,’ he groaned, fighting to keep his eyes open so he could watch Harry’s face contort into feverish pleasure.

‘Christ. You’re b-big. You feel so fucking good,’ Harry ground out, still not moving so he could savour Louis thick and hard inside him.

Louis loosened his fingers from where they had wound into the sheets to grasp at Harry’s hips, his thumbs bruising into the bone so he could feel some semblance of control. It was taking every piece of his willpower to not thrust up deeper into Harry.

Luck was on his side as Harry started rotating his hips in small circles, balancing himself by placing his hands behind him on Louis’ thighs. The motion made his back arch, stretching his body out under the dim lighting so Louis could see every imperfect perfection on his pale flesh. Harry’s stubby nails dug into his skin uncomfortably, but it was an appreciated distraction from the pressure that was already beginning to build inside him. 

Harry halted in his experimental circular movements and looked down, the blue in Louis’ eyes only thin rims surrounding the black of his pupils.

‘Tell me what you want,’ he whispered, slackening his hand on Louis’ thigh.

Louis dug his fingers harder into Harry’s hips and curled his toes.

‘I want you to fuck yourself on me,’ he growled.

‘Fuck,’ Harry moaned. ‘ _Yes_.’

He lifted himself slowly, letting most of Louis’ cock slide out of him, before slamming himself back down again, making them both cry out. He easily established a rhythm, moving himself up and down, calling out in euphoria as he hit his prostate on each downward thrust of his hips.

Louis felt like he was going to explode as he watched Harry ride him, his cock bouncing against his flat stomach leaving a trail of pre-come between his abs as he sank himself down. Up until now, his tight hold on Harry’s hips had been passive, but when Harry threw his head back to let out an animalistic groan, his arms came to life, tugging him down. 

With each slam down of Harry’s hips, he thrust upward, delving as deep as their bodies would allow. Harry keened frantically, his hands moving to Louis’s chest and the wall beside him to help him keep up with the enthusiastic pace he was setting.

‘Fuck, Haz. You feel so fucking good,’ he rasped. ‘And you look so hot.’

The curls that weren’t clinging to the sweat on Harry’s forehead and neck were bouncing in time with the relentless pounding his arse was receiving, jolting him up and down so his lower lip trembled when his mouth opened to gasp in the air that he didn’t need as much as the cock that stretched him inside.

‘Oh, Lou. Harder.’

He said it even though he didn’t think he had ever been fucked this hard in his life, but Louis was something else. The thrusts came thicker and faster and the sounds tore from his throat as he continued to push down, only just able to keep up.

‘You like that, babe? You gonna come for me?’ Louis panted.

‘You fucking know I’ll come for you,’ Harry replied hoarsely, shoving himself back down roughly so his arse cheeks slapped against Louis’ thighs. ‘Shit, I’ll come all over you.’

Louis groaned, throwing his head back into the pillows as the image of Harry spilling onto him flooded his vision, slowing his rhythm slightly as he fought to control himself.

‘Oh, you like that, do you?’ Harry asked teasingly. ‘You want me to lick it up after?’

‘Fuck, Haz.’

‘Thought you were?’

Louis growled and quickly resumed his previous vigour to prove himself, driving into him even more insistently until Harry wasn’t even able to match his thrusts and just let himself be fucked. He could feel the sweat trickling down his back and he could see the sweat that clung to the bronzed body in front of him. The look on Louis’ face was a beautiful combination of bliss and concentration, the muscles in his arms standing out as he pulled him down with every slam of his hips upward. Each pound of his hard cock inside him hit him just right and the shocks of pleasure were beginning to merge together into ripples that rocked his body as he rode Louis’ length.

He knew he was close and judging by the increasing erraticism of Louis’ thrusts, they both were.

‘H-Haz,’ he gasped. ‘Shit, Haz, I’m close.’

‘Fuck, me too, Lou. You fuck me so good.’

Louis hissed and clamped harder onto Harry’s hips.

‘You’re so fucking tight. Hot and tight.’

‘Yeah? Fuck me then. Fuck me hard, Lou. Want you to make me come. So hard for you.’

Louis nearly snarled and relinquished his grip on one of Harry’s hips to wrap his hand tightly around the throbbing cock that had been bobbing in front of him for far too long for him to not touch it. He started pumping it fiercely, equalling the ministrations of his hand with those of his cock.

‘Ah, fuck, Lou, shit, oh god, you’re _so good_.’

‘Fuck yes. You like that?’

‘Oh god. F-fuck, Lou, I’m g-gon—‘

All of Harry’s muscles clenched as he came loudly, spilling his load onto Louis’ chest as he continued to fuck into him, teeth gritted. The muscle around his cock was overpoweringly tight and it only took two more thrusts until he came on a loud moan of ‘ _Harry_!’ with the man himself slumping forward slightly, boneless from his orgasm. 

At least, Louis thought he was slumping from exhaustion, but when he felt licking at his chest, he realised what Harry was doing and couldn’t hold back the rumble in his throat at the sight of Harry lapping up his own come from his sweaty body.

‘Jesus, Curly.’

Harry looked up at him doe-eyed, white on his lips until a pink tongue darted out to catch it. ‘What?’

Louis let himself slip out of him before brushing the damp curls from his forehead, cradling the face that was still tinted with sex flush.

‘If I had known you were this filthy, I wouldn’t have made you wait so long.’


	12. Chapter 12

_Maybe another time_.

Morning had barely broken when the question of when that time would come began to swirl around Harry’s mind. The warm body next to him was cuddled snugly into his side and, even though Harry had never felt more content, he wanted nothing more than to shake Louis awake and fuck him into the mattress. He had thought that last night’s sex would diminish his hunger, but it seems his long dry spell, combined with the delectable creature that broke it, had only left him craving more. 

He glanced down at Louis’ tussled hair and the soft eyelashes brushing against his cheekbones. He looked so peaceful that it was hard to believe this same cherubim would transform into a vivacious fireball in just a few hours. Harry didn’t have the heart to wake him up just because he was horny, but the poking from his morning glory might just do the job for him…

Just like that, another idea popped into his head that had him shifting out from under Louis’ slight weight and wriggling down the bed. Luckily for him, Louis was still dead to the world, completely oblivious to Harry settling himself between his legs.

Harry had a moment of worry, thinking that this was a step too far in their fledgling relationship, but it vanished as soon as he took in the view from his new vantage point. Louis’ cock lay half-hard against his thigh, the early morning light picking out shadows that gracefully defined his hipbones and muscles. His chest was rising and falling slowly, skin golden and delicious, and Harry couldn’t believe that he was actually here – in bed with the funny and gorgeous pride of the strip club.

Harry rested his hands gently on top of Louis’ legs, letting his thumbs stroke at the soft skin of his inner thigh. When he got no reaction, he stroked higher dipping into the crease from his groin to his arse cheeks, teasing the fuzzy layer of hair. He looked up when he heard a small sigh, but Louis’ eyes were still closed, sleeping soundly. Time to turn things up a notch.

Adjusting himself so he was crouching more comfortably, Harry ducked his head so he could run a sly tongue between the cheeks, dragging up slowly over Louis’ balls and sucking them into his mouth one at a time. He swirled each one individually with his tongue, the soft skin slipping easily in his mouth as he nudged the base of Louis’ cock with his nose, glad to feel that it had grown a little bit harder. He moved his hands higher to span across Louis toned stomach, feeling each subtle dip of his abs with his fingertips before sliding up to rub subtly at his nipples. 

Moving away from Louis’ balls, he nuzzled his face into the softly trimmed hair that framed his cock, breathing in the unmistakeable scent of Louis and sex. He felt Louis squirm beneath him making his nearly fully-fledged erection bump the side of Harry’s face, but he was still lost in sleep.

Harry rubbed his cheek against the soft skin covering Louis’ cock. It was so smooth that it felt innocent, ironic considering what it had done to him the night before. Not wasting any more time, he sucked as much of the length as he could into his mouth, pacing himself when it hit the back of his throat. It had been a while since he’d last done this, but it was easy to get used to again when he felt it harden even more in his mouth, Louis’ subconscious little moans spurring him on. 

He removed one of his hands from Louis’ chest to wrap his hand around his own cock, too turned on to ignore it any longer, and groaned unrestrainedly.

Suddenly, his mouth was empty and a hand was in his hair jerking him upright so he came face to face with a wild-eyed Louis Tomlinson. 

‘What the fuck are you doing?’ he demanded.

Harry’s stomach fell and his face hot with shame.

‘S-sorry. I just thought I w-would- I don’t kn-know. I won’t do it again, I’m so—‘

He was cut off by a pair of warm lips crushing against his own greedily.

‘You’re fucking amazing, Haz,’ Louis breathed hoarsely when he pulled away. ‘Thought I was dreaming.’

‘You’re not mad?’ Harry whispered.

Louis smiled, still flushed, cupping his cheeks in his hands.

‘I don’t think I could ever be mad at you, Curly,’ he murmured, stroking his thumbs over Harry’s blushing skin. ‘Unless you don’t get back to work.’

With that, he pushed Harry’s head down again and fell back onto the bed, his cock now standing hard and full away from his body. Harry felt his own cock throb against his stomach at the sight of it solid and still shining slightly with his saliva. 

Now that Louis was awake, he wanted to take full advantage.

‘Actually, I was thinking we could maybe do something… else,’ he said uncertainly.

Louis looked down at him curiously. ‘I’m sure whatever you want to do with me will be fine,’ he assured.

Harry nibbled his lip. ‘Are you sure?’

‘As long as you’re not planning on shoving a mug tree up my arse or anything,’ Louis chuckled.

Harry hesitated before replying. ‘Well… not quite a mug tree.’

Louis furrowed his brow in confusion before realisation dawned across his face.

‘Y-you mean you want to—?’

Harry looked up at him nervously, caressing the skin of Louis’ upper thighs gently.

‘Yeah. If you don’t mind.’

‘Mind? Fuck, Harry. Your version of a wake-up call is sucking my cock so you can put yours wherever the fuck you want,’ he said, spreading his legs a little wider before adding, ‘Within reason, I mean.’

Harry giggled and ran his hands higher to stroke at the underside of Louis’ arse, his fingertips grazing into the cleft.

‘Where do you keep the lube?’

‘It’s probably on the floor somewhere,’ Louis replied, voice a little low. ‘Can I just ask how you have the energy for this after last night?’

Harry shrugged, dangling his arm over the side of the bed to search for the bottle.

‘No idea, I’m just insatiable for you, I guess,’ he winked, sitting up straight again with the lube in his hand. ‘Why? Are you too tired for this?’

Louis snorted.

‘Does it look like I’m tired?’ he asked, gesturing at his cock where the skin pulled tight.

‘I guess not,’ Harry smiled, licking his lips. ‘Are you ready?’

‘Yeah,’ he breathed. ‘Yeah, do it, Haz.’

Harry held his breath as he pushed one wet finger inside, watching Louis for any signs of discomfort.

‘Is this okay?’

Louis nodded, his teeth digging into his lower lip.

Harry pulled his finger out again and slid it back in with ease, going a bit deeper and curling the tip slightly. Louis moaned softly, opening his legs a little more, encouraging Harry to move a little faster as he resisted the urge to touch himself again.

‘Good?’ he asked.

‘So good. Another one, Haz. Please,’ Louis begged.

Harry dipped his head to lick along the creases of Louis’ groin as he followed his orders, carefully easing another digit inside.

Louis groaned frustratedly, muscles jumping in his legs as Harry scissored his fingers delicately, needing something more than the gentle thrusts he was getting. 

‘For fuck’s sake, _harder_ ,’ he demanded. ‘How do you expect me to take that cock of yours when you’re fingering me like a fucking fairy princess?’

Harry hated to admit that he loved the way Louis was talking to him, the way he was criticising and demeaning him, just making him want to do better.

‘You asked for it,’ he growled, abruptly pushing a third finger inside and making Louis cry out.

‘Fuck! That’s more – _shit_ – that’s more like it,’ Louis gasped, putting his hands on the wall behind him to stop his head from ricocheting off of it as his body was pushed upward.

‘Yeah? You like it hard then?’

‘Shit, yes. Christ, your fingers are good, Haz,’ he gasped.

‘I know they are,’ Harry murmured suggestively, painting a mental image that had Louis clenching around his fingers as they drove into him.

‘Fuck,’ was all Louis managed, lifting his legs to hook his arms under his knees and open himself up more to Harry’s fingers.

‘Fucking hell, Lou,’ Harry moaned, groping at the exposed underside of Louis’ thigh with his free hand. ‘Look at yourself, fucking gagging for it, aren’t you?’

Louis just gripped harder, completely shameless as he exposed himself, taking every thrust of Harry’s hand as it came. His dick slapped messily against his stomach as his body was shunted, but he couldn’t bring himself to care.

‘Yeah, you want my cock, don’t you? Want me to stretch your tight little arse even more?’

‘Fuck, Jesus Christ,’ Louis groaned. ‘You’re so fucking filthy.’ 

‘You got that right, Lou,’ he said huskily, withdrawing his fingers and instantly missing the heat. ‘You like it when I’m filthy, don’t you?’

‘Fuck, yes,’ Louis whined. ‘Get your cock inside me, Haz. I need something inside me.’

Harry ignored him, taking his time in slathering up his dick with the lube.

‘Did you like it when I came all over you last night?’ he asked almost conversationally.

Louis moaned, half in pleasure and half in frustration as he dropped his legs. 

‘I’ll take that as a yes.’ Harry smirked, still jacking his hand over his own cock. ‘But if you’re not sure we can just have a replay.’

Louis’ mouth slacked in surprise, his eyes bright.

‘W-what? Fuck. How?’

Harry didn’t answer straight away, instead shuffling forward on his knees and hoisting Louis’ legs up so his ankles rested on his shoulders.

‘Not gunna wear anything... That okay?’ he asked, giving Louis the chance to object, but was glad when he just nodded. ‘Good… then I’ll come all over you, yeah?’

Louis breathed deeply, too distracted by the feel of Harry’s cock pressing against his entrance.

‘Sounds fucking perfect.’

‘Right answer,’ Harry murmured before pushing his cock inside, sheathing himself in a tight heat that had his mind reeling. It had definitely been too long.

Louis let out a low hiss, locking his ankles together behind Harry’s head and keeping him steady. Harry took the hint, not wanting to hurt him no matter how much he wanted to fuck him into next week. He wrapped his arms around the thighs that were suspended at his sides, stroking along the skin right up to the feet knotted at the back of his neck repeatedly. He felt Louis relax under his touch after a couple of minutes and gave his firm thighs a squeeze, asking for permission.

Instead of answering verbally, Louis moved his ankles back to Harry’s shoulders, releasing him from the hold he’d had him in. Harry pulled out slowly, welcoming the cool air that hit his cock, but not wanting it to settle. He pushed back in again, grunting as Louis’ muscles held him tight and the legs on his shoulders once again closed together to lock behind his head. It pulled him in deeper, the angle opening up Louis’ legs as they brought Harry’s head and hips closer.

His face was just close enough to whisper into the corner of Louis’ mouth. ‘You’re not the one in control here.’

Louis moaned, pulling his legs apart so they were sticking up in the air diagonally, leaving himself wide open to Harry who withdrew his cock momentarily to admire the new wanton position.

‘Fuck, you look good like this.’

‘Just fuck me, Harry,’ he pleaded, whimpering slightly as Harry ran his hands up his legs to hold onto his calves.

Harry groaned, lining himself up again. ‘My pleasure.’

He thrust into him hard, forcing a choked gasp out of Louis’ throat as he threw an arm behind his head to cushion himself against the wall.

‘Fuck! Keep going like that, Haz.’

‘Don’t. Tell. Me. What. To. Do,’ Harry grunted, punctuating each word with a slam of his hips just as forceful as the first.

‘Fuck, fuck, _fuck _. Your cock—‘__

__‘What about my cock, Lou?’_ _

__Louis could barely think straight, his senses constantly being jolted – he had no idea how Harry was able to remain so eloquent._ _

__‘Fuck. It’s s-so fucking big. Gets me so _deep_. Fucking perf – _fuck_! – perfect, Haz. Right there, fuck yes, fuck me like that,’ he panted._ _

__‘Did it hit the right spot there, babe? Ever had a cock fuck you this good?’_ _

__‘Fuck, no. No one like you, Haz. Fuck, _harder_.’_ _

__‘Too fucking right. God, your arse is so tight. You’re like a fucking virgin,’ Harry moaned, gripping Louis’ legs tighter and pounding hard. ‘Like a slutty little virgin.’_ _

__‘Fuck, I’m so fucking hard. Want you to come.’_ _

__‘Shit,’ Harry breathed heavily. ‘Fuck, getting close.’_ _

__‘Fucking come all over me, come all over my tight little body, Haz, make me come, I need to come.’_ _

__Harry moaned, withdrawing his cock from Louis’ body and wrapping his deft fingers around it instead. He closed his eyes and dropped his head back until he heard a pathetic kind of whimpering and looked to see Louis watching him pleadingly. Understanding immediately, Harry took hold of Louis’ cock in his other hand, nearly spurting his load when he felt how hard it was and knowing that he was the cause of that._ _

__Louis started fucking up it desperately, spreading his own pre-come down the shaft under Harry’s hand. He keened frantically, grabbing fistfuls of sheets and glistening with sweat with each flick of Harry’s wrist. It was going to be Harry’s wrecking watching Louis come undone like this and he matched the pumps on his cock to the movements on his own, knowing that he could work them both just right so that they would—_ _

__‘Har- _ry, fuck_!’ Louis’s body went tense as he spilt over Harry’s hand and all over himself._ _

__Harry came moments later, captivated by the look on Louis’ face, nothing coherent, just a long and loud animalistic groan that tore right from his groin and out of his throat. His load streaked up Louis’ chest, mingling with Louis’ in a filthily beautiful way._ _

__Letting go of their softening cocks he swiped one finger down the middle of Louis’ body, gathering up a decent amount of both of them and pressing it to his own lips, sucking it into his mouth. Louis watched him in morbid fascination and shook his head. This guy was going to be the death of him._ _

__-_ _

__‘His knob was a weird shape!’_ _

__Louis raised his eyebrow at Zayn, placing his hands on his hips. After he and Harry had both cleaned up and gotten dressed, they had ambled into the living room to find Zayn sitting cross-legged on the sofa with a bowl of Coco Pops watching Tom and Jerry. Harry had turned an endearing shade of scarlet and hidden behind Louis, who had only been curious as to why he was actually here._ _

__‘And?’_ _

__‘And I wasn’t exactly going to spend the night with a guy who had a mutant dick. You guys were quiet when I got in anyway so I assumed the deed was done,’ he explained through a mouthful of cereal._ _

__Louis felt Harry hang his head against his back in shame, knowing what must be running through his mind. Sure enough, once Zayn had swallowed, he continued speaking._ _

__‘But then I woke up to this unearthly racket, Je- _sus_. It was like waking up on a fucking porn set! I swear I know more about Harry’s cock now than an—’_ _

__‘Okay, okay! That’s enough, we don’t need to talk about it anymore,’ Louis cut in, pulling Harry out from behind him to squeeze his hip reassuringly. ‘You’re making Harry uncomfortable.’_ _

__‘Sorry, mate. If it’s any consolation, it sounds like you did a fucking great job,’ Zayn said, holding up his bowl of Coco Pops like he was doing a toast._ _

__Harry groaned in embarrassment and hid his face in Louis’ shoulder, just wanting to leave the room._ _

__‘You’re not wrong,’ Louis grinned. ‘Do we have any food in?’_ _

__Zayn shook his head ruefully._ _

__‘Sorry, Lou. I had the last of the Coco Pops and milk. The ratio is terrible though, not enough milk.’_ _

__Louis rolled his eyes and shrugged Harry off of him to face him._ _

__‘Any chance you’ve got any food at your place, Curly?’_ _

__‘I might do, no harm in checking. There’s a chip shop just at the end of my street if there isn’t.’_ _

__Louis beamed at him and pulled him close again._ _

__‘Sounds perfect,’ he said, pecking him on the cheek. ‘We’ll see you later, Zaynie poo!’_ _

__‘See you later, guys!’ Zayn called. ‘Oh, and don’t forget you’ve got your crowd performance tonight, Lou. Try not to be late, you know Paul sometimes rings me when you’re not on time, right?’_ _

__Louis was already out the door before Zayn had finished his sentence, tugging Harry along by the wrist like an excited child. Zayn would have found being ignored irritating if he weren’t so happy that his best friend had found someone who could make him scream like a porn star._ _

__-_ _

__The short walk to Harry’s flat was filled with mindless chatter about nothing and everything, and before they knew it they were outside of his door only to find it already open. Louis had instinctively pounced in front of Harry as though to protect him from whatever thug had broken in, but Harry had just laughed and pushed his way through. Louis had been both cautious and puzzled until he followed him in to see a small blonde cheerfully perched by the kitchen sink, munching his way through a slice of cheese-on-toast._ _

__‘I’m sorry, mate, but I ran out of food,’ he was explaining through a mouthful of bread, eerily echoing the situation they’d had with Zayn not twenty minutes ago._ _

__‘Yes and I’ve said that it’s fine for you to help yourself, but now I don’t have any food, you twat,’ Harry scolded half-heartedly, clearly too used to the scenario to put too much effort into it._ _

__‘Said I was sorry,’ he said after swallowing, allowing Louis to pick up on his Irish brogue – this must be Niall._ _

__He scooted a bit further into the kitchen so that he could make his presence known, finding himself smiling as soon as Niall beamed at him – his Irish charm was clearly infectious._ _

__‘Mornin’, mate!’ he chirped brightly, hopping down from the counter to bound over and hold out his hand. ‘Harry, aren’t you going to introduce us?’ he asked though it was obvious he already knew._ _

__Harry stood grinning at the pair of them, happy to have two of his favourite people in the same room as each other, and he moved over to wrap an arm around Louis’ shoulders._ _

__‘’course,’ he smiled. ‘This is—‘_ _

__‘—Louis, I’m just Harry’s friend,’ Louis cut in quickly, shaking Niall’s hand, but not missing the odd look that flittered across his puppy-like face at the interjection._ _

__Harry’s arm jerked away from Louis like he had been burnt, contrasting with the cold that was settling over him. Louis’ offhandedly spoken words cut deeper than he would have liked to admit, and his heart was turning into something heavy and sinkable as the term rolled over in his mind. Just Harry’s friend._ _

__That stung._ _


	13. Chapter 13

The rest of the day had been laced with tension, only for once it wasn’t the kind that had them wanting to rip off each other’s clothes. This tension was exactly what it said on the tin – _tense_. 

Louis wasn’t blind to the way Harry had reacted to his words, but his efforts to protect himself urged him into feigned ignorance. He pretended to not notice the cold space where Harry’s arm should have been around him and he pretended not to notice how Harry’s smile didn’t reach his eyes for the rest of the day.

Louis didn’t act any differently toward him, he still sat with his hand brushing the back of his neck and he still pressed affectionate kisses into his curls. The difference came from the other end of the bridge. The shoulder he touched didn’t shrug up into his touch, it just stiffened, and the pecks on the cheek weren’t returned. Harry still laughed at his cheesy jokes, but it was hollow and slowly unravelling Louis’ resolve. 

It was almost painful to not be able to make Harry’s eyes sparkle and he found himself back at that strange bar again, the very first time he had seen this side of Harry. That night when Harry had talked about his family, the corners of his mouth downturned and his eyes sad, Louis’ only wish had been to make him happy again, but he couldn’t wrap Harry up in promises of relationships just to make him smile when it might all come back to punch him in the face the days Harry realises there are better prospects. 

He had to keep subtly pinching himself on the thigh to prevent the guilty lump in his throat from choking him completely, trying to stay in the conversation but watching the clock impatiently for when he could excuse himself to get ready for work. Harry seemed to be turning himself more and more away from him and toward Niall instead anyway, effectively cutting him out and leaving him to pick absent-mindedly at his fish and chips. If anything he wished Harry would just ask him to leave because this was getting hard to take. It was only when Niall started talking about his latest conquest that it became almost unbearable. 

‘She was just so up for it that it was almost off-putting, you know?’ Niall was saying.

‘Yeah, guess it can be a bit weird when they’re gagging for it like that. Why didn’t you ask her out first or something?’ Harry asked, forking some chips into his mouth.

Niall shrugged. ‘If I’m being honest, I only really wanted some sex. Didn’t want her to think I was in it for something more.’

Harry nodded thoughtfully as he chewed. ‘Yeah, it’s a good job you didn’t make her wait else she would have thought you really liked her.’

Louis froze, simultaneously feeling hot all over. He knew he might be being paranoid, but there was something biting in Harry’s words, like he wasn’t just talking about this girl.

‘Yeah, I guess so,’ Niall replied. ‘She was nice and everything, but I —‘

‘I mean, it’s not like you built it up to be this great big thing only to act as though nothing had changed once it was done,’ Harry cut in sharply, taking Niall by surprise. 

Louis had no doubt in his mind that this was for his benefit and quickly removed his arm from around Harry’s shoulders as they began to shake with suppressed rage.

‘Harry, wha—‘ Niall began, only to be cut off again when Harry stood up suddenly, still facing Niall even though it was clear who he was really talking to.

‘It’s not like she was kicked out of her house when she was a fucking teenager and thought that maybe she had found someone who wouldn’t abandon her,’ he continued, his voice raising with each word, making Louis shrink back into the sofa. ‘It’s not like she would have waited because she really wanted to make things work between the two of you.’

His hands were bunched into fists now as he advanced upon a scared-looking Niall.

‘And it’s not like you fed her some fucking bullshit story about trust when it turns out _you’re_ the one who just wanted to fuck,’ Harry shouted, his face red as he jabbed a finger violently at Niall.

He glared down at Niall angrily until he squeaked in confusion and then finally turned to face Louis, who was cowering in shame.

‘But what’s a little bit of sex when you’re _just friends_?’ he spat.

‘H-Harry, I —‘ Louis stuttered, but he was already storming out of the room. 

He winced when he heard a door slam and slumped down defeatedly.

Niall coughed awkwardly after he resumed his own composure, not sure if it was his place to say anything, but was glad when Louis looked up at him.

‘Why am I such a twat?’ Louis asked pathetically.

Niall gave a little laugh.

‘Listen, mate. I don’t know what happened with you two but I like you and I don’t believe you’re just using him for sex. I’m not going to meddle, but just think about what Harry’s been through, yeah? From what I can gather, I’m surprised it wasn’t _him_ that made you wait given what’s happened with him over the past few years.’

Louis sagged even more, guilt creeping over him. 

‘I just… I don’t want to rush anything.’

It was mostly true after all and it seemed enough to make Niall smile brightly at him.

‘Then go tell him that,’ he said simply. ‘And just remember… he doesn’t have many people around for him, so don’t push him away.’

Louis nodded and stood up slowly, knowing what he had to do.

‘Which one’s his room?’

Niall beamed, standing up as well and shrugging on his jacket.

‘It’s the one right at the end of the hall,’ he said.

‘Thanks, mate,’ Louis sighed.

He waited until the front door closed behind Niall before following in Harry’s angry footsteps to the closed door at the end of the corridor. He listened for a minute, pressing his ear to the wood for any sounds that would discourage him from going inside, but he was only met with silence. 

He still found himself searching for reasons to not go in, reasons to not confront Harry with his own stupid issues. He just knew it would hurt his feelings, but Harry didn’t know that it was better for both of them. 

His hand felt heavy as he lifted it to knock on the door, making sure it was loud enough to be heard. He knew Harry must be ignoring him when he didn’t respond for a full minute, but he knocked again anyway, twice as loud. When there was still no response, he tested the handle and, finding it unlocked, he pushed the door open with a deep breath.

He found himself in a reasonably spacious room, though it was a bit bland for his taste when his own room was spattered with photos of his family and friends from Doncaster. With a jolt he realised that Harry probably didn’t want or have any reminders of the life he had to abandon and the guilt in his stomach twisted harder. Harry himself was standing in front of a large window, staring out of it blankly as though lost in thought. His hands were unfurled at his sides and Louis hoped it was a good sign. Steeling himself just in case there was another outburst, he tried to figure out what to say, but only one thing seemed to be able to fill the silence.

‘I’m sorry, Harry.’

Harry’s hand twitched, making Louis flinch instinctively like he expected him to turn around and punch him in the face. Instead he heard a long resigned exhale of breath, followed by the voice that had charmed him since it slurred out his name.

‘I’m sorry too.’

That startled Louis to say the least – Harry had nothing to be sorry for. 

‘Why the hell are y—‘

Harry turned around to reveal red rimmed eyes, effectively cutting off Louis’ voice as concern took over, moving him a couple of steps closer.

‘I shouldn’t have gotten so mad like that,’ Harry mumbled in a small voice.

Louis was speechless, having been almost certain that it would be him wringing his hands nervously and speaking like a child to an angry parent.

‘I mean, I know we haven’t been together that long, if we’re even together, but I don’t know, I just really like you and I guess I just forgot we hadn’t made things, like, exclusive or anything. I had no right, Lou.’

Louis couldn’t stop himself from crossing the distance and wrapping his arms around Harry, not realising just how much he missed the warmth of him even though it hadn’t been long since they were sat side by side. He pressed his face into the crook of his neck as Harry relaxed and brought his own arms up to hug him back.

‘You don’t have to apologise for anything, Curly,’ Louis whispered softly. ‘I’m a dick.’

Harry chuckled and turned his head to press his nose into his hair.

‘That’s true, but it doesn’t change anything. I guess I’m just a bit… sensitive or something.’

‘It’s okay, Harry,’ he soothed, moving one of his hands to rub little circles at the base of his spine. ‘I understand.’

‘No, you don’t,’ Harry sighed sadly. ‘And I don’t ever want you to. You have the perfect family life and it’s just everything that I want.’

Louis could feel his heart breaking for the man in his arms and he nuzzled into the soft skin of his neck. He just wanted to fix him.

‘Maybe you can get it back,’ he suggested gently.

He immediately regretted it when Harry’s body went rigid again and the lips disappeared from the side of his head.

‘You know I can’t,’ Harry said stiffly.

Louis pulled away slightly so he could face him properly, his stomach dropping when he took in his tight-lipped expression. He knew he shouldn’t push the issue, but he couldn’t help but feel that if Harry just tried then maybe he would be happier.

‘A lot can change in three years, Harry. Your mum might not even be with that guy anymore.’

‘Don’t!’ Harry shouted unexpectedly, pushing himself away from Louis and backing up until he hit the window sill. ‘Don’t act like you know anything about this! You don’t know shit, Louis.’

Louis stood helplessly, his arms feeling inexplicably empty. He could see that Harry was getting angry again, but something was stopping him from dropping it.

‘But Harry, anything could have happened,’ he said, trying to keep his voice soft and encouraging. ‘She might have been trying to contact you for years, but you’re the only one who can —‘

‘Just shut the fuck up, Louis!’ Harry exclaimed, clenching his fists at his sides again. ‘You think that I want to go back home only to be kicked out again? You have no idea how it fucking feels to have to leave everyone you love behind!’

‘I left my family behi—‘

‘No, you fucking didn’t!’ Harry exploded. ‘You moved by choice! You can go see your family any fucking time you want, but I can’t.’

Louis could feel his lip trembling and he felt like he was six years old again, but he would take a telling off from his mother over this any day. He knew that most of Harry’s anger wasn’t directed at him, that it was mostly just unresolved pain from his past, but he hated that he had done something to evoke this reaction. He hated that Harry didn’t want him to help.

‘B-but, Harry—‘ he tried, his voice cracking as a pathetic tear slipped down his cheek.

‘Just fucking stop, Louis! You can’t do anything!’ Harry raged, turning around to look out of the window again, his knuckles white where they held onto the sill. 

‘I just want to help,’ Louis whispered miserably.

‘How can you help when you don’t have a fucking clue?’ he bit out irritably, his arms shaking with the force of his grip.

Louis didn’t know what to say, instead daring to shuffle forward and extend a hand to touch Harry’s shoulder.

What happened next was almost too quick for it to register. One minute he was standing and reaching out pitifully and the next he was lying on the floor, cheek burning, with a stunned Harry standing over him. Before he could even consider what had transpired, Harry was kneeling by his side and cradling his head in his hands, apologies tumbling out of his mouth nineteen to the dozen.

‘Oh my god, Lou, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean it, I’m so sorry, please forgive me, please don’t cry, I don’t know why I did it, Louis, please, say something, don’t hate me, please, don’t go, don’t leave me,’ he babbled, bowing his head low so each plea brushed against Louis’ forehead. 

Harry’s palm felt strangely hot against his stinging cheek and then he realised. 

Harry had _slapped_ him.

He sat up suddenly, slipping out of Harry’s grasp and turning to face him in shock.

‘You… you slapped me,’ he said incredulously.

Harry’s eyes were spilling over with tears as he crawled forward on his knees, hands reaching out for him.

‘I-I don’t know why I did it. You touched me and I was mad and I turned and my hand just… it just _hit_ you, Lou,’ he explained brokenly. ‘I don’t hit people, please don’t think I do that. I would never hurt you, not ever.’

Louis stared at him, unsure of what his reaction was supposed to be. Whatever he or Harry had been expecting it wasn’t laughter, but once Louis started he couldn’t stop even when it made his sore cheek ache. Harry’s mouth fell open as he stared at him in disbelief, letting his hands fall to brush the carpet instead, worrying that he had actually slapped Louis into a concussion.

‘Louis…?’

Louis tried to breathe, but there was something too funny about the situation and it took him a few goes before he was able to put a cork in it.

‘I’m sorry, Curly, it’s just that, well, you slapped me,’ he said a little breathlessly, only making Harry’s eyebrows furrow even more. 

He sighed, shaking his head and smiling, as he scooted forward to brush the tears away from Harry’s cheeks. 

‘Think about it, Harry. _You_ slapped me. You, Harry Styles, the guy who downs vodka just to be able to sit in a strip club for half an hour,’ he continued, cupping Harry’s damp face as he spoke. ‘Harry Styles who could barely even say his name when he first met me. Harry Styles, who I’m pretty sure couldn’t hurt a fucking fly, slapped me, Louis Tomlinson, a stripper with twice the upper body strength. Don’t you see how that’s funny?’

Harry’s lips twitched upward slightly and Louis caught the edges with his thumbs to pull them into a cheesy smile, but it fell as soon as he took his hands away.

‘I know you didn’t mean it, Curly,’ he murmured, resting his hands on his thighs instead.

Harry looked down at the floor, clearly still ashamed with himself and took a wobbly breath before speaking.

‘It was an accident, Lou, you have to know that,’ he mumbled, placing his hands on top of Louis’ and squeezing them gently. ‘The last thing I want to do is hurt you. I guess it’s just because I can’t hit myself. I’m just so frustrated.’

Louis smiled at him and leant in closer to capture his lips in a sweet kiss.

‘I forgive you, Haz,’ he said against his lips. ‘I just want you to be happy.’

His heart fluttered with relief when he felt the small smile against his mouth.

‘I thought you only called me Haz when we had sex?’ Harry smirked, the tears now dried from his face.

Louis grinned and moved his hands to Harry’s shoulders, giving him a little shove so he was lying flat on his back.

‘Good job I’m about to fuck you into the floor then.’


	14. Chapter 14

Harry kissed him goodbye at the door two hours later, wincing when Louis’ hand dropped to grope his sore bum.

‘Shit, sorry, Curly,’ he smirked unapologetically against his lips. ‘Maybe I should go easier next time.’

‘Arsehole,’ Harry mumbled.

‘That’s the one,’ Louis giggled filthily. ‘You sure you don’t want to come to the show tonight?’

‘Nah, I’ve only just gotten used to you humping Zayn. It’ll take me a little longer to be able to enjoy one of your Saturday shows. Unless you’re going to be choosing me again?’ he added hopefully.

Louis chuckled happily, stroking a hand down Harry’s cheek and resting it on his collarbone.

‘I’m afraid my regulars would get pissed off if they realised I’d picked on the same guy twice in a row,’ he murmured, leaning forward to kiss down his neck. ‘No matter how sexy that guy might be.’

‘Lou,’ Harry breathed, spanning his large hands across Louis’ arse. ‘Don’t tease me now.’

‘Not teasing,’ Louis replied simply, nipping at the skin before standing back and holding Harry’s waist at arm’s length. ‘Just saying my bye byes.’ 

Harry sighed blissfully, Louis’ childish wording tickling the fluffy part of his heart while his strong hands made him feel less innocent things.

‘Just fuck off then,’ Harry said playfully. ‘And come back here afterwards?’

Louis’ eyes lit up and he pressed a small kiss to Harry’s lips. ‘Nowhere I’d rather be,’ he whispered.

With that, he was sashaying down the corridor, waving at someone Harry couldn’t see until a flash of blonde hair whipped out of the door down the hall before ducking back in again when Harry noticed. He shook his head fondly as Louis disappeared down the stairs and Niall’s door closed not so subtly.

‘I’ve got Hobnobs,’ he said loudly, waddling back into his flat and leaving his own door wide open.

Sure enough, he was just easing himself down onto his sofa when he heard Niall’s door open and close again, followed by a scampering down the corridor that ended with a cheerful face in his doorway. 

‘I wasn’t spying on you,’ Niall defended, moving toward Harry’s kitchen with practised ease. ‘I was on my way over anyway, but then I saw you were… occupied.’

Harry just snorted and flicked on the television, waiting for his friend to drop into the space next to him.

‘I take it you two made up then?’

Harry blushed, remembering the way he had blown up at Niall before fleeing to his bedroom like a child having a tantrum.

‘Yeah… I’m sorry about that, mate. Don’t know why I got so worked up.’

Niall clapped him on the back reassuringly.‘No worries, buddy. You were probably just man-struating,’ he joked.

‘Cheers for that,’ Harry laughed, glad to have someone so easy-going in his life.

Niall beamed at him, stuffing another biscuit whole into his mouth. ‘So you two are okay?’

‘Yeah,’ Harry nodded. ‘It was just me getting ahead of myself really.’

Niall paused in his chewing and raised an eyebrow.

‘Yeah?’ he said unsurely. ‘So you apologised to him?’

Harry turned to look at him curiously.

‘Why wouldn’t I?’

Niall blanched, suddenly feeling on the spot, having left the flat earlier under the impression that Louis was going to apologise to Harry. It looked like Harry was taking the blame completely and it made him wonder if Louis had gotten round to explaining himself at all.

‘Niall?’

Harry was watching him closely and he knew he couldn’t lie.

‘It’s just, well, after you stormed off I had a sort of chat with Louis,’ he began awkwardly. ‘And I got the feeling that he was going after you to apologise for being kinda vague on the whole ‘what are we’ cliché.’

‘Oh.’

Harry thought back to the conversation they’d had in his bedroom, realising that he had cut Louis off and then proceeded to flip his top again, before slapping him like a bitch and giving himself something else entirely to apologise for.

‘Well I guess I didn’t really give him a chance to say anything,’ Harry acknowledged. ‘So… what did he say to you?’

‘It wasn’t anything much,’ Niall shrugged. ‘Just that he didn’t want to rush into anything.’ He caught the worried look on his friend’s face and rushed to continue with his own thoughts. ‘But I don’t think it’s anything against you. I more got the sense that it’s ‘cause he’s scared or something.’

Harry frowned. ‘He’s scared? Surely it would make more sense for me to be the one with issues like that given that well… you know.’

‘Yeah, I know,’ Niall agreed stuffing another Hobnob into his mouth. ‘I think he just needs some kind of grand gesture, you know? To reassure him that you’re not gonna ditch him.’

‘Like what? I’m hardly going to get down on bended knee after two weeks.’

‘I’m not saying do anything big like that, but maybe just let him know that you’re serious about the two of you,’ Niall suggested. ‘That way he’ll feel safe in admitting it too.’

Harry nodded, stealing a biscuit for himself and nibbling at it thoughtfully. 

‘Well, there is something I could do…’

-

‘Thanks for picking me up,’ Louis said, sliding into the passenger seat after his show.

‘Don’t get used to this,’ Zayn warned. ‘You’re lucky you texted me when you did, else I wouldn’t have bothered. I was just coming out of Tesco.’

Louis smirked and looked over his shoulder to the backseat where he saw the bags of shopping.

‘Anything fun?’ he asked hopefully.

Zayn rolled his eyes as he pulled out into the main road. ‘Depends how much you enjoy potatoes and toothpaste.’

Louis shrugged, facing forward again. ‘You could have some fun with toothpaste.’

‘Urgh, I don’t want to know what you do with toothpaste,’ Zayn said, scrunching his face up as Louis laughed.

‘I’m just kidding, but I — wait, wait, wait, don’t go that way! Turn left at the lights,’ he said, trying to get his hands on the steering wheel.

‘Get the fuck off, Lou!’ Zayn shouted, swatting him away. ‘You’ll be the fucking death of me.’

‘Oopsie,’ Louis snickered, settling back down once they had made the correct turning. ‘You’re taking me to Harry’s.’

Zayn raised his eyebrows, shooting Louis a sidelong glance.

‘Oh yeah? Things getting serious now you've consummated your relationship?’

Louis bit his lip, the question making him wriggle uncomfortably in his seat.

‘Lou? Something wrong?’

Louis sighed guiltily and relayed the events of the day to his best friend, from meeting Niall right up to the moment just before he had fucked Harry in both forgiveness and apology. Zayn stayed silent –aside from the occasional disapproving tut – until he finished and they were outside Harry’s building.

‘Sounds to me like you’re a twat,’ Zayn said, jerking on the handbrake.

Louis didn’t even bother denying it.

‘Yeah, I know,’ he said heavily. ‘Can’t you see where I’m coming from though?’

Zayn drummed his fingers on the wheel pensively.

‘I guess I can. Just seems that the more you try and ‘protect’ yourself from it, the more you’re going to hurt Harry and that’ll just hurt you anyway and you know it. You gotta live for the moment, Lou, and if you carry on acting like Harry’s going to vanish at the end of every day, you’re just going to be miserable.’

Louis leant forward to rest his forehead on the dashboard. He hated how much sense Zayn made.

‘But have you seen him?’ he whined. ‘He’s like an angel. I can’t hold on to a fucking angel.’

Zayn snorted good-naturedly and patted his friend on the back.

‘Angels don’t moan like that, mate.’

Louis smirked despite himself and sat up, looking out the window at the block of flats set against the twinkling night sky.

‘I guess you’re right.’

-

Harry perched himself on the edge of his sofa, eyeing the clock on the wall as it ticked closer to midnight. He knew Louis must have finished his set by now and he didn’t want to worry himself, but every minute Louis wasn’t here was a minute where Harry wondered where he was. He closed his eyes and sat back, remembering where he had been this time last week.

It was strange to think how much had changed since that day: since Louis had pulled him on stage, since he had poured his heart out to him in that bar… since their first kiss. A dreamy smile found its way onto his face – he had never considered it as being their first kiss before, it made it all seem more real. He fell into a state of calm sleepiness and, before he knew it, he was out like a light. 

It was a pleasant dream, whatever it was. It was mostly just blurry shapes and bright colours, but he felt oddly peaceful and settled. Something like a plush feather was stroking his cheek and he just wanted to stay with it forever despite the interference that was buzzing like a radio in the background. He would have been irritated by it but he couldn’t bring himself to care, especially when it sounded like it was chanting his name.

‘ _Harry, Harry, Harry_.’

It was getting louder and the feather was growing more persistent as it brushed his face, until it unexpectedly left his cheek completely and was replaced by a purple rubber bullfrog. As soon as it slapped him, he jolted out of his slumber and came face to face with someone who somehow looked nothing and everything like his dream.

‘Louis?’ he said groggily. ‘The fuck?’

Louis giggled from where he crouched in front of him and ran a hand over the pink mark he had left on Harry’s cheek. 

‘Now we’re even on the slapping front, Styles,’ he said playfully. ‘Taught you a lesson as well.’

Harry struggled to sit up properly, rubbing his hand over his eyes so he could fully appreciate the view. Louis stood up in front of him, his jogging bottoms low on his hips and his t-shirt unusually baggy, dragging down to show off his tanned collarbones and chest hair.

‘Taught me a lesson?’ he asked quizzically.

‘Yeah, dickhead,’ Louis grinned, dropping onto the sofa next to him. ‘Leaving your door unlocked at this time of night? Anyone could have come in here and watched you sleep like the adorable little fucker that you are. You’re lucky it was only me.’

Harry considered him for a few moments before turning away, his cheeks pink. ‘Yeah, I am lucky,’ he mumbled shyly.

‘You softy,’ Louis smiled, pulling Harry’s face around by the chin. ‘Good job I like you when you’re soft—‘ he pressed his lips to Harry’s. ‘And when you’re hard.’

He slid his hand to Harry’s lap to rub over his crotch, feeling the soft shape of his dick, and started stroking it into hardness.

‘Lou,’ Harry breathed, lifting his hips up into the touch.

‘I missed you tonight,’ Louis whispered, his lips teasing Harry’s ear. ‘Kept imagining it was you I had up on stage.’

Harry whimpered as Louis’ hand snuck beneath his waistband, seeking out the hot and heavy weight of his cock. His fingers curled around the length easily and began to pump it in time with the kisses he was painting on the exposed skin of Harry’s neck and ear. 

‘So big and smooth,’ he murmured, pulling Harry’s cock free completely, licking his lips when he saw the shiny pink tip. 

Harry mewled against the cool air and warm heat of Louis’ hand, his head tipping back and exposing the column of his throat to hungry lips. Louis continued to work his hand on Harry as he licked his pointed tongue from the dip in Harry’s collar bones up to the underside of his chin.

‘Mmm, you taste this good everywhere, Haz?’ he murmured, not giving him a chance to answer before bowing his head to suck on the head, deciding he quite enjoyed the strangely sweet taste of his pre-come.

Harry’s groan choked in his throat as he thrust impulsively into Louis’ mouth, hitting the back of his throat which Louis just took in his stride. He moaned around the intrusion, using one of his hands to roll Harry’s balls gently in his hand.

‘Fucking hell, Lou,’ Harry gasped, threading his fingers through the hair bobbing over his lap. ‘You’re good at this.’

Louis would have smiled if he didn’t have a mouthful and instead moved his hand to the base of Harry’s cock, stroking through the hair that grew there and grazing his fingers down the creases of his groin. 

‘Oh god,’ Harry breathed. ‘I don’t think I can last.’

Louis took this as a sign to speed up, hollowing his cheeks and dragging his tongue, feeling Harry shudder and stiffen repeatedly under the hand he held on his hip. He knew it wouldn’t take long and the thought of having Harry come in his mouth was enough to make him moan, the vibrations around his cock proving to be too much for Harry. He spilt over into Louis’ mouth hotly as he grunted, half-wrecked and half-awed at how artfully Louis swallowed everything before letting his softening cock slip out of his mouth.

‘Yep, yummy everywhere,’ Louis declared, voice hoarse.

For the first time Harry was grateful for sex flush so Louis wouldn’t realise he had made him blush yet again. 

-

‘Hey, Lou?’ Harry asked in bed later that night. 

‘Not now, Curly. I’m shattered,’ Louis mumbled, pushing himself further back into Harry’s warm body.

Harry chuckled to himself. Once he had caught his breath earlier, Harry had returned the favour and done such a good job with both his mouth and fingers, that Niall had banged on the wall that connected their living rooms and told them to fuck off to the bedroom. They had felt like naughty schoolchildren, chasing each other into bed where they were too worn out for anything other than snuggling down under the covers, Louis shotgunning the position of little spoon.

‘Not that, idiot,’ Harry said, stroking his hand down Louis’ bare side. ‘I’ve got something to ask you.’

Louis turned over so he was facing Harry, the early morning light casting a uniquely celestial glow on him that reminded him of his earlier conversation with Zayn.

‘What’s up, babe?’ Louis asked, placing his hand on Harry’s hip.

‘Remember what you said earlier? You know, before I urm… before I slapped you?’

‘No need to be ashamed of that, Harry. I’ve already gotten you back for it,’ Louis grinned. ‘But yeah, I remember.’

Harry took a wobbly breath, steeling himself. ‘I was thinking that, well, you’re right.’

Louis’ forehead creased in confusion and he propped himself up on one elbow. ‘Right about what?’

‘About how I won’t know if I’ve really lost anything unless I go looking for it,’ Harry clarified, avoiding Louis’ eyes and talking more to his chest. ‘Well, I think I’m ready, but only as long as you come with me. I think I, I want you there with me and I want you to know how much I need you there with me.’

Louis’ breathing was low and his mind was racing. If Harry was suggesting what he thought he was, then this could be the turning point for both of them. This could be what brought down the barriers for Louis and what gave Harry the closure he needed to be truly happy. He could feel himself panicking, but he remembered Zayn’s words and instead embraced the sensation that his heart was about to burst out of his chest.

He curled a finger under Harry’s chin, tilting his face up toward him. ‘Harry?’

Harry’s eyes were wide and slightly fearful as they gazed into Louis’, completely open and sincere.

‘Yeah, Lou?’

Louis took hold of Harry’s hands and clasped them with his between their bare chests, brushing their lips together and delicately kissing both of his eyelids and the tip of his nose.

‘I’ll find them with you.’

-

‘Is that your stepdad?’ Louis asked quietly, as they approached Harry’s childhood home, the car slowing down to a crawl.

Harry looked up from where he was staring at his white knuckles on the steering wheel, his face pale. He could see a man standing in the front garden washing a Volvo and a little of the tension left his shoulders when he didn’t recognise him. This guy was round and friendly where Rich had been hard and mean.

‘It’s not him,’ he said almost inaudibly, hearing Louis’ sigh of relief beside him. ‘I guess they moved.’

‘Okay,’ Louis smiled, unbuckling his seatbelt. ‘Let’s go ask him if he knows where they went, yeah?’

Harry exhaled long and low, his other hand anxiously gripping the gear stick.

‘Yeah,’ he breathed shakily. ‘I suppose.’

‘Harry?’ Louis’ voice was kind with concern and his hand came to rest gently over Harry’s on the gearstick. ‘You don’t have to do this, babe, not if you don’t want to. You don’t have to prove anything to me.’

Harry looked into Louis’ eyes, bright and earnest, feeling the tug that couldn’t be ignored. He flipped his hand upward so he could lace their fingers together, feeling a little lighter when Louis’ thumb rubbed his skin soothingly.

‘I’m doing this for myself as well, Lou,’ he said softly. ‘But it’s all because of you.’

Louis positively beamed at him, showing all of his teeth including that one crooked tooth at the bottom, the one that Harry loved more than was rational.

‘Let’s get this show on the road then, ay, gorgeous?’ he encouraged warmly.

Harry ducked his head to undo his seatbelt so Louis wouldn’t realise that his offhand compliments still left him blushing like a schoolgirl. 

‘Yeah, let’s go.’

Louis held his hand securely as they approached the man washing his car, stopping when they were standing by the boot and he was still scrubbing at the hood. Harry turned to Louis for guidance, but all he did was smile back at him and give him a small kick in the heel, prompting him into opening his mouth.

‘E-excuse me?’ he stammered, blushing furiously when the guy didn’t even look up. Clearing his throat, he spoke a little louder. ‘Excuse me?’

This time the man noticed them, smiling welcomingly and wringing his sponge.

‘Can I help you lads?’ he asked, moving forward with a friendly bounce in his step.

‘Urm, yeah,’ Harry started nervously, feeling his palm sweat where Louis held it. ‘I was just wondering if you knew where my m— Anne Cox has moved to?’

It seemed wrong to say her full name like that, like he was even more alien, but there was no other way to put it. He watched as the stranger walked a little bit closer, ignoring the bubbles that were dripping from the sponge in his hand until he was about a metre away from them.

Harry suddenly felt under scrutiny, slightly alarmed by the way the man was now flicking his gaze between his face and their linked hands. He was just about to turn to Louis for help when the man abruptly dropped his sponge on the ground and his face broke out into a grin that neither of them could understand.

‘If you come with me, I’m sure my wife could tell you where the family moved to,’ he said, striding quickly toward the open front door.

Louis pecked Harry on the cheek as they walked and slid an arm around his waist, supporting him as memories of the house made him weak at the knees the further toward it they followed the guy. Simple things like the colour of the brick and the gravel on the drive were overwhelming him and he was never more grateful for having someone at his side.

‘If you wait here, I’ll go get my wife,’ the man said cheerfully once they were stood on the doormat, scuttling off to where Harry knew the kitchen was.

They stepped into the hallway carefully, the familiar layout comforting, but still eerie enough for Harry to squeeze Louis’ hand tighter. He looked around, dimly surprised that the wallpaper was the same. He stared down self-consciously at his scuffed shoes on the clean carpet, and noticed that that hadn’t changed either. In fact, it was almost like —

‘Harry?’

He looked up at the sound of his name, the voice registering a second later when he saw who was standing down the hall with tears in their eyes. It was someone who he had broken his heart for repeatedly thinking he would never see again. It was someone who he was now running toward like a lost child, throwing himself unrestrainedly into their open arms. It was someone who was sobbing ‘my baby’ into his chest and hugging him like he would disappear at any moment.

‘ _Mum_.’


	15. Chapter 15

Twenty minutes later found the four of them in the living room, Harry tightly cocooned in his mother’s arms on the sofa as they whispered countless sentiments of ‘I love you’ and ‘I’ve missed you’ against each other’s skin. 

Louis had followed them inside and perched himself cautiously on the armchair opposite them. Part of him felt like he was intruding on a private moment, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away for long enough to leave. He was too entranced to even feel smug about being right and just watched in captivated silence.

‘I’m Robin, by the way,’ said a voice in his ear.

Louis was brought back to his senses with a jolt and turned away from the reunion to see the friendly face that was grinning just as widely as it had out on the driveway.

‘I’m Louis,’ he whispered back, smiling and holding out his hand.

‘Nice to meet you, Louis,’ Robin beamed, shaking his hand from where he crouched beside the chair. ‘This really is something, isn’t it? I can’t believe he’s here – I’m finally meeting my stepson.’

Louis’ heart swelled at his warm words. He could already tell from his seemingly permanent rosy-cheeked smile that Robin was the kind of father figure Harry needed. He found himself a bit choked up, hating how emotional he got at times like these, and just nodded his head with a small smile.

Robin’s grin softened until it held the same sentimental quality and he looked back over to where his wife was cuddling her son, prompting Louis to do the same. 

‘So how do you know Harry?’ he asked.

Louis didn’t answer immediately, finding it too easy to become totally enraptured by what was on the other sofa. Harry’s cheeks were dimpled and wet with happy tears as he smiled against his mother’s chest, like a schoolboy who was glad to be home after a tough day at school. His eyes were puffy from crying, but they were brighter than Louis had ever seen in the short time he had known him. 

Harry looked wholly content, basking in the attention he had been longing for all these years. Everything about him was joy and blissful vulnerability, held safe in a bubble that should never be burst. Louis couldn’t put into words what it meant for him to be here to witness this moment – everything about it was perfect. Harry was perfect. 

The words left his lips without a thought, but he knew that he meant them no matter how soon it might be.

‘I’m his boyfriend,’ he muttered, eyes still fixed on Harry.

Robin chuckled at his side and slapped him on the back heartily. ‘Good lad!’

Harry and his mum looked up, watery-eyed, at the sound of Robin’s voice, like they had just been jerked out of their own little world.

‘What are you talking about over there?’ Anne asked her husband, still running a hand down Harry’s back.

‘Nothing, dear,’ Robin smiled. ‘Just introducing myself to Louis.’

Anne’s eyes settled on Louis as if she had only just realised he was there and stood up abruptly, pushing Harry off of her lap.

‘Oh god, you must think I’m so rude!’ she fretted, wiping a hand across her eyes hurriedly. ‘I’m Anne.’

Louis smiled and held out his hand which she shook warmly, Harry’s Cheshire cat smile growing wider over her shoulder.

‘Don’t worry about it. I know you two have plenty of catching up to do,’ Louis assured. ‘I could go and come back to collect Harry la—‘

‘No!’

Harry’s loud voice sounded scared as he shot up off of the sofa. All three pairs of eyes turned to him and he blushed adorably.

‘I mean… you don’t have to go,’ he amended shyly. ‘I-I want you to stay.’

Louis was sure his heart was going to jump right out through his ribs and smack him across his face which already ached from all the smiling he was doing.

‘I’ll stay, Harry,’ he said, biting his lip so he wouldn’t look too goofy when Harry visibly let out the breath he had been holding.

Anne looked between them like she was just cottoning on and clasped her hand to her mouth with a quiet ‘ _oh_!’

Louis winked conspiratorially at her and sidled up to Harry, slinging an arm low around his hips.

Harry looked at him in mild surprise, before melting into his side and whispering in his ear a ‘thank you’ that Louis felt rather than heard.

‘Oh, _Harry_ ,’ Anne breathed. ‘Are you two, I mean… are you?’

Louis squeezed Harry’s hip and pressed a feather light kiss to his cheek, overwhelmed by the need to show him how much he already meant to him. He needed Harry to know that he wasn’t in it for the sex and that he wasn’t going to hold him at arm’s length for his own sake. He needed Harry to know that he remembered every detail that he had shared in that bar a week ago, subconsciously locking each word away in case he was ever all Harry had left. He needed Harry to know that the flush that appeared on his cheek after his lips touched it made his insides do silly little flips that made him want to slap himself. He needed _Harry_.

Louis turned back to face Anne who was watching with an expression akin to awe.

‘I’m his,’ he said simply.

There were fresh tears in Harry’s eyes after that.

-

‘You run a bakery? Oh, Harry!’ 

‘You have your own flat? My baby is so grown up!’

‘Your best friend is Irish? How exciting!’

Every new thing that Anne learnt about her son’s life she responded to with genuine enthusiasm even where it wasn’t due, leaning forward across the kitchen table and watching him like he was telling a fairytale. She only broke her gaze to beam at her husband beside her or to look over at Louis when he was brought into the story.

‘And then I met Louis when he was working a couple of weeks ago,’ Harry finished, and Louis almost didn’t believe that it wasn’t longer than that.

‘Where do you work, Louis?’ she asked interestedly.

Louis looked down at his lap briefly and bit back a smirk, wondering if this was where Anne’s fervour for all aspects of her son’s life would die down.

‘I work at a strip club.’

Harry choked on his spit, evidently a little surprised that Louis had just come out with it like that, but there was no other way for him to say it. Robin’s mouth dropped open a little and Anne just blinked at him. 

‘You mean you work at the bar?’ she chanced hesitantly.

Harry slid his hand onto his thigh, offering support even though he didn’t need it – he wasn’t ashamed of what he did.

‘Only at Christmas when I climb up on top of it to strip out of a slutty Santa costume,’ he chuckled.

She stared at him for a full ten seconds before Robin spoke up.

‘Me too, mate,’ he declared, patting his round stomach.

It was enough to break the transient tension, and soon Anne was laughing again and exclaiming how jealous she was that her son had a boyfriend with a body fit for stripping.

‘Yeah, I’m pretty lucky,’ Harry admitted, making Louis blush in a way that only he could.

‘Oh, baby, I’m so glad to see you happy,’ Anne sniffed, her eyes watering from laughing so hard. ‘When you left I didn—‘

She cut herself off quickly. The conversation hadn’t turned in that direction yet, everyone carefully dancing around the fact that there was a reason why they hadn’t seen each other for so long.

Louis felt Harry take a deep breath and gripped his hand where it still rested on his thigh.

‘It’s okay, Mum. We can talk about it,’ he said slowly.

Robin placed a comforting arm around his wife’s shoulders as she bowed her head to hide her face. Louis could feel the atmosphere grow heavier and he shuffled his chair closer to Harry, sharing body heat and reminding him that he was there.

‘You have to know that I wanted you to stay,’ she started quietly. ‘I’d never treat you any differently, whether it was girls you liked or boys.’ She looked up and gave Louis a small smile. ‘Especially if that person makes you happy.’

Harry nodded slightly, reserving himself.

‘But Rich was a scary man. I couldn’t stand up to him and if I went looking for you, I’d be leaving Gem alone with him and who knows what I would come back to. I truly wanted to though, Harry. Go looking for you, I mean.’ She heaved out another breath and reached across the table to hold his free hand. ‘You must know that if I could have then I would, but not only did I not want to leave your sister, but I had no idea where to start. I just thought that maybe you would try and contact me when you could.’

‘I didn’t think you’d want to hear from me,’ he admitted shamefully.

‘Oh, Harry, no! I couldn’t eat for worrying about you, baby.’

Harry’s shoulders sagged guiltily, but Anne rushed to console him.

‘Don’t feel like any of this was your fault, okay? It was all him.’

Harry nodded solemnly and turned his attention to where Louis’ thumb was rubbing over the back of his hand, easing the tension out of his knuckles. He watched as Louis gently turned his hand over and slotted their fingers together and he clasped back needily.

‘Okay,’ Harry mumbled eventually. ‘So, urm… what happened to him?’

To his surprise, his mum’s eyes lit up immediately and she leant back in her chair, the worry lines smoothed off of her face.

‘I kicked him out,’ she said proudly. ‘About a year and a half ago. Should have done it years and years ago, but I was an idiot and after losing you I definitely didn’t have the strength to do it. It was la—’

‘ _I’m home_!’

Anne was interrupted by a singsong voice coming from the hallway and Harry’s heart jumped into his throat. He squeezed Louis’ hand tightly and looked at him with tears already in his eyes. Louis was already watching him curiously, but in a split second he seemed to understand and his beautiful face split into another grin and Harry’s did the same.

A young woman swanned into the room a minute later, flicking her dark hair over her shoulder and making a beeline for the fridge, completely oblivious to who was sat around the table.

‘Do we have any cheese?’ she asked, her head stuck in the fridge.

Harry was smiling so hard he thought his face might crack, but he found his voice.

‘Shouldn’t you have moved somewhere with your own fridge by now?’ he asked.

He heard a distinct choking sound before Gemma’s head reappeared from behind the fridge door. Her eyes widened dramatically and she dropped the celery stick she held in her hand, her feet taking her a few wobbly steps before she had to stop. She started shaking her head in disbelief, but her mouth was already stretching into the familiar smile that Harry wanted to paint on his skin.

‘Harry?’ she whispered incredulously.

‘Hey, Gem,’ Harry said softly.

Anne let out a stifled sob and even Robin had to clear his throat. Louis was openly crying.

Harry felt him disentwine their fingers, nudging him into standing up and as soon as he was on his feet, his sister was hurtling herself at him so he stumbled back against the kitchen counter. She wrapped her arms around him so tight he could barely breathe, but he clung to her just as desperately, burying his face in her hair as she half-sobbed, half-laughed against him.

‘You came back! I can’t believe you came back!’ she cried, nearly hysterical. 

‘Of course I did,’ Harry mumbled against the top of her head and she made a loud, strangled noise, like she couldn’t express all of what she was feeling.

She pulled away to look at him properly, reminding him of the times when they’d go shopping together and she would pick out outfits for him to try on so his long teen body didn’t look quite so awkward.

‘You’re so _big_ ,’ she said finally, still shaking her head and beaming.

Harry laughed delightedly and her face lit up at the sound, but a snigger from behind them caught her attention. 

They both turned to look at Louis whose face was blotchy red with emotional tears, but whose mouth was pulled up mischievously and Harry knew that he had taken her ‘big’ comment the wrong way. Louis instantly reassembled his face into something more suitable with a new shade of red on his face, but Gemma was already stepping further away from Harry and reaching for his hand instead like they used to do at the supermarket when they were little.

‘Who’s this?’ she asked, wiping away her tears in the same hasty fashion that her mother had. 

Louis sprung to his feet, obviously trying to make a good impression after embarrassing himself, and Harry didn’t think he’d ever seen anything quite as endearing as a flustered Louis.

‘I’m Louis,’ he introduced, holding out his hand as he had already done twice before.

However, unlike with the parents, Gemma didn’t shake it. Instead, she stared at it before looking back up at her little brother questioningly.

‘Is this your boyfriend, Harry?’

Harry nearly spluttered, but Louis was butting in again and thrusting his hand further toward her.

‘Yes, I am,’ he confirmed, his confidence seeming to feed off of how jittery the question made Harry.

Gemma once again ignored him, still watching Harry’s face.

‘Is he?’

Harry was too busy staring at Louis to answer immediately. His dainty features were set determinedly and his hand was still firmly held out in front of him. It was like he wasn’t going to back down and the thought nearly had Harry jumping into his arms.

He looked back at Gemma, whose lips were already curving upward.

‘Yeah,’ he breathed. ‘He is.’

Her own dimples showed then and she turned to face Louis whose hand was nearly jabbing her in the throat. She freed her own hand from Harry’s and used it to swat Louis’ away, earning her a momentary look of panic from both boys before she leant forward and hugged him instead.

Harry watched Louis’ face morph from shock to glee over Gemma’s shoulder, his arms coming up to wrap around her shoulders and squeeze back.

‘It’s great to meet you,’ she whispered in his ear.

‘You too,’ Louis replied, looking directly at Harry as he said it.

Harry felt lighter than air and he moved forward to join them, encompassing their bodies with his long arms. It was an action met with a loud exclamation from their mother who couldn’t seem to sit out any longer as she rushed to become part of the hug, Robin’s arm still around her shoulders. 

Among the mess of hair and limbs, Harry manoeuvred his head so his lips pressed to Louis’ cheek, kissing it softly and hoping he could understand that it meant he was forever grateful for motivating him to do this. Just as he pulled away, Louis’ face turned and their mouths met in the gentlest of kisses, sending shivers up his spine. 

Yes, he thought to himself, this was definitely the happiest day of his life.

-

Two hours later and they were back in the living room, Anne and Robin on the sofa, Gemma on the floor and Harry and Louis squashed into the armchair together. They were surrounded by empty pizza boxes they had managed to eat their way through as they talked through the years they had missed without each other. Gemma told Harry about her job and how she didn’t have it in her to leave home yet and Harry told them all more about his life in London – even Louis learned a couple more things. 

Once that was done, Anne decided it was time to tell tales from their childhood and Harry had pushed his face into Louis’ shoulder as the more embarrassing stories came out into the open. If he was to be entirely honest though, he didn’t care too much what was being said because his shame was worth seeing Louis’ already beautiful face light up in a laugh that had his eyes crinkling at the corners and his teeth showing brilliantly. 

The first time Louis laughed at baby-Harry’s expense, his whole body shook and he had to hold onto Harry even tighter, and it was only then that he realised Louis had managed to pull him onto his lap.

Anne was in the middle of the story of his disastrous first day at school, when Harry turned to look at Louis to gauge his reaction. He nearly forgot how to breathe when he found the sparkling blue eyes had been on him the whole time. On top of that, the expression Louis wore made Harry’s stomach do little somersaults, flipping over and over again at the look of wonderment spread all across his face. It complemented his pixie-like features so well that Harry didn’t even stop to wonder why he was looking at him like that.

‘Interrupting are we?’

Harry’s head snapped up to where his mum was watching them with a raised eyebrow. She would have sounded annoyed if it weren’t for the smile tugging at her lips. 

‘Sorry,’ he mumbled, but he couldn’t feel too sorry when one of Louis’ hands had slid up the back of his t-shirt and was stroking his bare skin.

Gemma rolled her eyes playfully and Robin and Anne chuckled.

‘It’s okay, boys. We understand,’ she smiled. ‘How long are you staying for anyway?’

Harry hadn’t thought of that. He had only booked the one day off of work and even though he pretty much ran the place he couldn’t really ask for more now.

‘I think we’ll be leaving tonight,’ he said, a little dejectedly. 

Anne’s face fell in disappointment. 

‘Is it because you haven’t brought anything? I know you’ve grown, but your room is exactly how you left it, clothes and all. I’m sure there’s something you could wear, at least for another day.’

Harry hated how hopeful his mum sounded, but he couldn’t do anything about it. He was about to say just as much when —

‘If you don’t mind, we could stay until Wednesday?’ Louis’ voice piped up.

Harry turned to him in shock. ‘Wednesday? But I haven’t booked it off and I ha—‘

‘Calm down, Curly,’ Louis interrupted affectionately, tugging on his hair lightly for good measure. ‘I might have done something sneaky and rang up the bakery before you woke up this morning.’

Harry’s eyes grew round like saucers and he shifted on Louis’ lap to look at him properly.

‘You did what?’

Louis’ cheeks tinged pink and he fiddled with the hem of Harry’s t-shirt as he spoke.

‘Yeah, I talked to your assistant person and asked if there were enough people on the rota to cover you for a few extra days and, well, there were. Then I rang the club and promised Zayn I’d keep the flat tidy if he filled in for me a bit and yeah. Job’s a good’un.’ He paused to think for a second. ‘I did forget to pack us some bags though.’

When Louis looked up, Harry wasn’t the only one staring at him. There were four pairs of eyes focused on him, two of them decidedly watery. No one was surprised that Anne was crying again, but Harry hadn’t expected such a gesture to make him want to burst into tears. 

To try and distract himself, he pressed his lips to Louis’ temple, kissing it three times before moving to his earlobe where he kissed once and whispered, ‘you’re amazing’ before sitting up again to see Louis’ cheeks bunched up in a flushed grin.

Anne let out a whimper before composing herself.

‘Well, we have spare toothbrushes and, like I said, we have all of Harry’s old clothes.’ She hesitated before adding with a new spark in her eye. ‘Louis, you’re a fair bit more muscular so they might be quite tight on you, but I’m sure none of us will mind. Or you could always go without them.’

‘Mum!’ Harry exclaimed, wrapping his arms around his – dare he say it – _boyfriend_ possessively.

Anne giggled, slapping Robin’s thigh good-naturedly and earning an approving glance from Gemma who had also taken time to notice Louis’ body. 

‘Sorry, sweetheart, I can’t help myself.’

Harry huffed jokingly, not loosening his grip on Louis just yet. 

‘It’s for my eyes only,’ he stated, but was met with raised eyebrows so he added: ‘And the clientele of Paul’s Unisex Strip Club.’

‘I’m sure,’ Anne winked. ‘But seriously, I’m sure there will be some of Harry’s old baggier stuff for you to wear, Louis.’

‘Thank you, Anne,’ Louis said gratefully, slipping his hand back up Harry’s t-shirt, this time to stroke the skin over his hip.

‘Anytime,’ she smiled. ‘Really.’

‘I can’t believe Rich didn’t make you get rid of all my stuff,’ Harry said shaking his head.

Anne snorted like the idea was ridiculous. 

‘That bastard acted like your room never existed. It was as if he had sealed it off in his mind. Me and Gem hadn’t though.’ Anne turned to smile at her daughter. ‘We’d go in there every now and then when he wasn’t around, just to feel close to you again. We’d also dust it and things, clear the cobwebs, you know. Just in case.’

The idea of his mum and sister sitting on his bed surrounded by his old possessions and making sure everything stayed in order made Harry happy and sad at the same time, and Louis seemed to sense it, cuddling him closer. He swallowed past the lump in his throat, his blood burning with love for the family he had to leave behind.

‘That’s um… that’s really, really nice,’ he managed, hoping they understood that the sentiment was much deeper than his lame words.

‘It’s a good job we did now that you’re back with a guest,’ Anne said, her eyes soft and warm, mismatching the matter-of-fact words she spoke.

Harry nodded, feeling the brush of Louis’ fingertips on his skin again.

‘Wait a minute,’ Louis spoke up again. ‘That reminds me, you never did finish telling us about how you and him finished. If you don’t mind me asking.’

At these words, Gemma perked up, brushing her hair behind her ears and sitting a little straighter.

‘Ah, yes!’ Anne exclaimed. ‘We were interrupted by the very one who came to the rescue.’

Harry furrowed his eyebrows together. ‘What d’you mean?’

‘ _I’ll_ tell you,’ Gemma said pointedly, taking over the story as Anne settled back against the cushions with Robin.

Harry shuffled himself so he was more comfortable on Louis’ lap, at the same time trying to angle himself so the family wouldn’t see that Louis’ fingers were wandering further away from his hipbone and more toward the plane of his stomach. He should have stopped him, but the tingling was addictive so he let him carry on.

‘I was working late one night at the school,’ Gemma began, with the air of someone impersonating Gandalf. ‘I didn’t leave for home until gone nine in the evening when I’m usually back by six at the latest, but I had so much marking to do. When I got to the front door I heard yelling which was nothing unusual, that prick was always finding reason to shout about something, but there was something in his voice that felt different so I opened the door quietly so he wouldn’t hear me.

‘When I got inside, I realised just how loud he was being because he was actually all the way in the kitchen. The door was halfway open so I could see inside, but he couldn’t see me. I have no idea what it was he was so mad about, something about the dinner probably, but all I could see was that Mum was trapped between him and the kitchen counter.

‘He was seriously so close to her, yelling like she was on the other side of the fucking house.The last time I had seen Mum that scared was the night he kicked you out.’

Harry had scooted forward so he was more perched on Louis’ knees, the hand under his shirt still and forgotten.

‘What happened next?’ he asked, looking between Gemma and his mum, who was watching her daughter with pride.

‘Well, while he was shouting like a fucking lunatic, I managed to get in the room without him noticing. When I saw him start to raise his hand, I panicked ‘cause I thought he was going to hit her so I reached for the first thing I got my hands on. Then I ran forward and whacked him on the top of his big ugly head with a frying pan. He went down like a sack of shit.’

Harry let out a bark of nervous laughter.

‘That’s not the end of the story though,’ Gemma said, wagging a finger. ‘You see, he woke up pretty quickly after that. I don’t know what he was expecting, but it probably wasn’t the two women who he thought he had under his thumb standing over him with fucking kitchen knives! We told him if he made a wrong move we would gut him like a fish and claim self-defence, and if he ever came back here we would call the police. Obviously, we weren’t actually prepared to disembowel him, but luckily it only took him about fifteen minutes to clear his shit out and go. A couple weeks later, Mum met Robin and the house felt alive again.’ She paused before adding. ‘That’s probably why I don’t want to leave. It felt like the home we had before Rich came into our lives. The only thing missing was you.’

‘Not anymore,’ Harry said quietly.

Gemma beamed at him.

‘I’m so proud of you, Gem,’ he said. ‘And you Mum.’

Anne wiped away a fresh tear on Robin’s sleeve, whose arm had tightened around her.

‘And Robin,’ he continued. ‘I can’t thank you enough for making my girls happy again.’

Robin’s already rosy face went pinker.

‘And Louis,’ Harry said a little softer, swivelling so he could look him in the eye. He brushed a hand through his feathery fringe and traced down his jaw line. ‘Thank you for bringing me here,’ he whispered, leaning forward so their foreheads rested together. ‘And thank you for staying.’

-

Another couple of hours meant that the pizza boxes had been cleared, the atmosphere was lighter and the television had been working its way through game shows that Harry hadn’t watched for years.

‘Why would anyone think that was the right answer?’ Harry asked exasperatedly, gesturing at the screen.

‘Maybe not everyone’s a smarty-pants like you,’ Louis teased lightly, digging his fingers into Harry’s side underneath his t-shirt.

‘Oh, shut up,’ Harry giggled, squirming away from his poking. 

‘Try and make me,’ he replied, his voice a little lower than before.

Harry stopped fidgeting and glanced down at Louis’ face, taking in the way he seemed to be looking up at him from under heavy eyelids and biting his lip. It took about five seconds for him to become acutely aware of the slight swell that hadn’t been pressing into his arse before he had started wriggling on Louis’ lap.

‘Oh.’

Louis smirked at him devilishly, flattening his palm against Harry’s stomach so his fingertips grazed the waistband of his boxers. He stroked along the edge of it slowly and Harry couldn’t stop himself from subtly grinding his arse down against the hard length that he could feel against the seat of his jeans. Louis let out a tiny moan that was more like a puff of hot air to the side of Harry’s neck and he used his other hand to grab a hold of Harry’s hip to pull him down more, forgetting that they weren’t alone in the room.

‘Haz,’ he breathed into Harry’s ear. ‘Want you.’


	16. Chapter 16

After Harry kissed and hugged his family goodnight, he pulled Louis up the stairs eagerly by the wrist, ignoring the amused eyes that followed him. He only stopped in his urgency when he had crossed the threshold of his bedroom, suddenly feeling like he had been hit by a brick wall that was painted a colour he hadn’t seen for years. 

‘Oh my god,’ he whispered.

Louis just managed to stop himself from stumbling into his back, instead steadying himself with hands on Harry’s hips and peering over his shoulder into his new boyfriend’s past.

The walls were painted a light blue and were bare apart from a dog-eared Ed Sheeran poster that looked like it had been reinforced multiple times with blu-tack in the years of Harry’s absence. There was a bookshelf in the corner stuffed with books, DVDs and CDs haphazardly arranged like a teenage boy would, but dusted with the hand of a devoted mother who never really gave up.

Louis stroked down Harry’s arms soothingly as his green eyes darted around the room in a mixture of thrill and sadness, transpiring into exhaustion. Louis kissed the back of his neck softly, wrapping his arms around Harry’s waist as slumped.

‘It’s just how I left it,’ Harry sighed. ‘They really looked after it for me.’

‘Of course they did, Curly,’ Louis smiled into the crook of his neck. ‘They love you so much and who can blame them? I’m so fucking proud of you for—‘

He was interrupted by Harry spinning in his arms without warning to crush their lips together, his long fingers slipping into Louis’ hair to keep him there. Louis nearly swallowed his own tongue in surprise, but soon found it to slip into Harry’s mouth and kiss him back just as desperately. He held him like a lifeline against his chest until Harry pulled away breathlessly, still cupping the back of his head.

‘How are you even real?’ he asked in wonder, making Louis blush. ‘Two weeks ago we barely even knew each other and, fuck, only a couple of days ago I thought you were just using me for a shag.’ He paused to shake his head and Louis squeezed him in his arms, remembering how foolish he had been to think he could ever be less than everything to Harry. ‘But now…’ Harry continued, gazing deep into Louis’ eyes. ‘Now you’ve given me my _family_.’

Louis stroked one finger down the supple skin of Harry’s cheek and the strong line of his neck, making him shiver.

‘It wasn’t me though, Harry. All of this was you. I’m just glad that you let me stick around to see it all.’

Harry shook his curls insistently. ‘No, Lou. It was you. If it weren’t for you, I might never have seen my mum or Gemma again. I would have just carried on being too scared to go home because of Rich. Even after I yelled at you and everything, you still wanted me to do this and I don’t think I could ever thank you enough.’ He stopped to brush a stray hair from Louis’ forehead. ‘I just want to know why you would do all this for me.’ 

His voice was nearly pleading, like he was truly at a loss without a reason.

Louis didn’t really know what to say to him because the answer was just so glaringly obvious.

‘I just want to make you happy,’ he said simply. ‘Remember when we met exactly fourteen days ago?’

Harry’s lips turned up in a little smile and he nodded, letting his hands slip down to Louis’ waist.

‘I thought two things when I first saw you. The first was that you were fucking gorgeous and deserved a spot in my mind later when I was having a wank.’

‘You wanked over me?’ Harry asked doubtfully. 

‘Of course,’ he replied matter-of-factly, smacking Harry lightly on the arse so he giggled. ‘But that’s not my main point.’

Harry bit his lip to keep himself quiet, already feeling his heart hammering inside his chest from the fondness in Louis’ expression.

‘The second thought was that a face like yours was just made for smiling and—‘ Louis poked a pinky finger into the dimple that had appeared on Harry’s face. ‘– I was right.’

-

Louis peeled off his clothes carefully, using every trick he had learned to give Harry the treat he deserved.

‘Slower,’ Harry ordered gruffly, working his cock leisurely where he lay on his childhood bed.

Louis immediately slowed down in pulling his top over his head, undulating his torso almost unnoticeably so that the soft definitions of his stomach caught the late night glow. Once it was off, he threw it to the side and ran his hand through his hair, head thrown back so Harry could eye the line of his throat all the way down to where his trail of hair disappeared beneath a waistband.

‘You’re fucking incredible,’ Harry breathed, gripping the base of his cock tightly. ‘Jeans off next.’

Louis bit his lip and obliged, threading his thumbs into his belt loops before turning slowly on the spot until he was facing the other way. His heart fluttered a little when he heard Harry’s moan of approval at the new view and pulled his zipper down until he was able to hook his thumbs underneath the denim and his boxers. In one long and deliberate move, he slid the clothes over his arse and down his thighs, bending forward so he was showing everything he had to offer. Once he was free of them he straightened up again, stroking one hand all the way up his leg and over his arse as he went.

‘Like what you see?’ he asked over his shoulder, squeezing his own arse cheek.

It was a question that needn’t have been asked when he saw Harry splayed on the sheets, head propped up with multiple pillows and his hand jerking quickly over his cock. He only grunted in reply and it was all the get-go Louis needed. He turned around to reveal his hard dick, earning another moan from Harry, and started fumbling blindly in the drawers until he found a half-used tube of lubricant. 

Next, he slid onto the bed and straddled Harry at the waist, knocking his hand away from his cock and being careful to avoid it himself as well. Harry’s attempts to sit up were futile as Louis’ strong legs kept him firmly in place beneath him.

‘What do you want?’ he asked lowly, pumping his dick to a steady rhythm over Harry’s chest.

Harry looked like he was about to explode, eyes fixed on the movement of Louis’ hand, his own snatching at the duvet so he wouldn’t touch himself. Louis pulled his hand all the way down to the base of his cock and rolled his balls with his fingers until Harry couldn’t take it anymore.

‘Fuck, I want this,’ he sputtered. ‘Want to watch you touch yourself like you did over me. _Please_.’

Louis had to remember they weren’t alone in the house and bit back the groan in his throat, clenching his thighs around Harry’s middle.

‘On one condition,’ he breathed, plucking the tube of lubricant from the mattress and dropping it on Harry’s chest. ‘You have to get me ready for when I ride your cock afterwards.’

Harry’s eyes near enough rolled into the back of his head and Louis leant back, feeling the leaking head of his cock against his lower back and shuddered at the thought of sitting down on it.

‘Can you do that for me, babe?’ he asked, stilling the movement on his cock just in case.

Harry didn’t answer verbally, instead using a trembling hand to squeeze lube onto his fingers and then slipped them between Louis’ legs. Louis lifted himself a bit so Harry’s long fingers could find him better and inhaled sharply when he felt the gentle intrusion. He could see the concentration on Harry’s face as he tried not to hurt him, but Louis was beyond waiting. Without warning he let himself drop back down until he was up to the knuckle and Harry’s other fingers were curved around his arse cheek.

Harry choked back a gasp and Louis grinned, savouring the feel of something inside him for a moment before putting his hand back around his cock. He could feel Harry’s finger curling inside him and he lifted himself up to drop himself back again, bouncing on Harry’s hand to the rhythm he wanked himself.

‘You look so fucking good, Lou,’ Harry moaned quietly, sliding a second finger inside and scissoring them wide so Louis could feel the burn of them.

‘Fuck, Haz. So good.’

‘You going to ride my cock like this?’ he asked, not daring to imagine what it would feel like around the throbbing between his legs.

Louis tipped his head back, speeding up his hand.

‘No,’ he panted. ‘Gunna do it even better.’

Harry groaned and removed his fingers quickly, catching Louis’ yelp of discomfort in a messy open mouthed kiss as he pulled him down.

‘Come here,’ he ordered, shuffling back on the bed from between Louis’ legs until he could sit up against the headboard, his cock standing against his stomach.

Louis crawled back up to him, but at the last minute turned around, presenting Harry with the perfect curve of his arse for a split second before he was lowering himself down.

Harry bit his lip, wrapping his arms around Louis from behind as the tight heat enveloped him slowly, pinching at his nipples when Louis was fully sat in his lap. He dragged his teeth over his shoulder, his chest pressed flush to Louis’ back and whispered in his ear.

‘Fuck yourself on me, Lou.’

Harry felt him clench around his cock and scratched his nails down Louis’ chest, pulling him closer.

Louis started circling his hips, dropping his head back into the crook of Harry’s neck as he grew accustomed to the thick length inside him.

‘So big,’ he muttered. ‘So full, babe.’

Harry thrust up as much as he could, pushing his cock deeper.

‘Yeah? Fucking ride it then.’

‘Oh god,’ Louis moaned, raising himself and dropping back down again, his arse cheeks slapping against Harry’s skin. ‘ _Oh god_.’ 

‘Oh yeah, fuck, that’s it,’ Harry groaned, lifting his hips to meet each downward fall.

His nipples tingled where Louis’ back slid past them and he squeezed one of Louis’ between his fingers, making him whine each time his movements made them tug.  
Louis started bouncing quicker and Harry gave in on the temptation, reaching around to take hold of his hot dick, making him cry out. 

For a while, the only sound in the room was their laboured breathing and the sweaty slapping of skin, punctuated by the little moans that escaped their bruised lips.

‘So tight, Lou,’ Harry panted. ‘Close.’

‘ _Fuck_ , fill me up, babe.’

Harry felt his stomach coiling and sunk his teeth into Louis’ shoulder, giving one more hard thrust upward, undoing Louis completely. 

He called out Harry’s name, completely abandoning the fact that his family were downstairs, and tightened around his cock, pumping him through his orgasm as his own spilt over Harry’s fist and legs. 

He fell back against Harry’s chest, his body shaking in the aftermath, and not quite ready to let Harry slip out of him yet. Harry hugged him, stroking his hands over his stomach and down his aching thighs as he relaxed. 

He shivered when Harry kissed him behind the ear, breathing in their sighs of contentment and the smell of sex that hung in the air. He felt like he could stay here forever…

‘ _Have you quite finished_?’ Anne yelled up the stairs suddenly.

Louis burned scarlet. Staying here forever might just have to be an option if it meant never having to face his boyfriend’s mum after that.

-

The next couple of days went by in a blur of sexual innuendoes on Anne’s part, over-exaggerated porn noises on Robin’s part and looks of mock disgust on Gemma’s part, with Harry and Louis switching between blushing like radishes and laughing along with them in between.

Tuesday afternoon comprised of a family lunch to the local pub, Louis sitting close beside Harry with an arm slung behind him so his hand could stroke the back of his neck. Harry would have commented on how it meant Louis had to eat his toad-in-the-hole with one hand if he didn’t get tingles every time his fingers twirled in his hair. 

His mum kicked him under the table when he was caught grinning dopily at Louis, who was telling Gemma an animated story about the time someone had put baby oil on one of the poles for a laugh. When Harry turned to pout at her reproachfully, there was only affection on her face and he felt ridiculous impromptu tears pricking at the back of his eyes. He ducked his head down quickly, trying to hide his face somewhere in his plate of chips, but the sound of Robin’s conspicuous whisper, ‘I’m so glad we’ve got the family together,’ into his mother’s ear had the tears spilling over.

He hastily wiped his cheeks with a napkin and, when he looked up, everyone was looking elsewhere. He would have thought he had gotten away with it if his mum’s eyes weren’t wet too and if Louis’ hand hadn’t dropped to squeeze his leg.

His support was silent and warm and Harry fucked him over his desk that night to thank him for it.

-

‘You let me know when you’re home safely, okay?’ Anne fussed, zipping up Harry’s coat like she used to do when he was in primary school. ‘No excuses now you’ve got your old phone back! You can take time out of your exciting London life and sexy stripper boyfriend to give your old mum a text now and then.’

Harry laughed and pulled her into a tight hug. ‘Forget texting, Mum. How about a visit every now and then instead?’

Anne’s eyes filled with happy eyes for the hundredth time over the past few days and held her son tighter.

‘That would be perfect, baby,’ she whispered.

‘Stop hogging him!’ Gemma demanded, pulling her away so she could engulf her brother in her embrace. 

Louis chuckled as he watched, but his eyes widened in alarm when Anne launched herself at him instead.

‘I can’t thank you enough, Louis,’ she mumbled into his shoulder before pulling away and zipping his jacket up to the collar as well. ‘If you hurt him, I’ll have to kill you though.’

Louis laughed nervously and gave her another one-armed hug.

‘I wouldn’t dream of it, Anne.’

-

As soon as they got back to his flat, Harry had Louis’ jumper off over his head and his flies half-undone.

‘Easy, tiger,’ Louis joked, not trying to stop him in the slightest. ‘What’s gotten into you?’

Hands still on Louis’ zip, Harry ducked down to suck the skin on his neck before whispering hotly into his ear.

‘Nothing yet.’

Unfortunately for him, his wordplay did more to amuse Louis than seduce him and he burst out laughing.

Harry pouted at him for a moment until he realised he could be doing something worthwhile and started yanking Louis’ t-shirt off as well, which proved quite difficult when he was bent forward giggling.

‘Ow! That was my hair!’ he protested when Harry gave his top a particularly desperate tug. ‘Why are you so keen on getting me out of my clothes all of a sudden?’

Harry left the t-shirt hanging around Louis’ neck like a scarf and raised an eyebrow.

‘I thought you liked stripping?’

Louis rolled his eyes and shoved him on the shoulder.

‘Not what I meant, dickhead. It was more of a question about why you suddenly want to get in my pants when ten minutes ago you were curled up like an innocent bunny in my car.’

Harry smirked and leant in close, pressing him against the wall so every needy part of his body aligned with Louis’.

‘Maybe the question should be how could I possibly not want to fuck you every chance I get,’ he muttered, brushing their lips together. ‘All those other people get to look at you, get to touch themselves to the thought of you, but I’m the only one who can actually touch you.’

Louis shivered, pushing his hips forward a little more. 

‘Fuck, you’re good enough to eat,’ Harry growled, nipping at his ear.

‘Maybe you should then.’

Harry licked his lips slowly.

‘My pleasure.’

It took less than a handful of seconds for Harry to be on his knees in front of him, pulling down his jeans and boxers and spinning him so his chest was against the wall. Louis went willingly as Harry’s hands pulled his hips back and braced his hands against the wall for what he hoped was coming.

Sure enough, he soon felt a warm mouth kissing its way across his arse cheeks and he curled his toes into the carpet to prepare himself.

‘Ready?’ Harry asked, ghosting his lips over the peach fuzz of his arse.

Louis didn’t have time to reply as Harry held him open and pressed his tongue to his hole, lapping eagerly like he had been hungry for it the entire drive home.

‘Holy shit,’ Louis breathed, feeling his legs shaking.

Harry hummed against him and started teasing the tip of his tongue inside agonisingly. It had been so long since someone had done this for him and – shit – he fucking loved it.

‘God, Haz,’ he gasped. ‘I think I l—‘

He was cut off by a loud knocking at the door, startling them both.

Harry removed his lips and sat back on his haunches, looking confused. 

Louis felt more like putting a fist through the wall. ‘I know I only just met the bloke but if that’s Niall I’m going to fucking kill him,’ he warned.

Harry dragged a hand back across his mouth a little crudely and started pulling up Louis’ jeans for him, turning him once he got them up his thighs so he could delicately tuck his erection into his underwear. Louis groaned softly and slipped a hand into Harry’s hair, but he was already starting to stand up and straighten his own clothes.

‘If it was Niall he would’ve come straight in,’ Harry stated, ruffling his curls and brushing them to the side in what Louis had come to recognise as his signature move.

Louis paused in pulling his t-shirt back on to gape at Harry incredulously. ‘You mean you didn’t lock the door?!’

Harry shrugged, looking none too apologetic. ‘My bad.’

Louis shook his head disbelievingly, adjusting the hem of his top and the zip on his jeans.

‘That’s a terrible habit of yours, Curly. You’re one of a kind.’

Another booming knock at the door.

Harry grinned and pecked him on the cheek. ‘You wouldn’t have me any other way.’

Louis watched him shuffle over to the door.

‘So fucking true,’ he said fondly, more to himself than anything.

The next torrent of knocks was even louder.

‘Christ, they’re impatient,’ Harry muttered, turning back to pull a silly face at Louis.

‘I’d be too if you took this long to answer the door,’ Louis said disapprovingly, moving to lean against the armchair so he was out of the way. 

After Harry stuck his tongue out at him and finally put his hand on the door handle, Louis turned his attention away, picking at his fingernails instead. He heard the door open, but oddly didn’t hear any voices and he looked up to see Harry standing perfectly still, starting out into the hallway.

‘Isn’t there anyone there?’ he asked, puzzled, pushing himself forward so he could see.

‘This your boyfriend then, Harry? Bit too pretty for you isn’t he?’

The voice was cold and menacing, matching equally with the brutal figure that darkened the doorway. He instilled an instant fear in Louis, but his mouth opened of its own accord.

‘Who the fuck are you?’ Louis demanded, glad that his voice sounded confident despite his legs having forgotten how to work.

Harry started shaking his head, like he was trying to make the man in front of him disappear.

‘Aww, didn’t Harry tell you about me?’ he asked, turning back to Harry who refused to look him in the eye.

Louis stuck his chin out defiantly. ‘You can’t have been that important.’

The man laughed cruelly and laid one heavy hand on Harry’s now shaking shoulder.

‘I used to be his daddy.’


	17. Chapter 17

Rich sneered at Louis, squeezing Harry’s shoulder roughly and making him flinch.

‘So he _did_ tell you about me?’ he said, indulging in Louis’ goldfish-like expression.

Harry could see Louis nodding slowly out of the corner of his eye, wanting to tell him to run just as much as he wanted him to be standing a bit closer to him. He tried to swallow his fear – he wasn’t eighteen anymore.

‘What are you doing here?’ he managed, voice small.

Rich barked a cold laugh. ‘What am I doing here? What the fuck are you doing here? I thought a little faggot like you would’ve died on the streets… fucking pity.’

‘Don’t call him that!’ Louis shouted suddenly, making Harry’s heart soar then plummet as Rich snapped his attention back to where Louis stood.

‘I’ll call him whatever the fuck I want,’ he growled, showing that one gold tooth that always gave Harry the creeps. ‘You least of all can tell me what to do, filthy little homo.’

Louis didn’t say another word.

When Harry looked up, Rich’s eyes were fixed on his again. They were a light brown, almost yellow to the point of looking like a wolf staring down its prey.

‘So you want to know why I’m here?’ Rich continued, digging his thick nails into Harry’s shoulder. ‘I’m here to do what I couldn’t three years ago. I don’t know if you know this, but I was kicked out of the house by those two stupid bitches you call your mother and sister. Didn’t take long for her to find some other bloke though, fucking slut.’ He paused to spit nastily on the ground and Harry’s entire body tensed with disgust. ‘Needless to say I didn’t exactly hang around the village, I’m not a fucking idiot. As chance would have it, I was meeting up with an old buddy of mine not too far away from where your mum lives the other day, and what should I see?’ He leant down so his face was just inches from Harry’s, breath reeking of the alcohol he had always been fond of. ‘You. Standing in the very house I chucked you out of. Wasn’t hard to follow you back here.’

Harry was trembling. There was something about Rich right in that moment that was different to the Rich he had lived with, something that made him even more terrifying. He had always been an angry man, always lost his temper over the smallest of things, but there had still been something containing him and whatever that thing was had gone now, leaving nothing between them.

‘Are you scared of me, Harry?’ he asked, voice soft and dangerous.

Harry shook his head even though all he wanted to do was scream for help.

Rich grinned, lines carving into his face that made the hairs on the back of Harry’s neck stand up on end.

‘You fucking should be,’ he whispered.

And then Rich let go of his shoulder and for a split second Harry thought he could grab Louis and run away, but he was wrong. 

Rich’s hand found its way to his throat instead, his thick fingers wrapping around his neck and slamming him against the wall. Harry tried gasping in as much air as he could, but Rich’s palm was pressed flat against his Adam’s apple, cutting him off. He tried to pull him away, desperately scrabbling against Rich’s rough skin, but it only made him squeeze tighter until bright spots popped in his vision. He could just make out Rich drawing his other arm back, ready to land all of the punches Harry knew he had wanted to lay into him that night he kicked him out. 

He squeezed his eyes shut tightly, hoping to pass out before he could feel any more pain, but hell took human form in Rich. With the force of a man who took meaningless hatred to a whole new level, he punched Harry hard in stomach, simultaneously relinquishing his chokehold so that he could double over, his legs too weak to keep him upright so he fell forward and headbutted the floor with a sickening thud.

After that, Harry was sure he got lost inside his own head, hearing nothing but the roar of his own blood and Rich’s boot kicking him in his ribs, his arms, his legs. He wanted to scream at him to stop but his mouth wasn’t his own and all he could do was hope against hope that it would just _stop soon_ because he hurt so much, but for some reason he was still awake. Maybe someone would come, maybe someone would call the police, maybe Louis – 

_Louis_.

Louis will have gone to get someone, gotten out unnoticed and called for help. Or maybe he was waiting for the right moment to attack Rich himself, maybe Louis was his knight in shining armour and would use his unconventional strength to pull Rich off of him and Harry _so_ wanted someone to get Rich off of him because he was starting to feel sleepy and he was scared by what that might mean. 

He tried to curl himself in tighter to protect where he was vulnerable, praying that Louis would save him soon.

‘Don’t fucking hide away from me, boy,’ Rich spat, reaching down and wrenching Harry’s arm away from his chest painfully and finally making the tears spill over. That only made Rich laugh. ‘Crying like a little pussy.’

Harry could feel him kneel down beside him and turned his face away into the carpet, all of his aching muscles tensing when Rich whispered in his ear.

‘He’s just watching, you know. Not even bothering to help.’ Harry felt the bottom fall out of his stomach. ‘He doesn’t care about you…’

Harry knew he was wrong, knew that he must be lying because Louis wouldn’t have just stood there, he wasn’t like that. Was he?

‘He doesn’t give a shit that I could have killed you,’ Rich muttered, sickeningly close.

Harry was trying not to listen, but every part of him hurt including his thoughts and… and what did he really know about Louis anyway? 

‘How does it feel, Harry? When your _boyfriend_ stands idly by and watches you get kicked like the dog that you are?’

Harry was suffocating again, choking like Rich’s hand was still pressed against his throat. He hadn’t known Louis that long and his head was spinning and spinning, telling him that everything must have been an act, maybe Rich was right, maybe –

‘No one could love Harry Styles.’

Rich was poison and Harry was drowning in it, barely registering that he was walking away and slamming the front door behind him. He was still there though, in his head, whispering all the doubts he’d ever had about himself, all the doubts he’d ever had about Louis. 

_They can’t be true_ , he thought to himself, practically begging, _he wouldn’t do nothing, he cares about me, he took me to my family, he wouldn’t let me get beaten to a pulp, Louis wouldn’t, Louis, Louis, Louis_.

‘Louis,’ the word came out strangled and he rolled onto his side, wincing. 

He cracked one eye open, expecting to see an empty flat or maybe Louis red-faced in the doorway having ran for help and only just gotten back. He didn’t expect to see Louis standing exactly where he had been before, staring at him with wide eyes.

‘Louis?’ he said it again, but this time he was confused and felt like maybe the walls were falling in on him.

‘A-are you okay?’

Louis’ voice was quiet, but it was loud in Harry’s ears and he found the strength to pull himself into a sitting position, still hunched over as he held his ribs. Louis took a few cautious steps toward him, but Harry drew himself further back suddenly feeling very exposed.

‘Did you want me to call an ambulance or —‘

‘You didn’t do anything,’ Harry muttered, staring down at the floor and shaking his head in disbelief. ‘He said you didn’t care and… you don’t. You _watched_.’

‘Harry…’ Louis’ voice was breaking and it was hurting Harry all over again. ‘I couldn—‘

‘Couldn’t what?’ he cut in, trying to draw himself upright a little more. He gasped in pain and he could see Louis lurch forward in response, but Harry looked up at him and he froze. ‘Why didn’t you help me?’

Louis sagged and there were tears on his face as he mumbled something that Harry was sure he misheard. His heart felt like stone as it lodged itself in his sore throat.

‘What did you just say?’ he asked, hoping against hope he was mistaken.

Louis shuddered, looking scared and ashamed. ‘My body is my living.’

Harry’s world was spinning too fast and he found himself on his feet, unsteady and propped against the wall behind him, but still standing so he was on level ground with Louis who looked like he wanted the ground to swallow him up.

‘Are you fucking kidding me?’ Harry rasped, holding his bruised neck. ‘How can that be your excuse?’

Louis shook his head lamely and Harry felt like he was standing in front of a complete stranger. This couldn’t be the guy who had guided him down the driveway to his mum’s house or the guy who had stroked his face and looked at him like he was the most precious thing in the world. 

‘I don’t know you at all,’ he whispered.

Louis looked up startled, face pathetic and hands shaking. ‘Don’t say that, Harry! You know me, you know how much I care about you, the things I’ve done for you, I —‘

‘No, I don’t!’ Harry shouted, ignoring the stabbing pains up his side. ‘I’m obviously not as important to you as you made me out to be if you can just stand and watch as someone kicks the shit out of me!’ He breathed in raggedly. ‘You clearly don’t care about me more than your stupid fucking job!’

Louis shrank back, wounded and guiltily. ‘Of course I care about you more than my job…’

‘Yeah? So much so that you don’t try and pull off the guy who’s trying to fucking kill me in case you end up with a bruise and can’t strut around the fucking stage in your pants?’ He could feel himself shake and he was sure his legs might give out, but he felt so angry and so betrayed that he didn’t care right now. ‘Do you have anything to say for yourself?’ he demanded, trying to glare at Louis but finding it hard through his tears. ‘Anything at all?’

‘I’m sorry,’ Louis whispered, but it wasn’t enough.

‘You realise you could have at least tried to get help from somewhere else, right? That you didn’t have to risk taking a few days off of work in case you got a bit battered? You could’ve rang someone, you could’ve gone to get Niall, you could’ve done _something_ instead of just standing there.’ Harry sounded bitter and the words tasted it on his tongue. He watched with a kind of grim satisfaction as what he said got through to Louis, who looked like he was only just realising that that had been an option. ‘So now you get it?’ he asked sourly. ‘You’re a fucking idiot, Louis. No wonder you’re just a stripper.’

He regretted it as soon as he said it, but he couldn’t take it back when Louis had hurt him just as much. He watched as Louis’ face crumpled and his arms wrapped around himself tightly like he was the one who had just been punched in the stomach.

He wanted to make Louis hurt like Louis had let him get hurt and now he had started, he couldn’t stop.

‘You say you want to become a teacher and yet you just continue to get naked for strangers like some kind of whore without even fucking _trying_ to change your life. You’re just too scared to make something of yourself, too scared to commit to something that matters. Is that why you just let him have me? Thought that maybe he would’ve killed me and you wouldn’t have had to commit to me either? You’re just doing what’s easy even if it’s demeaning and cheap,’ Harry spat, even though he wasn’t sure if he meant it. Another sharp pain rose up his side. ‘You know what? I was doing perfectly well without you a few weeks ago, it won’t be hard to move on once you’re gone.’

Louis was shaking his head desperately, supporting his body weight against the armchair like the floor was slipping away. He was trying to say Harry’s name, begging, but he couldn’t when he was sobbing like his heart was being broken. 

Harry wanted to hold him just as much as he never wanted to see him again, part of him wishing he could go back in time to before he had ever met Louis, if only to do it all differently or maybe not do it at all. It hurt too much and his own words were burning him.

‘Goodbye, Louis.’


	18. Chapter 18

‘You didn’t do _anything_?’

Zayn was staring at him like he was stranger which nearly hurt as much as when Harry had done the same thing. 

Louis had let himself out of Harry’s a couple of hours ago and walked home slowly, not caring how he must have looked with the tears pouring down his face and his nose red and runny. He had gotten a bit lost on the way, despairing over how perfect things had been only for it to be snatched away with the thump of a fist and too many angry words, but he didn’t care how many turnings he missed because he deserved to be cold and aching. 

He only bothered to wipe his face once he was back at the flat, where Zayn had taken one look at him and folded him into his arms on the sofa, letting him use the shoulder of his t-shirt as a tissue. He only pulled away when Louis explained what had actually happened.

‘Nothing at all?’ Zayn pressed, incredulous.

Louis couldn’t bring himself to say anything in defence, besides the fact that he had no defence anyway, and hugged his knees to his chest, burying his face down so he wouldn’t have to see the surprise and disappointment on his best friend’s face. 

Louis had never felt this awful or this guilty, but he had been so scared and it left him frozen in place and completely useless. There were real horrors in Harry’s life that Louis had never had to encounter himself until they were suddenly there in Harry’s living room, whaling on him in front of his eyes. 

And Louis had done nothing. 

Whenever he closed his eyes he could see Harry lying in pain on the floor with Rich towering over him, digging his boots into his side and spitting at him. Louis could feel it in his own gut, knocking the wind out of him as he watched Harry cry, vulnerable, but his legs just refused to bring him closer and his brain had shut off completely, too terrified to think of a way to help.

‘I told him it was because of work,’ he muttered quietly after a few minutes of just his own snuffly breathing. He turned his head to the side so he could look at Zayn through his puffy eyes. ‘He asked me why and I told him it was because of work, that my body was my living and I… I don’t know.’

Zayn raised his eyebrows. ‘Is that really the reason?’ He scoffed and shook his head. ‘Sorry, Lou, but that’s bullshit.’ 

‘Of course it wasn’t the reason, I was just scared,’ Louis mumbled woefully. ‘But how could I tell him that? I wouldn’t be the big strong guy who could protect him anymore, I wouldn’t be his knight in shining fucking armour who galloped off with him to find his mum. Then again, if I didn’t do that then that bastard would never have found him.’ He groaned and pressed his sore eyes into his forearms. ‘Everything’s my fault.’

Zayn shuffled closer, wrapping an arm around his waist and leaning his head on Louis’ shoulder. ‘It’s not your fault,’ he consoled gently. ‘But why is it so important that he thinks you’re so big and strong? Surely the fact that you care about him is more important, Lou.’

Louis shrugged his shoulders pitifully. ‘I don’t know. It was the worst thing I could’ve done. He said afterwards that I could’ve gone to get Niall or someone but I… I didn’t even think. I _couldn’t_ even think.’ He felt fresh tears welling in his eyes and scooted around a bit, rearranging them so his head was on Zayn’s chest. ‘He said that I was an idiot, Zayn.’

‘I can agree to that,’ Zayn said, smiling as he massaged Louis’ scalp. ‘I mean —‘

‘No, not like that,’ Louis interrupted, and Zayn could feel the tears seeping through his t-shirt. ‘He said that it was no wonder I’m just a stripper,’ he whispered miserably. ‘And that I’m not even trying to make something of myself and that I’m just a cheap whore a-and… he said he was going to move on.’

Zayn’s grip tightened around him protectively and he felt a little more solid for it. 

Louis didn’t know what was causing the tight constriction in his chest, the pounding in his head and the twisting in his stomach, whether it was more the sight of Harry in pain or hearing the things he had shouted at him, face angry and wet with tears, and so full of hate and hurt. It was probably a horrible spiky mixture of both, pricking at him with the snippets of truth he tried to ignore every day.

He knew what Zayn was trying to tell him and he half-believed him, just able to hear it over the blood thumping in his ears, the ‘ _you’re not a whore, Louis, and you know that_ ’, the ‘ _you’re worth so much more than what he said_ ’ and ‘ _you’re doing what makes you happy and that’s what matters_ ’, amongst countless other sentiments and reasonings that Louis wished could make him feel better, but it just didn’t mean anything because Harry had still said it and he was going to move on from Louis when he had barely been here long enough to begin with, like a wisp of smoke. 

He shuddered in Zayn’s arms and wondered when he had gotten in this deep, because it shouldn’t feel like he had left half of himself back in that flat somewhere between Harry’s bruised body and the doorway.

-

Niall stopped by later that day and found Harry curled up in the spot Louis had left him, all cried out. 

His first reaction had been concern, but when he saw Harry wince and clutch his side, Niall had lifted up his shirt and promptly burst into tears at the sight of his beaten body. Harry didn’t have it in him to explain properly and his throat still hurt from all the choking and obscene screaming, so he just said the word ‘Rich’ and let Niall carry him to bed.

Once Niall had pulled himself together and given up on persuading Harry to go to the hospital, he began busying himself with becoming his live-in nurse, declaring that he was going to live on Harry’s sofa so he needn’t go a day without help. 

He probably thought Harry was staying in bed under his instruction so that he could rest and recover, but the truth was that Harry wouldn’t have bothered moving or doing anything for himself even if he had a clean bill of health. 

He wasn’t going to say that what Rich had done hurt less than what Louis hadn’t, because that would be a cliché lie. One pain was in his skin and muscle, the other was in his mind, manifesting as that sick, coiling sensation like something inside him was trying to escape so it could burn. 

Harry could let Niall slip painkillers between his dry lips to get rid of the aches in his body, but no amount of tablets could get rid of the loss and betrayal, not that that was all Louis had left behind. The memory of his face when Harry had said all those terrible things to him was seared onto the insides of his eyelids, looking so tragically beautiful even when he was crying and his face was crumpled.

‘Harry?’

Niall’s voice was cautious from his bedroom doorway. He had left Harry alone for a few hours now and it was dark outside so Harry expected he was here to force some food down his throat. He didn’t feel much like eating though.

He grunted, looking at him through half-closed eyes.

Niall side stepped into the room properly and held out his hand. ‘It’s your mum.’

Harry focused properly and recognised the mobile phone Niall was holding. ‘Shit, she rang me?’ He asked, sitting up quickly and then regretting it when his ribs protested. ‘You spoke to her?’

Niall eyed him worriedly, still looking like he wanted to call an ambulance, but Harry managed a smile and he instantly relaxed.

‘Yeah, she knew who I was as soon as I started talking,’ Niall said, laughing a little. ‘And then she said something about how she had always wanted to visit Ireland and maybe you could arrange a big holiday for all of us.’ He shrugged as he pressed the phone into Harry’s hands. ‘I’ll be up for it. She said she was calling because you didn’t let her know you were back.’

Harry held his hand over the speaker. ‘Did you tell her?’ 

Niall shook his head. ‘I don’t know enough to tell.’

Harry pondered the situation for a moment before gesturing for Niall to stay in the room and putting the phone to his ear. It would be easier if he only had to explain it once.

‘Hey, Mum,’ he said as brightly as he could.

She sounded so happy to hear from him that he almost didn’t want to tell her what had happened, but he didn’t want to taint their new relationship with lies. He let her natter on for a few minutes about how wonderful it had been to see him, retelling stories that had only happened the day before, before he mustered the courage he needed. 

‘Mum, there’s something I need to tell you,’ he said warily, knowing that what he was about to say might crush her. He looked Niall in the eye as he spoke, talking to both of them. ‘Something happened when I got back.’

Over the next fifteen minutes, Harry slowly told them both what had happened. He had to stop several times, breathing raggedly as he ached and half-sobbed, reliving every minute that Louis had watched him be beaten down. Niall listened with a hand over his mouth, dismayed and distressed, and Harry had to squeeze his eyes shut so he wouldn’t have to watch his best friend’s silent tears. Even when he did that, he still had to listen to his mum sobbing on the phone, blaming herself and nearly hysterical, until suddenly it was Robin’s voice instead.

‘Harry, we’re going to call the police – no, I know you don’t want to get them involved, but we have to – and you just relax, okay? Let your friend look after you.’

Harry nodded feebly, forgetting he couldn’t be seen and opening his eyes when he felt the bed shift to find that Niall had moved, spooning against his side lightly in an attempt at comfort. He appreciated the notion but he still felt cold. It just wasn’t the same. 

He had spent the last couple nights either being held in strong arms or with his own arms wrapped around someone who fit so snugly against his chest that he never wanted to let them go, sharing a warmth that went further than skin deep. He had fallen asleep safe and woken up secure, now he was small and lost.

‘I want Louis,’ he whispered, before letting the phone slip from his hand.

Niall reached across and took it from him, muttering a few assurances that he would look after Harry to Robin before hanging up and letting Harry curl into him as best as he could.

‘Do you think he ever cared?’ Harry asked miserably.

Niall threaded his fingers through Harry’s curls, feeling his own heart breaking for him. 

‘I do,’ he said softly. 

‘Then why didn’t he help me?’ 

Niall didn’t have the answer, but he refused to believe the reason Louis had given, not after everything he had done for Harry and his family. It just didn’t make sense.

‘I don’t know, Harry,’ he sighed. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘No need to apologise. Should be him apologising.’ He winced as he snuggled a bit closer, wiping his nose surreptitiously on Niall’s sleeve. It was easier to talk now that he didn’t have his mum crying in his ear. ‘Actually, he did say sorry, but then I… well, you know.’

‘That’s when you shouted at him?’ Niall prompted before internally kicking himself, realising he probably should have just let that one go.

Harry groaned, half in pain and half from the memory. ‘Yeah, I shouted at him, oh god, Niall, he looked so torn apart, but I couldn’t shut myself up and I was just so _angry_ because he didn’t help and because of Rich and it made me feel so pathetic and weak and, and I – fuck – why did I say those things?’ He paused to wheeze in a breath. ‘I didn’t mean any of it.’

Niall cooed over him, offering wordless soothing as Harry battled with himself.

‘I was just sick of feeling like that, I thought I had escaped all that but then he was there again and I was back feeling like a worthless piece of shit. I’ve never been on the other side of that, I’ve never been the one who felt like the strong one, I’ve never been that guy. Even with Louis, it seemed like he was always the one in control, but with him I didn’t mind.’ He gave a small, cheerless laugh. ‘Did you know I slapped him once? Started crying as soon as I did it, of course.’

Niall chuckled into Harry’s hair. The idea of Harry getting violent with anyone seemed preposterous.

‘I find that hard to believe,’ he replied. ‘The slapping, not the crying, I mean.’

‘Well, I did. It didn’t feel like me afterwards but I just lashed out.’ He exhaled heavily through his nose. ‘Just like I lashed out earlier. Cliché, isn’t it?’

‘What?’ Niall asked, confused.

‘The bully at school is usually being bullied himself, right?’

‘So you’re saying you said those things to Louis to make yourself feel better about Rich?’

Harry hummed. ‘Pretty much.’

-

A couple days later and Harry still hadn’t moved much from his bed. There was no need for him to when Niall brought him all his meals on a tray and even brushed his hair. He’d probably wipe his arse if he asked him to.

‘How are you feeling today?’ Niall asked chirpily, throwing back the curtains and making Harry cower back under his duvet.

‘Like shit, thanks.’

Niall’s face fell. ‘Are you sure you don’t want to go to a doctor or anything?’

‘Yeah, I’m sure,’ Harry grunted. ‘It’s not that anyway, I don’t think anything broke and I can roll over without wanting to rip my eyes out. I just feel shit, you know?’

Niall perched at the end of the bed, looking at him sympathetically. ‘Louis?’ 

Harry knew he must have heard him talking in his sleep sometimes, often waking up in the middle of the night with Louis’ name on his lips.

‘Yeah, Louis.’

‘It’ll be alright, mate,’ Niall offered, patting him on the leg. ‘You told him you’d move on and you will.’ He said it even though he secretly wished that he didn’t have to.

Harry didn’t either though.

‘I don’t think I can move on, Niall. I don’t understand,’ he whined frustratedly. ‘I’ve only known him a few weeks and I know I keep saying that, but it should be easier than this.’

Niall shrugged. ‘If I gave you a puppy in the morning and took it away in the evening, would you be upset?’

‘Louis isn’t a puppy.’

‘Not my question.’

‘Well, yeah, I would,’ Harry admitted, adding hurriedly, ‘But it’s different.’

‘Is it?’ Niall asked, with an annoying knowing look on his face. ‘Sometimes you fall fast, but it doesn’t mean any less than when you fall slowly.’ 

Harry stared at him cynically. ‘When did you get all poetic?’

Niall laughed and ruffled Harry’s hair. ‘You’re the one that makes me watch all those rom-coms.’

Harry smiled up at him and threw back his duvet, suddenly feeling like maybe he could make it further than just the bathroom. ‘Any more words of wisdom for me?’

Niall stooped down and looped an arm around his waist to help him to his feet, grinning when he didn’t see any pained expressions or hear any sounds of discomfort. ‘Maybe just a few more.’

‘Yeah?’ Harry responded, attempting to stretch his back until he realised that maybe that was pushing it. ‘Do tell. Who knows, we might be able to make a revelation before lunch.’

Niall considered him for a moment, seeming to think things over carefully before saying, ‘It’s how you spent the time, not how much time was spent.’

Harry snorted. ‘Did you read that off of a greeting card?’

Niall shrugged a shoulder and chucked a fresh t-shirt at him. ‘Wouldn’t make it any less true.’

-

Harry spent the day in the living room, hoping he could be distracted long enough for Louis to crawl out from under his skin, because there wasn’t enough room in there for the both of them. 

-

‘Get out.’

Harry looked up from his book, startled. ‘Shouldn’t it be me saying that to you?’

Niall rolled his eyes impatiently. ‘How are you feeling today? Body-wise.’

‘Pretty good actually,’ Harry admitted, stretching a little on the sofa.

‘Good. Now get out,’ Niall repeated.

‘You’re going to have to elaborate on what you mean by that, mate.’

‘I just think it’d be good for you to get out into the fresh air for a bit. You haven’t been outside for nearly a week.’

‘That’s because someone decided to use me as a punching bag,’ Harry retorted.

‘But you say you’re feeling better and I can see that you are,’ Niall persisted. ‘It’s just your head that needs sorting out now and walking around in the _real_ world can help with that kind of thing.’

Harry furrowed his eyebrows. ‘Something tells me you just want to get rid of me.’

Niall rolled his eyes again. ‘It’s not that, I’m just sick of seeing you wallow around the flat like some kind of, I don’t know, like some kind of _walrus_.’

Harry laughed, feeling it right in his belly, something they had both missed, and the sight made Niall smile, pleased. 

‘Right, so that’s decided,’ Niall said determinedly. ‘Your task for today is to leave the flat.’

-

It didn’t happen that day. Harry fell asleep and dreamt that Louis pushed him off of a moving lorry. He woke up with Niall’s arms already around him, face wet with tears.

‘I miss him,’ he choked. 

‘I know you do,’ Niall murmured, rocking him gently. ‘You’ll be okay.’

‘I just want to know what changed,’ Harry continued, repeating what he always repeated, voice catching.

‘Maybe you could talk to him?’ Niall suggested hopefully. ‘Get some closure and all that.’

Harry shook his head fervently. ‘I can’t face him. Not after what he did and the things I said. It’d be too hard.’ 

-

It had been a week since Harry last saw Louis and he was finally taking Niall’s advice and leaving the flat.

Niall had gone back to his own place the day before after he had made sure Harry no longer needed to be waited on hand and foot. It took longer than necessary to persuade him considering they lived along the same corridor.

Nonetheless, Harry still found his best friend sat on his sofa that evening, flicking through the channels like he didn’t have his own television just next door.

‘I’m going out,’ he announced, slipping on his shoes.

Niall looked up, alarmed, and checked the time. ‘But it’s nearly ten!’

Harry rolled his eyes, pulling on his jacket. ‘And I’m not twelve, I’m allowed to be out after dark.’

‘You’ll ring me if you need anything?’ Niall checked, standing up and assessing him. ‘And you won’t do anything stupid?’

‘I’m only going for a walk, probably just around the block or something. I’ll be back within half an hour probably,’ he assured, walking them both out of the flat. ‘Like you said, it’ll be good for clearing my head.’

-

Harry didn’t leave his building knowing that he was going to end up in this one. He honestly thought he would only be going for a walk around the block, but the fresh air had rejuvenated his mind and he just carried on going until he found himself pushing open a door and nodding at a familiar bouncer.

It felt like ages since he had last been in here and it was almost comforting until he caught sight of the stage. It was set for a special show, that much was clear. The pole that usually stood centre stage had been moved forward so that it was now in front of what looked like a row of jail bars. 

It wasn’t too late for him to leave, he could walk right back out the door, run home and watch a shitty film with Niall, and he wouldn’t have to see Louis.

It wouldn’t have been too late if Liam didn’t come through the door ten seconds after he did, bumping right into him and nearly knocking him over.

‘Christ, I’m so sorr – _Harry_?’

‘Um… hi.’ He was a bit scared that Liam was going to hit him and took a furtive step back. ‘Not working tonight?’

Liam just continued to stare at him, gobsmacked. ‘You’re here?’ he said, making it sound more like a question.

Maybe this had been a bad idea.

‘Yeah, no, actually I was just going,’ Harry half-lied. ‘I’ll just…’ He made to step around him, but then Liam’s hand closed around his bicep, not in a threatening way but, judging by the look on his face, in a pleading way.

‘You’re here,’ he repeated, this time more surely, and then his face softened like butter. ‘Louis’ going to be so _happy_ that you’ve forgiven him! He’s been feeling like absolute shit, not himself at all, it’s been awful to see. When he’s not on stage he’s either moping or so drunk you’d think he were on crack or something, I can’t wait for him to see you! I’m so, so, so glad you’re here. Not only for Lou, but I’ve missed having someone to talk to at the bar, you know, you’d think at least someone would fancy a chat but —‘ His voice trailed off when he noticed Harry nibbling at his lip, looking indecisive and dejected. ‘Harry?’

Harry sighed. ‘Sorry, Liam,’ he mumbled. ‘I don’t think I should be here.’

Liam’s face fell and he let his hand fall away from Harry’s arm. ‘But you are here.’

‘I don’t know how I got here though,’ he shrugged. ‘Louis told you what happened?’ 

Liam nodded, eyes flickering briefly to where Harry’s scarf had drooped to reveal the fingerprint bruises on his neck. 

‘Well, I don’t think I can forgive him yet. And I don’t think he can forgive me.’

‘Forgive you? For what?’

Harry looked at him, dumbfounded, like it was obvious. ‘For what I said to him, the things I accused him of and… everything.’

Liam shook his head hurriedly. ‘He’s not mad at you for that, Harry, listen – did you want to sit down?’

‘Not at the bar tonight?’ Harry asked, following Liam to a table at the back, one that didn’t have a stripper pole in the middle of it.

‘Not tonight, took the night off to go see Zayn read at a poetry night,’ Liam said, smiling and ducking his head slightly.

‘You’re a good friend,’ Harry commented, watching the blush on Liam’s cheeks and wondering if there was more to it than that.

‘Yeah,’ Liam nodded, looking far away before shaking himself and becoming focused again. ‘Listen, Harry, Louis isn’t angry for what you said to him. If you’re worried about angry people, I’d watch out for Zayn though, he’s like a lioness with a cub when it comes to Lou and, to be honest, you’re lucky I prefer to talk things out first else I’d be right with him waiting to knock your lights out.’

Harry gulped and shrank back on his chair a bit.

‘Louis is upset though, fucking miserable. What you said was really… well, I never would have thought you’d say those things to him and that’s why I’m sitting here and talking to you instead of punching you in the throat for hurting my friend. I don’t believe you meant what you said.’ Liam spoke with such certainty that it made Harry feel uneasy.

‘How can you know that though?’ he asked. ‘You know me even less than Louis does. We barely know each other,’ he said bluntly.

‘I know the way your face used to go when Louis was out on stage,’ Liam replied easily, not taking any offence. ‘And I don’t mean that horny teenager face, I mean the other one, the one when you’d just look at him like he was the most perfect thing you had ever seen. You probably didn’t even realise you were making it, people often don’t unless they accidentally catch sight of their reflection when they’re doing it.’ He paused and rubbed a hand over his face tiredly. ‘Then you feel like a right idiot.’

Harry observed him curiously. ‘You sound like you’re speaking from experience.’

Liam looked him in the eye for a moment before letting out a long breath. ‘Let’s just say, I really could have used having someone to talk to at the bar this past week.’

Harry leant forward across the table, eager to listen to someone else’s issues over discussing his own. ‘Yeah?’

‘Yeah,’ Liam said, shaking his head like he was trying to shuffle his thoughts around. ‘Some weird stuff has been happening and I, well, I don’t know.’

‘Come on, you can tell me,’ Harry encouraged.

Liam smiled wryly. ‘Can I? According to you we barely know each other.’

He’d walked right into that one. ‘Well, I —‘

‘Let’s make a deal,’ Liam cut in. ‘You tell me your side of the story, every detail, because there has to be a good reason for you to have said the things you did to someone like Louis and if I don’t get one then I’m afraid you’re going to feel the pain.’ He paused and bit back a smirk like he had just told a joke, but Harry only looked at him blankly. ‘Oh, I should probably have told you beforehand that my surname is Payne, as in P-A-Y-N-E, so you’d be feeling the Payne, get it?’

Harry forced a short laugh and it was enough for Liam to carry on.

‘Anyway, you tell me your side and then I’ll tell you what’s been going on with me, okay? Seem like a fair trade?’

Harry nodded, dreading having to explain himself because he really didn’t feel like his reasons would be good enough, he had just felt weak and betrayed, there was nothing else to it.

‘One condition,’ he said, biding his time. ‘You go first.’

Liam narrowed his eyes at him. ‘Do you promise you’re not just going to run out of here after I’ve spilt my beans?’

Harry glanced over at the stage, trying to gauge whether or not Louis would be appearing any time soon.

‘If that’s what you’re worried about then don’t worry, he shouldn’t be on for a while yet,’ Liam assured, seeming to read his mind.

Harry smiled bashfully and held out his little finger. ‘Okay, I pinky promise that I will tell you.’ 

Liam linked their pinkies together. ‘And I promise that I won’t make you face Louis if you don’t want to.’ 

Harry’s face contorted into something that was half thankful and half a grimace. ‘Cheers.’

They uncrossed their fingers and Harry waited expectantly for Liam to start talking. He was sure that he knew where this was going, but he didn’t say anything, watching silently as Liam ran a hand through his short hair, looking a little perplexed.

‘It’s about Zayn,’ Liam started, but then the door to the club opened and Harry reflexively turned to look.

Their eyes met like they were homing beacons for each other, and Harry quite forgot how to breathe but he knew he was still alive because he could feel his heart thumping wildly in his throat. Louis seemed to freeze as well, his lips falling open into a perfect ‘o’ that Harry wanted to trace with his thumb. 

In that moment, Harry would have probably been willing to forgive and forget everything if it meant he could walk over to Louis and kiss him like they had never been apart. In that moment, he would have put it all in the past if he could nudge his nose along the stubble on Louis’ jaw or play with the floppy hair of his fringe. In that moment, Harry would have taken all of the blame because Louis looked like Louis, whole and beautiful and ready to fall for, but moments slip away.

Louis’ mouth snapped shut and the eyes that had flickered with relief and everything warm, became cold. He turned away and walked briskly backstage without another look back.


	19. Chapter 19

Harry watched Louis walk away and felt all of his insides turn to stone and sink right down to his feet, anchoring him to the floor so he wouldn’t have been able to go after him even if he had the balls to.

He turned back around to Liam who was watching the door Louis had disappeared behind with a baffled expression.

‘Thought you said he wasn’t angry,’ Harry mumbled sullenly, suddenly wishing he had a drink or five in his hand. ‘Didn’t exactly look pleased to see me.’

Liam rubbed the back of his neck, face tight with concern. ‘I didn’t think he was, I thought he was just sad.’

Harry shrugged, feeling a little numb. ‘Maybe he’s good at hiding it.’

‘That’s the thing,’ Liam said, shaking his head and looking thoroughly perplexed. ‘In the time I’ve known Louis I’ve never known him to hide anything like that. When he’s pissed off about something he lets the whole world know.’

‘Maybe I broke him,’ Harry muttered. His voice was flat but he felt jagged inside. ‘Maybe I fucked him up too.’

He didn’t realise he had been tugging at his hair until Liam’s hand found his wrist and pulled it away. His scalp was burning and there were a few loose strands between his fingers, but he couldn’t find a part of him that cared.

‘Don’t say that, Harry,’ Liam said firmly. ‘Look, I’ll ask Zayn, he knows Louis better, maybe he is angry and I just haven’t seen it or something, I don’t know.’ He gripped Harry’s forearm securely. ‘It was probably just a shock seeing you here.’

Harry nodded, unsure what to say. He felt like the only person who hated him more than Louis did was himself.

‘I need a drink,’ he stated.

Liam looked like he wanted to object but before he could say as much, Harry was on his feet and slouching over to the bar. He could feel Liam’s eyes watching him the whole time he was ordering, catching the way his hands trembled slightly as he handed over the money to the unfamiliar bartender and how he still moved cautiously, mindful of the bruises that still stained his skin.

‘Isn’t that a bit excessive?’ Liam asked when he returned to the table, eyeing the tray full of shot glasses warily.

‘No,’ he replied shortly, tossing a bright green shot back. ‘So tell me about Zayn.’

‘I don’t thi—‘

‘Liam, please.’ Harry didn’t want to think about Louis, not right now. ‘Pinky promise, remember?’

‘Harry…’

‘Liam.’

He selected a red shot next, the burn in the back of his throat making his toes curl into the insoles of his shoes. He squeezed his eyes shut against the sour assault and when he opened them again Liam looked resigned and he knew he had gotten his way.

‘Fine,’ he sighed. ‘You still have to keep up your end of the deal though.’

Harry’s forefinger and thumb circled another shot glass. ‘Why wouldn’t I? Seeing him doesn’t change anything. Already thought he hated me.’

‘He doesn’t ha—‘ Liam began, but Harry pursed his lips together and he fell silent. He shuffled in his seat a little, face still lined with worry. ‘Right.’

‘Just get on with it, mate,’ Harry said wearily, pushing a pink shot across the table.

Liam sighed and reluctantly downed the glass. His face contorted dramatically with the taste and Harry could tell he wasn’t a big drinker.

‘I don’t really know how to start,’ he admitted, distractedly plucking a polo mint from his pocket and crunching it between his teeth.

Harry let another shot slide down his throat, beginning to feel a little more at ease already – maybe he should have had something to eat first. ‘How about you start from when you first realised you wanted to fuck Zayn?’

Liam promptly choked, coughing peppermint breath into Harry’s face.

It was either the alcohol or Liam’s comically bewildered expression, but Harry found himself laughing. It was superficial, only starting at the back of his mouth somewhere between his heavy tongue and burning throat, but it was enough for now.

‘I-I don’t want to fuck, I mean, I don’t want to have sex with Zayn!’ Liam spluttered. ‘Christ, Harry. I mean, I guess maybe on some level I do, but that’s not really what my problem is.’

Harry nodded, tipping back on his chair so he could feel like he was saving himself every time he caught hold of the table edge. ‘Explain.’ He downed his next shot, something creamy.

‘Do you promise you won’t tell anyone?’ Liam asked seriously.

Harry laughed his half-laugh again. ‘Who am I going to tell? I’m hardly going to run backstage and have a gossip with Louis.’ Another shot. He didn’t know what colour it was. ‘Just spill.’

‘Right. Well, I guess it’s kind of hard not to notice that Zayn’s, well…’ his voice trailed off, cheeks going rosy.

‘One of the most beautiful people on the planet?’ Harry finished for him. He could think of only one other person he’d put higher up on that list, but he pushed Louis’ crinkled eyes to the back of his mind. Another shot. ‘Yeah, I had noticed.’

Liam cleared his throat and fidgeted on his seat, playing with an empty shot glass. ‘Yeah. At first I thought it was just that, you know? Just noticing. A guy can appreciate another guy’s attractiveness without it meaning anything, but then…’ He dragged his nails through his hair. ‘Christ, I can’t stop thinking about him.’

‘So do something about it,’ Harry said bluntly.

‘He thinks I’m straight,’ Liam said simply. ‘I did too until he came along.’

‘Doesn’t matter,’ Harry shrugged, nearly knocking over the next shot glass when he reached for it. ‘You start flirting and flashing those biceps of yours and he’ll be on you like flies to shit, mate.’

‘Thanks,’ Liam said wryly. ‘But I doubt that.’

Harry dragged the back of his hand across his mouth and let another empty shot glass join the collection on the table. ‘Why?’

‘He’s just…’ Liam let out a long breath. ‘Like tonight, right? I went to go see him read at this poetry night his course does every month and just the way he was talking… The words flowed out of his mouth like he was just having a normal conversation, except every sentence had been constructed in a way that I never would have thought to do.’ He let out a fond little breath. ‘Harry, you should have seen how he looked in that spotlight. It’s different to the lights we have here, they were, I don’t know, softer. They complemented him in a different way. Made him look so… unattainable.’

Harry could see the affection on Liam’s face despite the blurry edges the alcohol was giving everything, and it made him jealous because for them it was all still new. There were still possibilities that they could explore, whereas he had driven his to a cliff top and let Louis help push them off.

‘Tell’im,’ he slurred. Christ, had he drank that much already?

Liam’s hand twitched like he wanted to move the remaining shots away from him, but he didn’t, absorbed momentarily by his own woes.

‘I can’t. He doesn’t even know that I went to his poetry thing.’

‘Even better!’ Harry declared, voice louder than he intended. ‘He’ll swoon over the whole admiring in secret from afar thing.’

‘Or he’ll think I’m a stalker.’

Harry tipped his head back and poured another shot right down his throat, barely even tasting it. ‘Maybe. Chance you’ll have to take, young squire.’

‘I guess.’ Liam massaged the space above his eyes like he was trying to smooth out the creases. ‘Well, I suppose that’s really all there is to my story.’

‘That’s not even a story though,’ Harry argued, delaying.

‘Well, I don’t really know what else to say about it,’ Liam sighed. ‘I like Zayn, Zayn thinks I’m straight, Zayn’s out of my league, I’m a loser. Very cliché.’

Harry nodded as sagely as he could manage. ‘Still think you should just talk to him, babe.’

Liam raised an eyebrow. ‘Babe?’

‘Babe,’ he repeated with a wink, but Liam couldn’t be distracted and Harry slumped his shoulders. ‘S’at mean it’s my turn?’ he asked. He was reluctant but he felt less nervous now that he had more empty shot glasses than he could hold in two hands.

Liam nodded grimly. ‘Unless you’re the kind of bastard who breaks a pinky promise.’ His voice was light, but his face was set in such a way that Harry knew backing out would be a mistake.

‘N’ worries, I mean what I say, I do,’ he assured drunkenly.

‘Yeah?’ Liam challenged. ‘So you meant what you said to Louis?’

Harry only flinched a little.

‘No,’ he replied. ‘Not all of it.’ He tipped the glasses onto their sides so he could slip them onto his fingers and wear them like oversized hats. ‘Do you ever just get angry?’

‘Sometimes,’ Liam said slowly. ‘Why were you angry?’

Harry scoffed. ‘Why do you think? I had just gotten the shit beaten out of me and the guy who calls himself my boyfriend did fuck all about it.’ He paused, eyes flickering involuntarily to the door on the other side of the room. ‘Called. The guy who called himself my boyfriend.’

He was beginning to feel sad and he didn’t want that. It was easier to feel angry.

‘Did he tell you why?’ he asked, looking up to see Liam watching him charily, like he was a dodgy toaster that might set on fire at any minute. ‘Well?’ he snapped. ‘Did he tell you?’

‘He told me what he told you,’ Liam answered carefully. ‘But, Harry —‘

‘Don’t try and defend him,’ Harry interrupted sharply, or as sharply as he could when the alcohol seemed to have a harness on his tongue. ‘He cares more about how he looks than me, and you know what? That’s fine.’ His fist clenched around a shot glass he had just drained. ‘That’s fucking fine.’

‘No, Harry,’ Liam tried earnestly. ‘Just think, okay? The Louis you know, do you really think that would be his only reason for not helping you? Do you think that would be his reason at all?’

‘The Louis I know,’ Harry repeated bitterly, folding his arms across his chest. ‘Who even is the Louis I know?’

Liam said nothing, just sat helplessly, so Harry carried on.

‘A month ago I didn’t even know he existed, then he starts grinding up on me in a public bathroom, then he doesn’t even fuck me, then he does fuck me but says we’re just friends, then he says he’s my boyfriend and whisks me off out of the city to reunite me with my family and now…’ He trailed off, breathing in deeply. ‘And now he’s nothing.’

Silence lay between them and Harry thought he had won, though what his prize was he didn’t know, but then Liam asked a question that seemed so obvious he nearly didn’t answer.

‘Were you scared, Harry?’

‘Was I scared when a man built like a brick shit house was laying into me? What do you think?’ he asked sourly.

‘Exactly.’

Harry blinked at him. ‘Huh?’

Liam’s face took on that of someone explaining something to a child. ‘You don’t think Louis was scared as well?’

Harry hadn’t considered that, having completely disregarded any other explanation than the one Louis had provided him with. Now that he thought about it, it seemed quite simple . ‘He was just scared?’

Liam nibbled his lip, not wanting to say too much without Louis’ permission, and gave the stage a sidelong glance. ‘Listen, I don’t know why he thought telling you all that other crap was a good idea, but just give him another chance, yeah? We all get scared and believe me, from the way he’s been acting I’m sure he wishes he could do it all over again.’

Harry’s head felt kind of light but his neck still swayed as if it was too heavy, and he didn’t think he could process what he was being told. ‘You saying I’m the bad guy then?’

Liam shook his head quickly. ‘There is no bad guy here. Well, apart from your ex-stepdad.’

‘I am the bad guy,’ Harry said again, like he hadn’t even heard him. ‘You’re saying I shouted at him when he was already scared. Kicked a puppy, didn’t I? Funny really because Niall asked me if I’d miss a puppy.’

‘Yeah…’ Liam looked concerned, clearly regretting not stopping Harry from drinking so much. ‘Just try and talk to him, maybe?’

Harry snorted, but somehow it morphed into a laugh and before either of them knew it, he was cackling like a witch. Liam just stared at him, stunned, waiting anxiously for him to calm down.

‘Talk to him?’ Harry asked breathlessly, eyes watering. ‘Did you not see how he blanked me just now? He probably never wants to see me again.’

‘Okay, maybe not right now, but maybe make it known that you want to talk to him. Let him know you don’t hate him anymore.’

Any residual laughter died in Harry’s throat. ‘Never hated him,’ he said gruffly. ‘Just mad. Confused. Hurt a lot.’ His eyes were still watering.

‘Harry.’ Liam’s voice was soft and he faintly registered the feel of a hand covering his, comforting. ‘Neither of you meant what you said. Your communication’s just a bit… off.’

Harry gave a tight, watery smile. ‘That’s been a problem for us before, you know.’ He felt something splash onto the back of his hand. ‘Am I crying?’

Liam handed him a napkin. ‘’Fraid so, mate.’

‘Think I had a few too many,’ he admitted dopily, wiping the tissue hastily across his face. ‘I get a bit stupid when I’m drunk.’

Liam hummed knowingly then glanced down at his watch, his expression turning fretful.

‘Shit,’ he muttered quietly under his breath, before looking up and plastering an encouraging look on his face. ‘Maybe we should get you in a taxi home, mate.’

‘Good idea,’ Harry agreed obliviously, but then his attention was snatched as the main lights dimmed and the jail bars on stage were illuminated. ‘S’goin’ on?’

‘Nothing, nothing,’ Liam said hurriedly, getting to his feet and making to guide Harry out. ‘Come on, I’ll walk you to the rank.’

Harry turned against Liam’s grasp, eyes wide and bleary as they focused on the stage.

Louis was standing facing away from the audience, back pressed up against the jail bars and hands outstretched with fingers curled around the thin columns. His legs were covered in tight black denim and when he turned to the side to wink through the bars, Harry could see the black and white striped t-shirt he wore under a black jacket. His hair was styled up in a quiff like Harry had never seen before, making him look even more like something from a fifties music video. When Louis’ hips started swaying Harry couldn’t remember if he was supposed to be angry or sad.

The beat changed and Louis was suddenly facing forward, body up close to the bars so he could grind down them as he swung his hips, knees bending and legs spreading. As he squatted close to the ground, Harry’s eyes honed in on his thighs, straining against the denim as he balanced on his toes, and the alcohol started working in that other way, the way that made him horny as hell.

He wasn’t even sure if Liam was still holding onto him because Louis was standing up again, holding onto the bars as he pushed his arse back, emphasising the curve of his spine.

‘What you in jail for, hot stuff?’ someone shouted from near the front, throwing a crumpled up £5 note through the bars.

Louis licked his lips, not breaking routine as he slowly shed the jacket to reveal just how tight his t-shirt was, with short sleeves cut just above the bulge of his biceps. He waited for a break in the music before saying, ‘I did naughty things… to myself.’

There was loud catcalling from the crowd and Harry felt his dick twitch in his boxers. He was familiar with the naughty things Louis did to himself, and he was too lost in the definition of Louis’ arms to think about how that was in the past now.

‘Wouldn’t mind you doing some of those naughty things right now!’ A gang of middle aged women burst into peals of giggles, but Harry quite agreed.

Louis wrapped one hand around a bar and used the other to stroke alongside his quiff and then winked in the direction of the women, letting his hand slip down, down, down until he was groping at his crotch and thrusting forward.

The crowd went wild and Harry thought he might pass out because the whole room was spinning, all apart from the few square metres of stage that Louis occupied, throwing himself up against the bars, wiggling, grinding and stretching.

The music quietened. ‘What do I have to do to break out of prison?’ Louis asked the audience, hooking his thumb into the top of his jeans and pulling down, showing off a sliver of his delicious skin.

Harry bit his lip. Louis’ voice was low and sultry, the way it was all those times just before he’d fuck him. It’d been so long since Harry had been fucked – or at least a week felt like a long time when drunk and desperate for a shag.

‘Get your kit off!’ a man with a brightly coloured cocktail yelled, twirling his straw playfully.

Harry wanted to smack him and thank him at the same time.

Louis pretended to ponder it, biting his finger seductively and then sucking it into his mouth. Harry squinted so he could see Louis’ pink tongue curling around the digit and then squeezed his eyes closed, because he could feel his flies pressing against his cock and he was almost drunk enough to put his hand down his pants in public.

The music started picking up again and Louis’ forefingers and thumbs made L-shapes, framing his groin as he pushed his hips forward. The crowd were chanting ‘off, off, off’ and Harry would be too if he could speak.

Louis pouted questioningly, spreading his palms flat down his thighs, and turned slowly on the spot. Harry watched raptly as he bent over until it looked like the seams might split with how the material stretched around his arse, but then Louis was grabbing the hems around his ankles and pulling and the jeans ripped off from the front to expose a black thong, not unlike the one he wore when he brought Harry up on stage.

Harry forgot how to breathe and leant into the solid weight at his side that he hoped was Liam. The noise the audience made rang in his ears like a warning bell that had sounded too late because the fire had already started, burning hotter and hotter as Louis ran his hand up the back of his thigh just like he had done in Harry’s childhood bedroom.

When Louis straightened up, hands on his own arse, he spun back around to face out into the room, wearing just the thong and the black and white striped t-shirt. He started undulating against his prison prop again, the bulge between his legs slotting between the bars repeatedly until he pulled away to tease the hem of his t-shirt and wink at the crowd.

‘Get it off, love! You won’t fit through the bars with a shirt on!’ the man with the cocktail insisted foolishly, clearly the voice of the people when everyone else started cheering.

Louis bit his lip and Harry felt himself mirroring the action, slipping his hand into his pocket so he could touch himself just a little bit when Louis’ body moved like a wave as he peeled the shirt off over his head.

He was just as gorgeous as the images Harry held in his battered memory, the string of his thong sitting nicely on his hips to emphasise the curves of his torso, and the pouch low enough for Harry to make out the slight dip between his tummy and where the hair grew coarser.

The music changed slightly so that it wouldn’t sound out of place in an action film and Louis gripped onto two bars, his arms tensing into something Harry wanted to see holding his legs apart. He stared avidly, thumb subtly stroking his erection through his pocket as Louis made an insanely pornographic face like an exaggerated – but not ineffectual – version of the expressions Harry had extracted from him using his tongue, his fingers and his cock. Once upon a time.

Harry groaned low in his throat, unsure if he was feeling nauseous from the alcohol or from the way Louis was bending the bars out of shape so that he could step between them, one tanned thigh first, followed by his bare hips and chest.

He strutted forward under the spotlight until he reached the pole, reaching high so he could pull himself up, legs wrapping around the metal until he relinquished his grip and leant back, only held on by the strength of his thighs. Dimples appeared in his arse cheeks as he tensed and Harry wanted to push his thumbs into them, but at the same time he didn’t want to interrupt the art on stage as Louis lowered himself until he hung upside down, arms dangling and then holding onto the pole again so he was all stretched out. He was the wrong way up but there was nothing wrong about it.

Harry was in awe, sure the alcohol was playing tricks on him when Louis’ legs unwrapped and spread wide apart, because there was no way Louis could stay upside down on the pole by arm strength alone, but he could. His face was pure concentration and Harry could count the tendons and veins that popped in the most masculine way along his arms, but then his eyes drifted upward and his hand reflexively pressed down on his erection.

With Louis’ legs splayed, the string of his thong could be seen clearly, nestled intimately down the middle of his arse, right where Harry wanted to be. Harry wanted to pluck it from between the cheeks and replace it with his tongue, or maybe whip it off completely so he could wear it instead to drive Louis crazy in the same way. He wanted to do so many things, but there was a voice at the back of his mind telling him that he might never get the chance. He snatched a shot glass from a passing tray and downed whatever was in it to keep the voice quiet.

He let the empty glass tinkle to the floor as Louis’ legs curled around the pole again, pulling himself up again and keeping his back curved beautifully until his hands found purchase. His cock was pushed to one side of the pole as he slid down it, landing in a crouch and hauling himself to a standing position with one hand so his crotch pushed against the metal again like he was fucking into it.

Harry was so hard he thought he might come in his pants.

-

He was tall, taller than Harry, and broad like a tank with dark hair and darker eyes. Harry wasn’t sure how they ended up dancing in the corner, away from any lights and any people, but he liked the way the guy’s hands held the small of his back, keeping him close. Their hips swayed together and Harry could feel him hard through his jeans, could feel the wall pressing against his shoulder blades as he was backed into it.

If he wasn’t so drunk he might have felt cheap, dry humping a stranger in a strip club, but he had missed the intimacy of another body, the feel of stubble grazing his cheek and the pleasure clawing up his spine when hot breath danced in his ear.

‘You wanna get out of here?’

Harry jolted slightly. For some reason he hadn’t expected the guy’s voice to be that deep.

He slipped his thumbs through the stranger’s belt loops and leant up so he could press his lips to his ear. ‘Depends where we’d be going.’

He felt hands slide down the back of his jeans and boxers, rough and calloused on the bare skin of his bum. He moaned, eyes slipping closed as fingers stroked down the cleft promisingly.

‘Wherever you want,’ the guy whispered. ‘As long as I can get this.’

‘Filthy bastard,’ he replied, pushing his arse back. ‘My place isn’t far from here.’

The guy turned his face into Harry’s neck, groaning as he bit down on the skin, and Harry felt goosebumps raise up on his arms.

If he was sober he would have known that it was a bad idea, something that he would regret within minutes of it happening, but he wasn’t sober. He was out of his face, only upright because there was a firm body sandwiching him against a wall and only not crying because there was someone within arm’s reach who wanted him back.

-

Louis watched from across the room, burning like ice.

-


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is quite short

Louis thumps his fist down on the bar next to where Liam is sitting having a chat with the bartender on shift, making him clutch his heart like an old woman watching a 3D film for the first time.

‘Christ,’ he gasps, eyeing the fist before examining the small ball of fury it appears to be attached to. ‘What’s wrong with you tonight?’

‘What do you think?’ he snaps, reaching for Liam’s pint and downing what’s left of it. ‘Nothing different from what’s been wrong with me the past week. Nothing new.’

Liam sighs, easing the now-empty glass out Louis’ grip. ‘I thought he talked to you.’

Louis barks a bitter laugh, but stares straight ahead so Liam can’t see the look in his eye. ‘What gave you that idea?’

‘Well, he was ready to leap into your arms the minute you walked in here. Obviously, your reaction didn’t really allow for that, but after your show he said something about going to find you,’ Liam shrugs. He watches Louis’ profile carefully. ‘I didn’t see either of you so I assumed you were working it out somewhere.’

‘I was clearing up some stuff backstage,’ Louis mutters, trying to ignore the small flutter he felt because, fuck, what he would give to have Harry in his arms again. ‘And it looks like Harry found something else to do anyway.’

‘Huh?’ Liam swivels on his stool to scan the room, squinting against the poor lighting. ‘I can’t see him.’

Louis takes a breath and grinds his teeth together. ‘Try looking behind the behemoth in the corner.’

Liam’s eyes widen as they catch on the top of Harry’s hair, just visible over the top of a broad back that’s shielding the rest of him from view. He turns to face Louis slowly, hesitantly placing a placating hand on his arm.

‘He’s really drunk,’ he says, because it’s the only thing he can think of to try and make Louis feel better. ‘It’s you he wants, honestly, but he thinks you’re mad at him.’

‘I am mad at him,’ Louis hisses, clenching his fist harder so Liam can feel the muscles in his arm tightening. 

‘I know you th—‘

‘Obviously not,’ he bites venomously, but then he turns his head and there is none of the same poison in his eyes. 

‘Lou,’ Liam says softly. ‘You don’t have to do this.’

‘Do what?’ He sniffs like he’s being aloof, but his voice quivers just a little and he isn’t fooling anyone. ‘I’m not doing anything. I’m mad at him and he’s mad at me. We were both dicks. He said he was going to move on and he has. And that’s fine.’ He runs his hand through his hair, not-so-surreptitiously rubbing over his eyes as well. ‘That’s fucking fine.’

‘You sound like Harry,’ Liam comments quietly. ‘All that passive aggressive bravado didn’t stop me from knocking some sense into him and it won’t stop me doing the same to you. You weren’t angry yesterday or the day before that.’ 

Louis blinks at him. ‘I feel like shit,’ he says shortly, but then he ducks his head, and his voice shrinks. ‘Seeing him was just… a bit unexpected, you know? And I felt like I couldn’t be sad in front of him. He’s already seen me cry once because of all that stuff.’

‘Sounds to me like you just made it worse,’ says a voice at his other shoulder, making both Louis and Liam jump a little, though Liam’s reaction is decidedly more skittish.

‘Zayn, for fuck’s sake, I’m fragile, don’t creep up on me like that!’ Louis scolds, but the usual bossy edge isn’t quite there. 

‘Sorry, man,’ he apologises, slipping onto the bar stool next to him. ‘I was at a reading and thought I’d stop by to see how you were getting on.’ 

Louis raises an eyebrow and Liam coughs conspicuously. 

‘Yeah?’ he questions.

Zayn rolls his eyes. ‘Fine, Liam texted me and told me Harry was here.’ He throws Liam a wink that Louis doesn’t fail to notice makes the man flush an indecent shade of magenta. ‘But he did also say that you two were making up…’ 

Louis scoffs half-heartedly. ‘Yeah, Harry is otherwise occupied.’

‘How do you mean?’ Zayn asks, talking more to Liam because Louis’ forehead is now resting on the bar.

‘He’s over there,’ Liam supplies, gesturing with a thumb to the back corner. ‘With someone.’

Zayn’s jaw tightens, shooting a protective glance to the top of Louis’ head before turning to look. After a few seconds he turns back, looking confused.

‘I can’t see him. Maybe you were imagining things, Lou,’ he soothes, resting one hand on the softly feathered crown of Louis’ head.

‘I know what I saw. Liam saw it too,’ he mumbles into the wooden counter.

‘Zayn’s right, they’re not there anymore,’ Liam says, scouring the room and coming up empty. ‘They must have left.’

Neither of them are expecting it when Louis shoots bolt upright, face taut. He stares straight ahead, but his eyes are darting from side to side minutely and narrowing like he’s watching something play out that he wishes he wasn’t.

‘Fuck this,’ he whispers.

‘Louis?’ Zayn says cautiously, mirroring Liam when he stands up pre-emptively.

‘Fuck this,’ he says again, only louder. He can feel the anger trying to beat out of his chest again, only this time he knows what to do with it. ‘Fuck, how many times am I going to fuck this up before I get it right? _Fuck_.’ 

He’s marched halfway across the room before Zayn manages to grab him, spinning him around.

‘Where are you going?’ he demands, Liam not far behind.

‘I’m not letting that twat any nearer to him that he already has been,’ he hisses, jealously flaring up like a bonfire and there’s only one person he wants to see burning in those flames. ‘I’m going to do what I should have done a week ago.’

Zayn lets go of him, something like concern and pride mixing into a semi-pained expression on his face, and Louis is immediately off again toward the exit. 

‘What are you going to do, Lou?’ Liam calls after him, standing beside Zayn as they watch him push open the door.

Louis pauses, half-in and half-out, looking hell-bent almost to the point of being possessed. 

‘I’m going to fight for him.’

-

His back is pressed against a wall, his head is thumping and if it weren’t for the change in lighting, Harry might think he’s still at the club. The guy – Dan? – has his mouth attached to Harry’s neck again with one hand cupped tightly to his backside and the other pushing down steadily on his groin, curling slightly around the length of him. Harry moans loudly, squeezing at Dan’s shoulders and feeling the thick muscle tensing beneath his fingers, gasping when the hand disappears from the front of his jeans and hitches him up so both of his legs are wrapped around Dan’s waist and their hips are aligned, thrusting against each other. 

Harry can feel a bruise forming where the curve of his spine is being shoved against the wall, but he doesn’t care, not with the overwhelming buzz of alcohol sloshing through his system and the feel of something hard pressing into the crease of his groin.

‘Gonna fuck you soon, yeah,’ Dan mutters into the spot just below Harry’s ear.

Harry feels his arse clenching at the prospect of it. It feels like it has been too long.

‘Yeah,’ he breathes, winding his arms around Dan’s neck and crossing his ankles behind his back. ‘Yeah.’

‘Could do it up against this wall,’ Dan suggests dirtily, gripping hold of Harry’s thighs a little tighter. ‘You want that?’

Harry squeezes his eyes shut because, fuck yes, he wants that. 

He wants strong arms to hold him up as he’s stretched, hands making bruises where Rich already left some, covering up bad memories with good ones. He wants lips kissing him everywhere, making his skin tingle where he still aches as well as where he doesn’t. He wants to be made to feel special, to prove Rich wrong, to prove that people can love Harry Styles. 

He bites down on Dan’s shoulder, clinging to him harder. 

He wants to prove that just because Louis didn’t save him, it doesn’t mean no one else will.

As soon as he thinks it he can feel the alcohol turning, but he tries to fight it. He tries to concentrate on Dan’s mouth at his jaw and the pressure on his groin, but the booze is turning into that black cloud that it does, letting you know that you’ve had too much fun and now it’s time for all those pretty coloured shots to make you feel bad.

He groans half in despair and half because one of Dan’s hands has settled under his shirt at his waist and it’s big and warm, but now he’s thinking if his feet don’t touch the ground soon then he might just lose himself altogether. He inhales sharply as a thumb brushes over his nipple and the word slips out before his booze-addled brain can even think to catch it.

‘ _Louis_.’

Dan’s hips and hands still suddenly and he pulls back, letting Harry drop so he’s standing on his own two feet but keeping close enough so that he doesn’t keel over. Harry tries to focus on the face in front of him, putting his hands out to steady himself, but he feels something icy threading through him when Dan’s fingers circle his wrists roughly and his expression becomes clear. He doesn’t look happy.

‘Who the fuck is Louis?’ he demands.

If Harry were sober he might think that this guy who he didn’t even know an hour ago has no right to ask him that, but his tongue feels too heavy and his stomach too sick to say anything, but it turns out he doesn’t need to.

‘ _I_ am.’

Harry’s head snaps around so quickly the room starts spinning again and it takes a while for the blurry shape standing in his doorway to take on corporeal form. 

He blinks stupidly, sure that his vision must be failing him, but then the figure takes a few steps forward and Harry can see the fists clenched at his sides and the hair that looks like it has been messed up by running against the wind, and it’s like there isn’t a 6’3” guy pinning his wrists together standing between them.

‘Louis,’ he slurs dopily. ‘In my flat?’

Louis’ steely gaze shifts from Dan to Harry and it turns a little softer, but Harry can’t be sure.

‘What did I tell you about locking your door?’ he asks, and Harry gets a flashback of waking up on the sofa to Louis slapping him around the face, reprimanding him for being so careless.

Harry giggles. ‘You sucked me off.’ Louis gives a little half-smile in return, sending an unexpected wave of sadness crashing over Harry and he wriggles pathetically against Dan’s grip. ‘Miss you.’

‘Harry –‘ Louis begins, but then Dan is cutting across him.

‘Are you his boyfriend?’ he asks, and at first Harry thinks he’s talking to him, but apparently he isn’t worth noticing anymore now that Louis is in the room and Harry can’t blame him. Louis is pretty.

Louis’ attention snaps back to Dan and his fists tighten again, eyeing the way Harry’s fingers have laced together loosely in an attempt to make the hold Dan has on him more comfortable.

‘Let him go,’ he says, his voice deceivingly level.

Dan sneers and Harry swears he didn’t have that nasty look back at the club. He pushes himself closer so that Harry’s back is touching the wall again. ‘Can’t tell me what to do if you’re not his boyfriend,’ he says, and Harry starts to feel helpless because this situation isn’t unfamiliar.

Louis comes closer and now Harry can see the red rimming his eyes and it must have been cold outside but he’s only wearing a thin white t-shirt. Harry focuses on Louis’ chest until he can see the small points of his nipples and watches as they get nearer, right up until Louis is standing next to Dan and is wrapping a hand around his upper arm.

Harry can’t help but notice how tiny Louis looks next to Dan and he feels fear curling in his chest, but then the grip on his wrists loosens and his dazed attention shifts to Louis’ fingers biting into the skin on Dan’s bicep, making it turn white.

‘I think you’ll find I can tell you what to fucking do, mate,’ Louis hisses, somehow seeming bigger even though he has to tilt his head up to look into Dan’s face. ‘If you don’t let him go in five seconds, I swear to fucking god I will break your arm so you won’t be able to hold anything the way you’re holding him. Do you understand?’

Harry’s heart is in his throat as he turns to watch Dan’s reaction, catching the wince followed by a flicker of recognition.

‘Wait, are you the stripper from the —‘ he starts, flinching when Louis digs his fingers in harder.

‘Yeah, and if you don’t want to be banned for life then I suggest you fucking listen to what I said,’ Louis says, and if Harry hadn’t been before, he was suddenly aware of the hand that was now resting on his hip, comforting and protective. ‘Let him go and get the fuck out of here.’

Harry’s arms flop as soon as Dan lets go of him and he immediately leans into Louis, who watches with eyes of fire as Dan slams out of the flat. Only afterwards does he turn to look at Harry, whose head is lolling to the side, eyes half-closed.

‘Harry?’

Harry hums. ‘Missed you sayin’ m’ name,’ he slurs, a small smile on his face like nothing was ever wrong. He opens his eyes and pulls away enough to look Louis in the face. ‘’m sorry, Lou.’

Louis’ face is a little guarded but then all the worry lines melt away, and he’s walking them slowly down the corridor to Harry’s bedroom. ‘Don’t apologise,’ he says softly.

Harry’s collapses onto his bed, letting Louis pull the duvet over him but then shuffling up so he’s propped against the wall. He holds out his hand, begging silently when Louis looks reluctant and smiling outwardly when familiar fingers lace between his and the mattress dips as Louis perches next to him.

‘I don’t think you’re stupid, Louis,’ Harry says solemnly, tracing all the curves and edges of Louis’ face with slow, uninhibited eyes. ‘Or cheap. I didn’t mean that, Lou.’ He hiccups and Louis ducks his head down. ‘Lou? I didn’t mean to shout. I get it now. Talked to Liam for a bit and I get it. Louis?’ He pauses and his eyebrows knit together like he’s trying to work something out. ‘Lou.’

He hiccups again and Louis looks up so Harry can see he’s trying not to smile. 

‘If you say my name any more times it’s going to stop sounding like a word, Harry,’ he says fondly.

‘It’s my fave word though,’ Harry replies, backtracking in his mind trying to remember if he has ever actually said the word ‘fave’ out loud before. He decides he doesn’t care, because Louis is sitting on his bed with his lips curling up in a tiny smile and he feels more peaceful than he has done in days. ‘An’ I’m still sorry, Lou. Don’t believe what Harry then said, yeah? Believe Harry now, not Harry then. Harry then was stupid.’

Louis’ smile fades a bit and he bites his lip, scooting closer so that he can coax Harry to lie down. 

‘Louis then was a bit stupid as well,’ he says quietly, brushing Harry’s hair away from his face once his head is resting on a pillow. ‘But we’ll talk about it tomorrow, okay? I don’t want to apologise now when there’s a good chance you’re too wasted to remember in the morning.’

Harry smiles blissfully, tilting his head into the touch of Louis’ hand. ‘No need for you to ‘pologise,’ he mumbles. 

Louis sighs and stands up to leave. ‘There is,’ he says. ‘I’m so sorry, Harry.’

Harry closes his eyes, suddenly feeling very warm and sleepy now that the scent of Louis has returned to his bedroom. 

He shakes his head drowsily, protesting. ‘But nearly all the bruises have gone.’ 

Louis nearly chokes, quickly shoving his fist into his mouth so he won’t make a sound, because there should never have been any bruises to begin with, not if Louis had grown a pair and done what he should have. 

He stands in the doorway, letting guilty tears wet his face as Harry’s breathing turns into light snoring, before fetching a glass of water from the bathroom and placing it within arm’s reach on the bedside table. 

Louis resists the urge to run a thumb along the plump lower lip he has missed pressed against his own or stretched into a goofy smile, instead backing away slowly, transfixed by the beautiful boy now lost to sleep and hoping that he will be at least a fraction as forgiving when he’s sober. 

Hoping against hope against hope.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the last chapter! I hope anyone who's read this has enjoyed it, I am a bit sad to see it end but at the same time I'm glad that I've managed to round things up :) I apologise if it's a bit pants, but I started this well over a year ago and you know how things are. Love to all!

When Harry wakes up, he thinks he could probably do with tearing off his own head and replacing it with a new one that doesn’t feel like it is splitting in two. He rolls over slowly, groggily aware that too much movement might lead to the emptying of his stomach onto his carpet, and is relieved to see a glass of water ready waiting for him.

He downs half the glass before he realises that he wasn’t the one to put it there. Come to think of it, he has no idea who put it there.

He squeezes the bridge of his nose and spreads out his forefinger and thumb to clear his eyes of all the crustiness that’s keeping his vision blurry, trying to recall just how he managed to drink as much as he did.

He remembers going to the club and talking to Liam about Louis, the memory churning his stomach guiltily until it knots suddenly as the image of Louis in black and white and then not very much at all flashes bright and daunting on the inside of his eyelids. His mouth goes dry and he throws back the rest of the water, very aware of his morning wood and the fact that he is still in the jeans he walked out wearing the night before.

The latter thought is a relief, because at least that means he didn’t make any one night stand mistakes last night. The comfort only lasts for a second or two before he remembers Dan in the club, Dan in the flat, and then –

_Louis_.

He shoots bolt upright, ignoring the pounding in his head, because Louis was here in his flat, Louis was here defending him, Louis, Louis, _Louis_.

‘Fuck.’ He looks around his room as if expecting to see Louis curled up in the corner waiting for him to wake up, but of course he isn’t. ‘Fuck,’ he says again, because – fuck – if he said something stupid last night then he might have ruined another chance. ‘Fuck.’ 

He swings his legs out of bed and lurches forward until his palms find his bedroom door, holding himself there to get used to being vertical before letting himself out into the corridor. He can hear the sound of Niall laughing and, he might be going crazy, but – 

‘You little Irish shit!’

Harry throws up a little in his mouth at the sound of Louis’ voice.

‘Don’t be a bully, Lou,’ another voice says, but it isn’t Niall.

Harry shakes his head, sure he must be mishearing things, but sure enough – 

‘Don’t worry, Zayn, I can give back better,’ Niall replies, followed by more laughing. 

It feels similar to eavesdropping on a party he wasn’t invited to, except Harry can’t quite understand how any of the invitations were sent out in the first place. Harry isn’t sure if he’s more scared of seeing Louis again or of getting the shit kicked out of him by Zayn, but both possibilities send him on a detour in the other direction toward the bathroom.

He kneels in front of the toilet, resting his arms along the circle of the seat, and dry heaves until it works and he’s throwing up the shots he downed the night before. He knows he’s being loud enough for the gathering in the living room to hear, just like he knows he can’t avoid facing them forever, but for now all he needs is the cool porcelain of the toilet on his cheek.

He reaches for the plastic beaker he keeps by the sink and stretches further to fill it half-full with water, swishing it around his mouth and spitting into the bowl to get rid of the bitter taste on his tongue, but he can’t say he feels much fresher. He feels dirty all over, especially when he remembers the way Dan had sucked on his skin and pawed at his body. 

He shudders and tugs down a fluffy towel to dry his face, finding comfort in its softness, turning his mind to the other man you featured heavily in his night. His chest squeezes, some vague memory of feeling safe and cared for creeping up on his senses with a good feeling that Louis was the reason. He wishes he could remember it clearer, or at least remember how he had reacted. 

He’s sure if he had done something particularly idiotic then Louis wouldn’t still be here and a well-timed squeal of laughter from down the corridor reminds him that he very much is here. It doesn’t explain why Zayn is here though. On the other hand, Niall being here is nothing out of the ordinary.

He pulls down the lid of the toilet and haphazardly folds the towel on top of it into a makeshift pillow. He sighs as he rests his head carefully, hoping for maybe a few minutes of calm before being forced to face Louis and whatever mess his alcohol-induced stupidity had caused. No such luck.

‘Harry?’ Niall knocks but he’s in the room before Harry can even lift his head. ‘Woah, rough night.’

‘I have a feeling it’s about to get even rougher,’ Harry groans, sitting up and leaning back against the tub. ‘Come here.’ He beckons Niall closer, gesturing for him to close the door behind him. ‘Mind filling me in?’

Niall squats down in front of him, looking annoyingly fresh-faced and quizzical. ‘Fill you in on what?’

Harry gives him a grim look. ‘What do you think?’

Niall’s face clears. ‘You were really drunk last night,’ he says, as if that much weren’t already clear. ‘I came over last night when I heard some guy stomping down the hall all like “fucking cock tease” and punching on the walls.’ He shrugs. ‘Got me worried like, especially seeing as I didn’t hear you come back from your little walk.’

Harry feels inexplicably deflated. ‘So you put the water by my bed then?’

‘Water?’ Niall shakes his head, pulling his mouth down. ‘Nah, that must’ve been Louis.’

‘Yeah?’ He feels lighter already.

Niall grins at him, giving him hope that maybe not everything went tits up. ‘Yeah, when I came over he was just coming out of your room. At first I thought some funny business was going on, but the look on his face.’ He pauses, fixing Harry with a steady gaze. ‘He looked wrecked. Shattered like. We had a chat, told me how he’d come over to stop you from fucking some guy you met in the club and how he went a bit mental and Louis had to practically throw him out. He caught me up on things, told me his side, y’ know.’

‘Oh.’ Harry doesn’t know quite what else to say, but he has a new image in his mind and he looks down at his wrists, seeing the bruises where Dan held him and remembering the way Louis’ fingers dug into Dan’s arm – he probably has bruises of his own.

‘Don’t worry, mate. I gave him a bit of a telling off,’ Niall assures. ‘It got a bit hard when he started crying, but –‘

‘Wait, what?’ Harry sits up a little straighter. ‘He cried?’

Niall grimaces, sitting down properly and rubbing his bad knee. ‘Yeah. I told him how you’d been recently, like how you’d wake up crying and how you’d ask for him and stuff.’ Harry feels his cheeks burn with embarrassment but at least Niall has the decency to look bashful. ‘Sorry, but like, it was hard for me to see you like that, y’ know? And it was his fault, I mean, I know you both played a part but I needed to say something so he’d understand exactly what the things he hadn’t done had done to you.’ He exhales heavily. ‘Then he started crying and told me his reasons and ended up spending the night on the sofa. I kipped on the chair in case he decided to scarper in the night and no one was around to stop you from choking on your own vomit.’

Harry feels a fierce rush of love for Niall. Despite making him sound like a whiny bitch, Niall always comes through for him in these situations. ‘Cheers, man,’ he mumbles.

‘Anytime,’ Niall beams, patting the side of his leg. ‘Oh, and Zayn’s here.’

Harry scrubs a hand over his face. ‘Yeah, I thought I heard his voice. Not here to bash my head in, is he?’

‘Nah, he was here when I woke up. Louis rang him to pick him up, but when he got here he said he wasn’t leaving until he spoke to you.’

‘Zayn wants to speak to me?’ Harry asks, feeling panicked, remembering how Liam had compared Zayn to a mother lioness.

‘No, no, no, Zayn wants Louis to speak to you,’ Niall clarifies. ‘I got the impression that Louis has been just as difficult to be around as you have. I think everyone just wants you guys to kiss and make up.’

Harry feels a flutter in his stomach. ‘D’you think we should?’

Niall shrugs. ‘I just want you to be happy, mate. You both fucked up but you both know it and I doubt you’ll make the same mistakes.’

Harry pulls at his lip nervously. ‘And he’s definitely not still mad at me?’

Niall starts to get up. ‘Not from what I can tell. I think you bringing that guy home made him see sense. Not saying it was a good move on your part or anything, but I think it was something you needed to do in a way.’ 

Harry touched his neck gingerly, feeling out the dark lovebites. ‘I guess so.’ 

‘Look, I’m going to go back out there,’ Niall says, standing up properly. ‘You brush your teeth and make yourself presentable, alright? Maybe put on something that’ll cover up those things on your neck. If you’re not with us in twenty minutes I’ll drag you out myself, whether you’re naked or not.’

Harry manages as much of a laugh as his aching head will allow. ‘You think that’ll help my case?’

Niall grabs his hand and helps him to his feet, bracing him by the shoulders. ‘All you have to do is be honest, Harry.’

‘Yeah.’ He inhales deeply. ‘Yeah, I know.’

-

Fifteen minutes later and Harry has minty fresh breath, shower fresh skin and a pair of jogging bottoms fresh from the drawer. He spends a while considering his options in terms of covering up the marks Dan mouthed onto his skin and decides upon a soft, worn hoodie, something to make him feel secure in case things go awry.

He pauses at his bedroom door, pressing his ear to it until he can make out the sounds of quiet chatter. Niall laughs suddenly and Harry can hear Louis’ higher pitch blending in with it. At least he seems to be in a good mood.

He takes a deep breath and opens the door as quietly as he can as if he can slip into the room unnoticed and just blend in, but the first step he takes into the corridor makes a floorboard squeak and he cringes. He listens out for a break in conversation but hears none and continues on his careful journey toward the living room. He stops at the archway, just before where he would become visible to people sitting around the coffee table, and steels himself trying to think of a good opening line. _Sorry I’m such a fucktard_ comes to mind.

‘Harry!’ Niall’s voice calls from the living room, startling him out of his muddled thoughts. ‘We all know you’re there so get your arse in here.’

Crap.

Feeling a little sheepish, Harry shuffles reluctantly into the room, his hands clasped together in the pocket of his hoodie. Naturally, the first thing his eyes rest on is Louis. He’s still wearing the thin white t-shirt Harry can just remember from the night before and his legs are curled up underneath him where he sits in the corner of the sofa. He’s looking right back at him and it makes Harry lose his breath so he shifts his gaze along a seat where Zayn is sitting, one arm slung across Louis’ shoulders the other behind his own head. He’s also looking right back at him, looking like he has a lot of things to say but doesn’t know if he should. Niall is in the chair opposite them, lounging back and observing the scene and Harry knows he’s judging whether or not he needs to jump in to diffuse the tension.

‘Hey,’ Harry says softly to no one in particular.

It’s ridiculous because this is his flat and he feels like the outsider.

‘Feeling better?’ 

It’s Niall who asks and Harry finds it easy enough to focus on him, despite the other two pairs of eyes boring into him.

‘Yeah, could do with some food now though.’ His stomach rumbles in agreement and he swears he hears the telltale heavier exhale of someone who is mildly amused from the sofa. He hopes it was Louis, though it wouldn’t be too bad to have Zayn on his side too.

Niall leaps up from his seat. ‘I’ll make you something!’ he declares. ‘Fancy giving me a hand, Zayn?’

He couldn’t be less subtle if he tried.

Zayn seems to ponder upon it for a moment, but then he squeezes Louis’ shoulder, strokes over his hair, and goes with Niall into the kitchen, shooting Harry a guarded look over his shoulder.

Harry avoids looking at Louis, rounding the sofa and taking up Niall’s place in the chair. If he looks up then Louis will be right in his eye line, so instead he fiddles with the drawstrings on his jogging bottoms. He can hear the clock ticking like a countdown to the moment when things will become so unbearably uncomfortable that he’ll throw up again.

‘Well, this has been sufficiently awkward,’ Louis says, and he sounds so normal that Harry can’t stop himself from looking up at him.

Fuck.

‘Fuck.’

He doesn’t mean for the word to leave his lips, but it’s all that’s on his mind now that he’s sitting so close to Louis in such a normal setting and his hair is soft and ruffled like a duckling and he has a couple days of stubble and he is so bloody gorgeous that Harry doesn’t even care that he’s staring.

‘Yeah, fuck,’ Louis repeats, and he chuckles lightly but Harry can see a worry line creasing his forehead. ‘Listen, Harry, I know Liam probably already told you everything, but I want you to hear it from me.’

Harry can only nod. He has his own piece to say but he has very much missed hearing Louis’ voice.

‘I was a colossal twat,’ Louis says, pulling his legs out from beneath him and crossing them like a schoolboy instead. ‘I let my fear get between us and I can swear to you that I’ve never regretted anything more in my life.’ He’s not looking at Harry anymore, instead focusing on his ankles. ‘I just wanted to be someone you could rely on to protect you. Ever since you told me about your stepdad I’ve had this overwhelming need to look after you, but when he was actually there…’ He sighed. ‘I realised I couldn’t protect you from everything because I was so scared, I couldn’t move. I didn’t want you to think I was a wimp.’ He shakes his head frustratedly. ‘Such an idiot. I shouldn’t have lied but I felt so weak.’

‘Weak?’ Harry repeats disbelievingly. ‘How do you think I felt?’ He doesn’t mean for it to be accusatory but he gets some kind of twisted satisfaction when he sees Louis flinch. ‘Sorry,’ he adds.

‘No, no, you’re right.’ Louis looks up then and his blue eyes are watery and ashamed. ‘Do you remember anything you said last night?’

Harry shakes his head, hoping it isn’t anything too terrible.

Louis nibbles his lip. ‘You said that I don’t need to apologise because nearly all the bruises have gone.’ He ducks his head down again and draws in a shaky breath. ‘The bruises that could have been prevented if I had just done something.’

‘Oh.’ Harry has no recollection of saying that, but now that he thinks about it, he mostly means it. ‘You don’t have to apologise. Anymore.’ He inches forward on his seat. ‘I was a colossal twat as well.’

Louis gives a tiny smile. ‘Two wrongs don’t make a right though, I feel like I should apologise to you every day for the rest of my life.’

‘No, don’t do that,’ Harry says, holding up his hand. ‘Once is enough if you mean it. I know that I really, really mean it when I say that I’m sorry for saying all those things to you. I honestly didn’t mean any of it, I actually think you’re pretty wonderful.’ He mumbles the last bit, but he knows Louis heard because his smile has grown a little. It makes him feel a bit bolder. ‘You helped me find my family, Lou.’

He swears his heart skips a beat when Louis’ smile gets even wider but then his face falls again and he’s back to looking at his ankles. ‘If I didn’t do that then Rich would never have followed us back and hurt you though,’ he says sadly.

Harry shakes his head fervently and finds himself moving to perch on the side of the coffee table so they’re closer together. ‘Don’t think like that. I would take a hundred beatings from Rich if it meant having my family back in my life. Luckily for me, I only had to take the one.’

‘Shouldn’t have been any.’ Louis looks up and his eyes are startling. ‘Harry…’

‘No, that’s the last I want to hear of it,’ Harry says firmly. ‘I forgive you, Louis.’ Tentatively, he reaches out and places his hand on Louis’ calf. ‘But I need to know if you forgive me for what I said.’ He squeezes gently before adding, ‘And for bringing that guy back here last night.’

He feels Louis tense and his heart sinks.

‘That guy was a prick and a half,’ Louis mutters. ‘Why him?’

Harry shrugs, making to remove his hand but Louis’ smaller one moves quickly to rest on top of it, keeping it where it is. Some of the tension leaves Harry’s shoulders and he can feel it bleeding out of Louis as well.

‘I don’t know,’ he admits. ‘I was smashed and he was there and I… I missed you. You looked like you hated me.’

Louis’ fingers curl underneath his palm. ‘Never. I’m sorry I gave you the cold shoulder, it’s just that didn’t expect to see you.’

‘It’s okay,’ Harry says, flipping his hand and lacing their fingers together properly. Louis smiles at him and rubs his thumb against the side of his hand, but he still feels a little sick. ‘But you keep saying sorry and you haven’t said whether or not you forgive me.’

Louis’ eyes widen and he uncrosses his legs, holding Harry’s hand between both of his own. ‘Of course I forgive you, Harry. Christ, we were both knobs, hell knows, but I know why you lashed out. It hurt like fuck, but we were both in a state and maybe on some level I needed to hear those things. Some of it was true, I’m not trying hard enough to do what I really want to do and I am scared, but at the same time I’m not ashamed of what I do now.’ He hesitates. ‘I think what I need to move forward is someone who will be there for me.’

‘You have Zayn,’ Harry says.

‘I do,’ Louis concedes. ‘But that’s not what I mean.’

‘No?’ Cocoons are bursting in Harry’s stomach.

‘No,’ Louis repeats. ‘I’ve had a lot of time to think lately and… Have you ever thought about how what happens in just one second can change someone’s life forever? A bullet, a word, a kiss, anything. They don’t take a long time but the effect they have can last a lifetime.’

Harry nods, thinking about what Niall said to him those days ago. ‘Or spending time with a puppy.’

Louis looks at him curiously, but Harry just shakes his head and smiles.

‘Yeah,’ Louis says. ‘Well, I kept thinking about the things you said.’ Harry tenses, but Louis works out the knots, rubbing his thumbs over the back of his hand. ‘You said you were doing perfectly well without me a few weeks ago and that it wouldn’t be hard to move on from me.’

‘I didn’t mean th—‘

‘I know you didn’t,’ Louis says, cutting him off. ‘But that’s just it, isn’t it? It doesn’t take a long time to feel like the person sitting next to you is too important to let go. It doesn’t matter if you meet in some cliché coffee shop or in an even more cliché strip club and it didn’t matter that I had only known you a couple weeks. I was an idiot, trying to make it seem like it wasn’t such a big deal at first, but of course it was. I thought I made it a solid deal after we spent time with your family, it felt so amazing to share that with you, you have no idea.’ He exhales heavily. ‘Then I fucked it up.’ He shakes his head, eyebrows furrowed. ‘But you have to know that that massive mistake doesn’t cancel out all the other things I did for you and said to you.’

Harry’s throat feels so tight and his heart is hammering wildly which doesn’t seem in keeping with the gentle way Louis is talking to him, but the softer his voice gets the quicker his pulse beats. He’s captivated.

‘I just thought you were fit,’ Louis says, laughing quietly. ‘I had no idea it would lead to all this.’

‘Neither did I,’ Harry says honestly. ‘I’m glad it did though.’

Louis’ mouth quirks up. ‘Even all the shit?’

Harry doesn’t even think twice. ‘If it weren’t for the shit then we wouldn’t have wound up like this.’

‘Maybe we would have wound up better though,’ Louis protests weakly, and Harry doesn’t miss the way he has shuffled to the edge of the sofa or the way his own body is mirroring him leaning in.

‘Nothing is better than this,’ Harry murmurs. Louis’ face is so close he’ll go cross-eyed if he keeps his eyes open. He closes them. ‘I missed you.’

He feels Louis’ breath hitting his cheek and inhales sharply.

‘I missed you too,’ Louis whispers, letting go of Harry’s hand and holding him by the waist instead.

‘Louis,’ Harry breathes and then Louis is kissing him, softly and sweetly, innocent if not for the way it still makes the hunger claw up his insides, craving more but not wanting to spoil the moment. 

He holds Louis’ face carefully with one hand, the other splayed on Louis’ thigh, squeezing gently. When he dares sliding it a little higher, Louis pulls away, a coy smile on his lips.

‘Now, now, Styles,’ he scolds teasingly, rubbing his hands up and down Harry’s sides. ‘You think you can get into my knickers so soon?’

Despite Louis’ light tone, Harry still feels a panicky burst of shame and drops his head down. ‘Sorry, I just —‘

Louis laughs, twisting himself until his head is nearly resting in Harry’s lap, face turned upward to look into Harry’s. ‘You’re such an idiot,’ he says, pulling Harry’s head down to kiss him again.

Harry’s back aches awfully as he curls over, but it doesn’t matter when Louis’ tongue is in his mouth and his fingers are threaded into his hair.

‘That doesn’t count as food, you know,’ comes Niall’s voice and Harry jerks his head up quickly.

Niall’s standing there with Zayn, both of them grinning. Harry can’t help but notice that Niall didn’t actually make him anything to eat.

Before he can say as much, Niall is talking again.

‘We’ll leave you boys to it,’ he says, clapping Zayn on the shoulder.

‘Yeah, I’ll see you at home, Lou,’ Zayn adds. ‘Whenever that will be.’

Louis sits up straight and sticks his tongue out at his best friend. ‘Don’t wait up for me.’

Zayn laughs. ‘I actually have a date of my own tonight.’

At that, Louis shoots up off of the sofa completely, hands on hips indignantly. ‘Ex- _cuse_ me?’

Harry stands up as well with a slow smile, slipping his arm around Louis’ waist. ‘Liam?’ he asks.

Zayn nods, smiling privately. ‘Who would’ve thought, right?’

Louis side-steps out of Harry’s hold and looks at him accusingly. ‘How the hell do you know anything about this? They’re _my_ friends!’

The other three laugh at him, but Harry doesn’t say anything, instead breathing a little easier when Zayn says, ‘We’re Harry’s friends too, you brat.’ He throws Harry a small, forgiving look and Harry smiles gratefully. ‘Maybe if you weren’t so wrapped up in your own maudlin affairs you might have thought to ask me who I had been texting so much lately,’ Zayn adds, earning a laugh from Niall.

‘Oi,’ Louis pouts, scooting back into Harry’s side. 

‘Only kidding, mate,’ Zayn says, shrugging on his leather jacket. ‘Turns out he’s had a bit of a crush on me for a while.’ He pulls a cigarette out of his pocket and slips it behind his ear. ‘Harry can tell you all about that though.’

Louis harrumphs and bumps Harry with his hip, but Harry just holds him tighter. ‘Always the last to know,’ Louis grumbles.

‘Don’t be such a child,’ Zayn admonishes. ‘In fact, it was the way you went storming off after Harry last night that inspired him to ask me out, so really we’ve got you to thank if things go well.’

Louis’ eyes light up and he loops his arm around Harry’s hips. ‘Ha!’ he says smugly.

‘Oh, shut it you,’ Harry replies, dropping a kiss to Louis’ hair.

‘Sickening, the lot of you!’ Niall exclaims, throwing an arm around Zayn’s shoulders like they’re old friends. ‘We’d better go before they put on a show for us.’

Zayn laughs and ruffles Niall’s hair. ‘That would be apt considering how they met.’

‘Oh, fuck off,’ Louis says, not waiting for the door to close behind the pair before turning into Harry and kissing him hard.

-

‘Pay attention to me!’ Louis whines, slapping the phone out of Harry’s hands.

‘Hey!’ Harry grumbles, plucking his phone off of the floor and nudging Louis lightly in the ribs. ‘I’ve been paying more than enough attention to you these past few days.’

Louis giggles and nuzzles into Harry’s side where they’re sat curled up on the sofa. ‘That may be true, but I have a show to prepare for soon.’

Harry rolls his eyes and finishes his text. ‘I know, I know.’

Louis leans over his arm, peeking at the screen. ‘Why are you texting Niall anyway? He’s only next door.’

Harry gives him a sardonic look. ‘Would you rather I leave you here on your lonesome while I gossip with Niall about Liam and Zayn then?’

Louis pouts. ‘I would hope you’d take me with you.’

Harry sets his phone down and pecks Louis on the temple fondly. ‘Bloody idiot, aren’t you?’

‘You’re the one texting your neighbour when your boyfriend’s sitting right here,’ he huffs. ‘And I’m topless.’ He emphasises this last point by pulling away from Harry and stretching himself out, propping his feet on the coffee table. 

Harry looks down the line of Louis’ body, all golden skin, soft curves and smooth hipbones. 

He swallows. ‘Okay, I see your point,’ he says, stroking a hand over Louis’ belly and playing with the hair that grows there. ‘But he wanted me to tell him how their second date went.’

Louis shrugs, picking up Harry’s hand and placing it over his own nipple instead, closing his eyes when Harry’s fingers immediately start tweaking it. ‘They snogged and Liam got a boner, not much to say.’

Harry pinches his nipple hard for his dismissive attitude, making him yelp. ‘Don’t be like that. You’re still jealous that Liam told me before he told you.’

Louis bats Harry’s hand away and pouts again. ‘Am not.’

‘Are too,’ Harry teases, pretending to go for Louis’ nipples again, but when Louis opens his mouth to protest he kisses him instead, waiting for his hands to fall to his lap before rolling one of his nipples between his fingers. He doesn’t stop until Louis moans softly into his mouth.

‘Why’d you stop?’ Louis complains pathetically, trying to lean back in.

‘There’s a show to prepare for, remember?’ Harry says, standing up and tugging Louis with him.

Louis’ eyes widen eagerly, breaking away to get his shirt and shoes on. ‘You’re right! C’mon then.’

-

He’s nervous. He feels like the thong he’s wearing is riding up too much and the music isn’t what he’s used to, not to mention his cock is uncomfortably hard. He takes a few deep breaths before stepping out to greet his audience, approaching the pole and hitching his leg up around it awkwardly.

Fuck it.

‘I can’t do this, Lou,’ Harry whinges, dropping his leg back down.

Louis sighs exasperatedly from where he’s sitting on his sofa. ‘But you promised.’

Harry really wishes he hadn’t agreed to this despite how much he loves the way Louis is looking at him and the way he’s rubbing himself through his jogging bottoms.

‘I really think this sort of thing should be left to the professionals,’ he reasons, wriggling on the spot to try and make the permanent wedgie a bit less uncomfortable. 

Louis’ eyes light up. ‘He- _llo_ ,’ he says cheekily, staring intently at Harry’s groin.

Harry looks down to see the head of his dick poking out from the pouch of the black thong. ‘Christ,’ he mutters, easing it back in.

‘As if I haven’t seen it all before,’ Louis teases, blatantly shoving his hand down his joggers. 

Harry can see the movement of his hand through the cotton and wants nothing more than to leap from his place next to Louis’ pole and into Louis’ lap instead. Ha. Louis’ pole. He chuckles in his head.

‘The point of the show isn’t for you to actually see the goods though,’ he says.

‘You’re not exactly putting on a show though,’ Louis points out, his voice cracking as he slides his hand over his dick in short movements. ‘I’ve got another idea.’

‘Yeah?’ Harry hopes it involves getting him out of the miserable excuse for underwear that’s barely keeping his cock restrained.

‘Yeah,’ Louis breathes. He pulls his hand out of his boxers and rearranges himself so his dick is lying flat up toward his belly instead of tenting out the front of his jogging bottoms. After he peels off his t-shirt as well, he pats the tops of his thighs invitingly. ‘How about a lap dance instead?’

Harry gulps. ‘I don’t know if I can do that.’

Louis looks at him impatiently for a moment before lifting his hips and shucking his jogging bottoms and underwear down his legs and onto the floor, leaving him stark naked. He wraps his hand back around his dick, pumping it slowly and spreading his legs. Harry might pass out.

‘How about now?’ Louis challenges. 

Harry’s already stumbling forward, clumsily straddling Louis and knocking his hand out the way so he can feel his dick pressed up against his own. ‘Louis,’ he breathes.

Louis sucks on a finger and moves his hands around to Harry’s arse, squeezing the cheeks before plucking aside the string of his thong and pressing his wet fingertip to Harry’s hole gently. Harry inhales sharply, trying to push himself back onto it, but Louis’ just teasing.

‘C’mon, Haz,’ Louis mutters against one of Harry’s nipples. ‘Show me what you’ve got.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to anyone who has read this :) it's been fun.


End file.
